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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
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 Wed, Jun 29 2011, 1:53 pm
I have an elderly lady living on my road who I visit as much as I can. last week I paid her a visit and bought her some fruit, some croissants, and smoked salmon. just this evening, I called her to see how she's doing. she has lost quite a bit of her eyesight. after a few minutes she said to me quite aggressively, "Don't ever buy me smoked salmon again - it had plastic in between it and it nearly killed me!!" so I said "don't worry, I won't buy it for you again". I can understand that she was aggravated by the incident and most natural to blame the source she got it from, but I was totally innocent - I didn't know there would be plastic in it when I bought it 
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out of town rebbitzen
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Wed, Jun 29 2011, 7:42 pm
ouch! it always hurts when you go out of your way to be nice and all you get in return is a complaint. I totally understand. You went out and bought some expensive gifts for a woman you care about. I'm sure she likes you, which is probably why she complained. Many people, especially older people don't like "accepting handouts". Obviously this was not your intent. I'd try not to take it too personally if I were you. If you want to buy her something in the future, maybe call her when you're going to the store, say you're anyway going--can you pick something up for her? If she insists on paying, let her--you don't want to hurt her pride.
Kol hakavod for really wanting to help/be nice to this woman.
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shirachadasha
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Wed, Jun 29 2011, 10:14 pm
OP,
I don't know this woman so here is my speculation... Something that is common among elderly people is distress that they can no longer do what they previously did.
In the past, if she wanted salmon, she would drive to the supermarket, choose the brand she likes, open the package easily and enjoy the salmon. Now she is dependent on other people to purchase her food and prepare it and may even have a dulled sense of taste. The salmon experience is just not what it used to be.
If she is upset about anything, it is not about you or the salmon - it is about her situation
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yummy2
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Wed, Jun 29 2011, 10:33 pm
yes, I think she still likes you.
she didnt yell dont come visit anymore, she is not mad at you, like the poster above said, it"s her situation she is frustrated with.
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mamaof2
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Thu, Jun 30 2011, 4:16 pm
Im pretty sure you have nothing to worry about 
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