legal name issues | Imamother

amother

Wed, May 25 2011, 8:04 am

I am pregnant now and if we have a girl we have decided to name it after DH Grandmother who passed away recently. The problem is we really don't like the first name and plan on calling her by the middle name.

My son has 2 names also but we call him by his second name so when we go to the Dr or do anything legal it is simple.

My dh however is called by his second name and it gets very confusing as when he calls the bank or tries to be official he always uses his first name. I really don't want his to happen to my daughter as it gets really confusing, but I really can't imagine leaving out the first name especially as DH grandmother was known by her first name and no one even knew she had this second name and I could seeing it really peeving MIL if we totally overlook the name.

WWYD??

chocolate moose

Wed, May 25 2011, 10:51 am

nAME THE NAME you want and call yourselves the name you want to. I don't think it's such a dilemma.

I have a yiddish first name that I never use.

StrawberrySmoothie

Wed, May 25 2011, 10:53 am

Name her the names you want to use. On her birth certificate use the second name. She will probably not be using her legal name that often anyways. My child goes by their second name and is legally called by their first name. It's not such a big deal.

Barbara

Wed, May 25 2011, 11:17 am

Why couldn't your husband open the bank account as W Wilson Goode, rather then Willie Wilson Goode, or Willie W. Goode? End of problem on that front.

NotInNJMommy

Wed, May 25 2011, 11:21 am

I go by a name totally different than my legal name, as a BT. I just know that in certain situations--ie. bank, etc., that I use my legal name. For people who need to call me by my name (coworkers, friends, etc.) I use my "social" name, and that's who most people know me as.

amother

Wed, May 25 2011, 11:23 am

Barbara wrote:

Why couldn't your husband open the bank account as W Wilson Goode, rather then Willie Wilson Goode, or Willie W. Goode? End of problem on that front.

Good point. He seems not to care about it as his first name is more official sounding and he likes the name I just can't stand it. Also his second name is hard to pronounce and he is anyways called by a nickname. Eg his name is Nechemia and he is known as Chemmy.

If he would have his way he would give up his nickname and be called by his first name but at this age it would be ridiculous to do that. It really bothers me that some people know him by his first name that has no connection to him. I really don't want this to also happen with my daughter.

PinkandYellow

Wed, May 25 2011, 12:57 pm

Can you call her what you want and use a completely different english name for the birth cert and official use?
My husband is called by a nickname of his first name but officially, and with banks, etc. he is called by his english name. You get used to having a different name 'in real life' and 'officially'.

realeez

Wed, May 25 2011, 1:13 pm

My husband goes by his middle name and he finds it annoying (like his med school diploma says: P. John Doe). With one son who is named after my grandfather but goes by his middle name I reversed the names on his birth certificate - it's not like they check it when giving an aliyah or vise versa!

allrgymama

Wed, May 25 2011, 1:41 pm

DD has two names. Her first is more biblical (and easier for a [gentile] to pronounce) and the second is Yiddish.

Whenever we go to a doctor or need something documented or legal for her, we always use her first name.

It's the same difference as having a nickname at home but using her first or actual name in a more formal setting.

I don't see what the big deal is.

amother

Wed, May 25 2011, 1:51 pm

allrgymama wrote:

Because we hate the name!!

farm

Wed, May 25 2011, 1:58 pm

No one will know what it says on her birth certificate except you and DH. Give her the legal name that is the most convenient for you.

cheerio

Wed, May 25 2011, 3:54 pm

Don'w know how'd you feel about this, but what about switching the order of the names? For ex: if the grandmothers name was Shprintza Miriam, and you don't like Shprintza but you like Miriam and plan on calling her that, why not do Miriam Shprintza? Then you can call her Miriam and so will banks, doc, driver's liscence, CCs, etc. but you still have the Shprintza in there to make the MIL happy? If most people don't know that "Miriam" was the second name and that you switched the order, what's the difference? Or you could just say you liked this order better...

just an idea

(no offense to anyone named Shprintza or Miriam, just easier to explain myself using names)

realeez

Wed, May 25 2011, 4:52 pm

amother wrote:

allrgymama wrote:

Because we hate the name!!

So leave it off the birth certificate all together - no one will care!

allrgymama

Wed, May 25 2011, 6:37 pm

I'm not a big fan of her first name either. But how often do you go to the doctor? How often are you going to have to book a ticket? And there is nothing wrong, legally speaking, in going by your second name, so long as it's on your birth certificate and documentation.

Meaning: if you' legally name your child Chaya A Cohen (because some people give just an initial) but call her Aidel at home, and then she wants to open a bank account under the name 'Aidel' that would be complicated.

But if you put 'Chaya Aidel Cohen' on the birth certificate and she chooses to go by 'Aidel' that's totally fine and the banks or doctors or whomever shouldn't have a problem calling her that.

(Name chosen at random.)

zaq

Wed, May 25 2011, 7:59 pm

cheerio wrote:

why not do Miriam Shprintza? Then you can call her Miriam and so will banks, doc, driver's liscence, CCs, etc. but you still have the Shprintza in there to make the MIL happy

SOP in many families. You pretty much know this is going on when the kid is called Modernisraelifirstname Yiddishmiddlename or Newlychicobscuretanachicfirstname Boringtraditionaloverusedtanachicmiddlename.
like Atarah Beila or Eviatar Zanvel. So long as they don't call him Zaatar Evel, it's all good.

Peanut2

Wed, May 25 2011, 8:36 pm

Who will even know what's on the birth certificate?

When in shul or whatever you do to name her called her Yocheved Leah. Tell all family and friends that that is her name, and that is her name Jewishly. You will be calling her Leah.
Put Nicole Elizabeth on her birth certificate for all anyone cares. Or Leah Yocheved.

Isramom8

Thu, May 26 2011, 1:18 am

Okay, but when she makes aliyah, her legal birth certificate name becomes her name on her teudat zehut, and everyone (like every doctor, store owner, banker) has access to that info, and will call her by the first name written there. It will be on her kupat cholim card, etc.

chanchy123

Thu, May 26 2011, 1:30 am

Isramom8 wrote:

Yeah, my father had to go change his name legally after making aliyah - to his Hebrew name, but his Hebrew name is very archaic and hard to pronounce even for Israelis (a Hebrew name not a Yiddish one) and it just never cought on, so he goes by his English nickname (think Bob for Robert), but officially his name on all documents is his Hebrew name. Very confusing.

miami85

Thu, May 26 2011, 5:46 pm

I've had the same issue-- legally I have a different first name and I'm called by a middle name. When my son was born we were going to be naming after my father--who had the same thing BUT in his case his hebrew name, lets say it was "Avraham Yitzchak" in hebrew in English he was called "Isaac Abraham" and since he was known--and our son will be known as "Isaac" we put Isaac Abraham on the birth certificate so to make things a bit easier on him growing up. Hope that's somewhat helpful.

dmum

Thu, May 26 2011, 6:18 pm

We put just the second nickname as the legal name on the birth certificate. For eg (not her real name, but that style) say the name is Sarah Nechama, and we intended on calling her Chomi. We just put Chomi as the name on the birth certificate. Makes it much easier for drs, passport etc, as we rarely use the other name, and very very rarely use the whole second name.