I can't take it anymore...

Health is a Virture

Sun, Apr 24 2011, 2:41 am

I am so tired of my 9 year old yelling at me and blaming everything on me. He had strep unbeknownst to us and exhibited pandas (ODD like behavior, but somewhat OCD, in that he kept getting stuck on one thing, driving me crazy)...couldn't say a nice word to me or siblings, etc. he also was stuttering. doctor recommended strep culture, he had strep, symptoms lessened and lessened over the next few weeks.

dd got strep suddenly, ds started stuttering more and was exhibiting very similar behaviors to how he was when he had strep. he got a strep culture, took a few days to get results because of pre y"t and stuff. by then, his symptoms started to lessen and I said "I don't think he has strep but I M SURE that his behaviors were from teh strep in the air)...they were just too similiar, getting stuck on a thought and stuff like that. I was right.

so every time he is exposed to strep I am going to have to deal witht his????

he still stutters sometimes and though he is not SO stuck on one thought, I am finding that his behavior is just getting more difficult. I don't think currently his behavior is due to strep....I just had to get the first part off of my chest.

He has difficulty falling asleep and a lot of times though it's just because he is reading in bed. he used to exercise and be much more active which so helped his behaviors (sensory!!!), but I can't force him to do it. he is 9 years old and I am finding that ever since he had pandas he is just so much more chutpadik to me. he is still stightly stuttering when he is tired ('cept for those few days when dd had strep it got worse) and sometimes I get to see a nice side of him, but his chutzpah is outrageous!! partly because he does not get enough sleep!

he wants to go to a special chol hamoed learning program in the morning, if he is there for shacharis on time he gets 2 extra raffle tickets. I wake him up to go and have to help him get dressed bec. he is so tired. (he ate chocolate yesterday and so couldn't fall asleep last night...can't totally blame him for being so tired this time) and then he just has to yell at me. he tells me is not screaming but he is. he tells me if he is late I have to pay him momey. he blames me for everything!!!

I try to be strong and not give in and I try to make him speak nicely to me if he has a request.

but I feel like he is just getting worse with age in some ways!!!

he refuses to go to shul in the morning on shabbos/yom tov and my dh doesn't want me to force him. and so he bothers his siblings all monring (chol hamoed he is going because it is fun...he likes learning...and he gets tickets, etc.) I guess I shoudl make him some sort of "mivtzah" for going on yom tov/shabbos, but why does everything have to be a reward/prize? why can't he just do thing because that is what is done???

thanks for letting me vent...sorry for the length of this post...any advice would be helpful...not sure what advice I woudl want.

just tell me it's not ALL my fault.

grace413

Sun, Apr 24 2011, 2:59 am

It's not all your fault.

Some kids are very difficult.

Have you consulted a doctor or other professional?

ChossidMom

Sun, Apr 24 2011, 3:55 am

It's NOT your fault.
While I don't have advice (and I have a tough kid of my own to deal with as well), I would like to point out that don't force my perfectly "normal" 10 year old to go to shul on Shabbos.
And, when I have kids that need reinforcement in certain areas I most certainly do prize them.
Hang in there and speak to a professional please (child psychologist or such).

bnm

Sun, Apr 24 2011, 9:28 am

the strep is probably still in his system. ask your pediatrican about PANDAS, your son is displaying a lot of its symptoms..

flowerpower

Sun, Apr 24 2011, 2:21 pm

Ditto to bnm-might need long term dose of antibiotics. Cetain pediatrics deal with PANDAS-not all pedis know much about it.

mandksima

Tue, Apr 26 2011, 1:51 am

My child is exactly like that all of the time, without strep. I can offer no advice but can give you some hugs...

merelyme

Tue, Apr 26 2011, 6:54 am

It's not your fault.
I wish I had practical advice.
Here's wishing you much hatzlacha and nachas.

Health is a Virture

Tue, Apr 26 2011, 9:55 am

I did a retest for strep and the strep was out of his system. I tested him before yom tov and he didn't have strep...I think he was just reacting to his sisters strep (pandas is what I wrote he has)! my baby now might have strep which would clearly explain why suddenly again ds is acting the way he is acting. this is crazy!!! I don't understand...every time he is exposed to strep I am going to have to go through this again!!!???

Tamiri

Tue, Apr 26 2011, 10:21 am

Are you doing muscle testing/kenisiology?

RachaelLeah

Tue, Apr 26 2011, 5:41 pm

another suggestion - try EFT, it works miracles for my children's issues. you can pm me for more info.

amother

Tue, Jul 26 2011, 8:55 pm

OP - did I write this post? Even the title is like my mantra...Wow - you described my sistuation exactly.

My son is almost 9, was diagnosed with Pandas a year ago, and on zithromax since then. His chutzpa is unreal, agressive, annoys siblings all the time, won't go to shul on Shabbos unless he is bribed, won't change out of his clothes at night, only falls asleep because we force him to take melatonin. Lots of ADD/ODD behaviors.

Even if he has no strep (which he has not had in a long time) he still reacts to strep in the house as well as other illnesses around him. This is incredibly frustrating. I don't think I can take it any longer. The summers also tend to be much worse. This is the 3rd summer we are dealing with this. Sometimes I think I will just jump out my window.

He consumes all of our time and energy, sets a very tense and difficult tone in the house. It is very hard to set firm limits because he will literally get destructive and abusive if he does not get his way...I can't have a meltdown every night. I also feel a lot of the behavior is already learned.

They say Pandas gets better at puberty, but personally I don't believe it.

I am going to try the GAPS diet once I get my act together and am hoping that will "reset" his immune system. But it is very, very frustrating and the fact that he appears to be an angel on the outside is hard because you feel like your home life is a mess, but no one can even understand because everything looks great to the outside eye. It's not like someone who has an obvious disability and people can understand why you look like a dishrag. There are some evenings that I literally am left with no energy to even clear the dinner table or shower, after surviving the day with this child.

I sometimes wonder if other kids on this forum have undiagnosed Pandas...

HUGS!