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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Yocheved84
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 Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:05 am
I clicked over to Facebook this morning, and on one of my friend (non-Jewish, though that doesn't really matter I guess)'s mobile uploads was her positive pregnancy test result!
I was floored. I'm not Miss Manners or anything, but is this something people do? Not only is it insensitive to those TTC, but it's also showing a pee test, and also, the first few months of pregnancy are a very sensitive time with risk. Oy vey. Is it just me, or is this very gauche?
(And of course, the comments are rolling in from both men and women with congratulatory remarks, but then her brother in law said something crude-"BAM!".) I don't know. In the same vein, are posting the ultrasound pix ok?
(motivated to post b/c of the other Facebook etiquette threads this week)
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saw50st8
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:12 am
Doesn't bother me...I know quite a few women who have done it.
One of my friends posted a negative test LOL.
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Liba
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:18 am
It is commonly done in circles where they would be announcing the results anyway, picture or not.  The pictures I have seen are just of the results though, not the peed on part.
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amother
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:21 am
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part of me is shocked because even many non-jews I know don't announce their pregnancy until 3 months because of risks of miscarriage etc... so its not very smart of her to do that. nor very saavy or classy at all. but on the other hand, ive seen people post such personal information on facebook that nothing shocks me anymore. its like ppl have zero sense of privacy anymore....
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Hashem_Yaazor
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:22 am
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It's been done on onlysimchas too (after the birth).
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Yocheved84
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:22 am
OK--I guess I'm just over-sensitive and over-reacted, then. I just grew up with the notion that it's a secret for three months with the exception of "VIP" people. I did wish her much mazel, though.
(Yeah--I remember girls posting the negative ones, too!) I was just like "What!"
There was an article in the news last week I think about women posting these pictures and the implications. I forget where.
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Yocheved84
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:23 am
| Hashem_Yaazor wrote: | | It's been done on onlysimchas too (after the birth). |
Right--but this girl literally found out that she is pregnant, so she is what, three weeks along?? A month at most...
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ora_43
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:24 am
I've seen it done on non-Jewish parenting boards.
I think people who announce pregnancies right away usually either aren't aware of the miscarriage risk, or feel that they would share news of a miscarriage anyway.
If anything, I'd think it'd be more appropriate on Facebook than anywhere else. After all, it's the one site that's 1. only for people who care to follow your life and 2. all about sharing personal information in that special Internet-era kind of way.
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saw50st8
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:26 am
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There is a subset of people who share everything on facebook (went to the bathroom this morning, had 2 bowel movements and 3 cc of urine! Ate 1/4 cup oatmeal with applesauce for breakfast. Excersized for 17 minutes! Yay! Oh and I think I'm making a salad for lunch - any thoughts on that?)
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bigsis144
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:32 am
They're posting a pic of a POS? Ew.
Forget the pregnancy stuff, that alone is disturbing.
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mom4life
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 10:32 am
| saw50st8 wrote: | | There is a subset of people who share everything on facebook (went to the bathroom this morning, had 2 bowel movements and 3 cc of urine! Ate 1/4 cup oatmeal with applesauce for breakfast. Excersized for 17 minutes! Yay! Oh and I think I'm making a salad for lunch - any thoughts on that?) |
Okay, I agree with you that people do post lots and share to much. But you've got to defriend anyone who talks about their bathroom activities.... GROSS!!!
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Yocheved84
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 11:28 am
LOL. Well, if it's other people who lack tact, that's fine. But I'm surprised to see people I grew up with making such announcements through the Internet. It's also weird because the last time I saw these people was high school--so when I think of them, I think of both of us being kids. And here we are all grown up. ::takes out the violin:: But I really do think this person has never had to face TTC issues, or miscarriage, or those who have. I just also think she's a bit clueless. Well, all the best to her. But just....odd. And inappropriate.
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tdot2mtl
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 12:50 pm
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I`m with you on the tactless part. I`m a very private person and dont post anything about my life on facebook. I dont post pictures of my baby or update my status about my everyday comings and goings. we live in a world were nothing is private anymore (facebook, reality tv etc). I think thats a bit inappropriate, but hey, what do I know?
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suzyq
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 12:58 pm
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I always think it's weird and scary also, but it doesn't seem to have the same kind of negative connotation as it does in the frum world. My co-workers often announce pregnancies as soon as they find out, along with the gender and name of the future child and often, the date and time it's scheduled to be born. Baby showers are given with the name of the child on the cake. To me, it's weird, because Jewish people just don't do that. To them, it's normal.
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chocolate chips
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 2:53 pm
If shes gonna be telling everyone so early in the game anyway, I am guessing it doesn't really bother her HOW she does it.
Everyone has seen a test at some stage in their life; and its probably less work in thinking of nice words of how to write it.
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amother
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 3:21 pm
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my co-worker who is not Jewish didn't bring in her stick but she did tell us she was pregnant the morning she took it. The next day they had names picked out for a boy and a girl and once she found out what she is having she referred to the baby as his name. When my office found out I was pregnant they were shocked that I had kept it a secret for 5 months because they don't do things like that. I guess its the same idea where they have the whole family there for the birth. I had just my hubby and we didn't even tell anyone I was in labor until it became a necessity.
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chocolate moose
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 4:40 pm
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I'd post about the bathroom if it were funny or interesting to anyone besides me. I try to make FB fun.
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shabbatiscoming
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 5:37 pm
| Yocheved84 wrote: | I clicked over to Facebook this morning, and on one of my friend (non-Jewish, though that doesn't really matter I guess)'s mobile uploads was her positive pregnancy test result!
I was floored. I'm not Miss Manners or anything, but is this something people do? Not only is it insensitive to those TTC, but it's also showing a pee test, and also, the first few months of pregnancy are a very sensitive time with risk. Oy vey. Is it just me, or is this very gauche?
(And of course, the comments are rolling in from both men and women with congratulatory remarks, but then her brother in law said something crude-"BAM!".) I don't know. In the same vein, are posting the ultrasound pix ok?
(motivated to post b/c of the other Facebook etiquette threads this week) | Sorry, but I had to comment on that line. I have fertility issues (cant get pregnant on my own) and I would not find this to be insensitive at all.
If the whole world did not do, say, write things that have to do with pregnancy just because someone out there would feel hurt because of IF, then a lot of things would not be done, said or written.
I just think that it is this woman's choice. She should not have to think of the women out there with IF (myself included in that group of women)
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amother
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Wed, Apr 06 2011, 5:45 pm
| saw50st8 wrote: | | There is a subset of people who share everything on facebook (went to the bathroom this morning, had 2 bowel movements and 3 cc of urine! Ate 1/4 cup oatmeal with applesauce for breakfast. Excersized for 17 minutes! Yay! Oh and I think I'm making a salad for lunch - any thoughts on that?) |
hee hee you sound like my sisters and I - we cant stand when people share the FULL details of their day
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