Friend's Wedding at Same Location as Anime Con. Help!

melbee

Tue, May 10 2011, 11:05 am

DH and I just realized this his best friend's wedding is being held at the same day and time as a weekend long anime convention. The convention hall did not tell him for whatever reason, and he has no idea. I'm not sure how familiar many of you are with the convention scene, but it is completely untznius in terms of dress (some of the costumes worn have less fabric than bikinis) and the wedding being at 3 PM, everyone from the convention will be outside partying. The hall where the wedding is being held is owned by the hotel hosting the convention, so I assume most of his guests will be staying in the hotel with the convention-goers (and speaking with some experience, the night scene is even more crazy, with room parties and heavy drinking. It's very loud and chaotic, which is part of the draw for the cons).

I have to emphasize: the chosson and kallah have no idea this is going on! The wedding is only 2 weeks away, so it's not like they can find another venue, and it's highly unlikely anything could be done. Both the chosson and kallah are under a great deal of stress already for various reasons. We've already pretty much decided they have to be told. Any thoughts on how to break the news? Or do you think it's better left unsaid and let everything fall as it will? DH drives past this scene every year, and I have visited friends there that really like to go, so I'm not exaggerating on how chaotic this can be.

melbee

Tue, May 10 2011, 11:26 am

bigsis144 wrote:

Oy, I really feel bad, really, but I can't help laughing imagining it. Sorry Smile

Wish I knew what to advise...

Don't apologize. DH and I were laughing too, but in that nervous, "it's so horrible I'm laughing but it's so ludicrous" way. Hopefully the chosson and kallah also will be able to laugh at the situation (admittedly probably after the fact).

SplitPea

Tue, May 10 2011, 12:04 pm

oh thats horrible! (snickering jsut a little here)

they DEF have to be told. if it were MY wedding I would do some QUICK change of plans and DEMAND a refund form the hotel... things CAN be booked quickly and sometimes cheaper than if you book in advance! With a good team of friends helping out making calls everything can turn out okay....

I would NOT want my wedding in such a setting

Cookiegirl

Wed, May 11 2011, 1:57 pm

I work in a hotel...I would suggest the following:

You definitely must advise the wedding party in advance so they can be prepared.

Caterer and parents (or friends/support system) of bride and groom need to request a Pre-Event Conference with the General Manager and the Banquet Staff at the hotel (Director of Food and Beverage, and Banquet Manager at a minimum), as well as the Director of Loss Prevention/Security (whatever that role is called at the hotel). They should ideally have the Sales Manager who "sold" them the wedding there as well. The Anime Con should be having extra security. The Director of Security, GM and Director of Food and Beverage should present a plan of how the wedding guests will be escorted/directed to the area where the wedding is, and security personnel (even if it means more than the hotel would normally provide) need to be on hand throughout the wedding to keep anime overflow away from the wedding party- this is especially tricky if they need to walk from place to place for Chuppah and dinner but it can be done. It would be a similar situation to having a gov't official or rock star coming to the hotel at the same time as general population (the wedding party is the Rock Star in this case- probably the smaller group compared to the Con attendees). The hotel should be able to handle this with the Con coordinators. Also, if there are guests staying overnight, their rooming block should be in one particular area of the hotel- so that not every other room has an anime party going on in it...

PM me if you need more help/advice/info...

Good Luck- it can be done!

Yocheved84

Wed, May 11 2011, 1:57 pm

melbee wrote:

You have to call the catering manager and tell them that you have a conservative crowd (don't bring up religion at first) and that this should have been disclosed. Where is the wedding? You could pressure the heck out of the hall via the local beis din/Jewish press/etc to get them to give you a separate entrance or ... better yet....get your friends wedding to start an hour earlier or something.

Too bad it's not ComiCon instead of AnimeCon....

melbee

Wed, May 11 2011, 4:32 pm

Thanks for all the ideas! DH spoke to the chosson earlier today, and he said he would mention it to the kallah's parents, but wouldn't be surprised if nothing is done. The chosson thinks it's too late to change anything, and doubts it will be so bad. I hope for both their sakes that he's right. I spoke with a friend of mine who frequents cons like this one, and she agreed with me that there is definitely room for some serious concern.

And the convention is in the same building as the wedding. The friend I mentioned above has gone to this specific con in the past, and she says they cordon off areas with rope or something to that effect to ensure everyone stays in their corners. I will pass along all your excellent advice to DH and see what he says to do. He said that it felt from him that the chosson had dismissed the concerns, and that we are off the case, so I'm not sure there is anything left to do. Now if I could just stop worrying...