Resources on How to talk to children about Strangers/Danger

aidelmaidel

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 5:12 pm

PLEASE - Instead of using this thread to discuss the terrible tragedy that befell Leibby a"h yesterday, I would like to start a thread where people can post resources they can use to speak to their children about strangers, danger, abduction (by strangers or known individuals), molestation, etc.

I'll start with three things I find VERY USEFUL:

1. TALK TO YOUR KIDS about all these subjects. Don't let your personal discomfort stop you from keeping your child safe. KEEP TALKING TO YOUR KIDS. It's not a one time conversation.

2. The Safe Side - http://www.thesafeside.com/ - a program created by John Walsh to help keep kids in the know about who YOU AS PARENTS trust. (ie that your child is only allowed to go somewhere with a "safe side adult" who you have told them about in advance).

3. Safety Tats - http://safetytat.com/ - Safety tats are temporary tattoos that you put on your child and can include which ever information you need - emergency #, allergies, non-verbal, autistic, etc. I think they are AWESOME. Great for trips to locations where there is a large crowd, the beginning of camp and school when counselors/teachers don't really know your child yet, field trips, etc.

What other things do you find useful?

aidelmaidel

Wed, Jul 13 2011, 5:16 pm

One more:

Family Watchdog - http://www.familywatchdog.us/ - this is a clearinghouse website where you can search for registered relations offenders in your neighborhood. (Please note some states are not covered). They include addresses, photos, and details on the crime when available. At our previous apartment we discovered by searching that our landlord's handyman (who lived around the corner from us) had living with him his son, who was a registered relations offender. We quickly informed our landlord that we absolutely did not want this man in our apartment (even if helping the handyman) and wanted to make sure the son had NO ACCESS to even the keys to our apartment. ETA: YES, you will find frum people here.

sped

Thu, Jul 14 2011, 2:33 am

A few years ago I saw an article with tips on how to teach your children who to ask for help, if they need it. I don't remeber the whole thing, but some points are to go to a policeman, of course; to ask only ladies, and not men and preferably a lady with kids or an elderly one.

KollelMommy

Thu, Jul 14 2011, 5:06 am

Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz has a very good video on teaching children about personal safety at http://vimeo.com/25322132. Every mother MUST watch it.
Our children need to know that they can say "No" to an adult, even someone with a beard, peyos, etc. who "looks Jewish."

Geulanow

Fri, Jul 15 2011, 12:47 am

Do your children know....
1. How to honor their feelings-if someone makes them uncomfortable, that's an important signal;
2. You(the parents) are strong enough to hear about any experience they've had, no matter how unpleasant;
3.It's okay to rebuff and defy adults;
4. It's okay to be assertive;
5. How to ask for assistance or help;
6. How to choose who to ask; (He suggest it's better to tell them to ask women than men)
7. How to describe their peril;
8. It's okay to strike, even to injure, someone if they believe they are in danger, and that you'll support any action they take as a result of feeling uncomfortable or afraid;
9. It's okay to make noise, to scream, to yell, to run;
10. If someone ever tries to force them to go somewhere, what they scream should include, "This is not my father " (because onlookers seeing a child scream or even struggle are likely to assume the adult is a parent).
11. If someone says, "Don't yell," the thing to do is yell (and the corollary: If someone says, "Don't tell," the thing to do is tell);
12. To fully resist ever going anywhere out of public view with someone they don't know, and particularly to resist going anywhere with someone who tries to persuade them.
from: Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin De Becker