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Forum
-> Household Management
saw50st8
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 Sun, Jul 17 2011, 11:51 am
I've seen this statement on plenty of threads and I really don't understand it. Why do people find that to be the case?
In the three times I've been home as a SAHM I've found it much easier. My house is cleaner my food is healthier...I have way more time to tend to everything.
So what makes it harder?
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HindaRochel
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 11:54 am
I found it harder.
Much depends on ones life. I prefer to work from home, but with young kids at home I found it harder then I do to go to work now. I'm not sure I can explain. Maybe it depends on the kids, where one is living, if there are other SAHMs about, what one has access to, vs. job, commute, office politics, degree of independence, co-workers etc. etc. etc.
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Mirabelle
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 11:58 am
I've been both and also done the work at home thing...while I certainly can get more for the family done when I am at home, I don't really like the social isolation that I experienced of being home all day, but I guess if I was in a different community it may have been different.
I literally just went back to FULL FULL time work in an office a few weeks ago and am finding that while I do enjoy the intellectual stimulation of being in the work place, I do miss my kiddies a lot.
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Mrs.K
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:00 pm
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I've worked out of the house and I currently work 2 full time jobs from home and as crazy as my schedule is, I still find it easier then being out of the house. Just being home, even with a strict work schedule, makes my time more flexible then if I was at an office. I'm home with one of the kids are sick, I can quickly throw in supper, it's a whole different ball game.
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curlgirl
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:07 pm
These threads never end well 
I think the assumption is always that we working mothers have full-time household help (I have none).
And someone to run our errands and do our shopping.
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Tamiri
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:09 pm
| curlgirl wrote: | These threads never end well
I think the assumption is always that we working mothers have full-time household help (I have none).
And someone to run our errands and do our shopping. | You forgot: also no children underfoot, regular mani-pedis and coffee klatch meetings daily.
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Mirabelle
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:11 pm
| Tamiri wrote: | | curlgirl wrote: | These threads never end well
I think the assumption is always that we working mothers have full-time household help (I have none).
And someone to run our errands and do our shopping. | You forgot: also no children underfoot, regular mani-pedis and coffee klatch meetings daily. |
HA! I currently have NO HELP and DH has had to do a lot of travelling for work this summer...meaning I spend my "lunch break" at either Walmart or the Grocery store.
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kitov
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:15 pm
I think it is pretty much equal, with personal experiences at each end of the spectrum. Soem SAHM have it murder, some have it a rowing merrily down the stream likd Some working moms have it h&ll, some hve a wonderful ride.
So it is quite personal, I guess, with every mother having her own set of challenges b'oilem hazeh.
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Tamiri
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:18 pm
I think that when you have young kids, being a working mother is harder UNLESS you make enough to be able to pay for (a) excellent and abundant child care (b) excellent and abundant household and yard help (c) excellent and high quality vacations (d) a live-in chef who also does dishes.
Otherwise, the juggling act is beyond the scope of my comprehension. I work 5 hours/day (out of the house for a minimum of ~6 hours/day) and I so miss those long, lazy hours of being home...
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Mama Bear
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:22 pm
it's not harder. it's jsut a lot more physical work and tiring. also the monotony and tediousness of it can wear one down. but it's not harder.
it also depends how much housework/cooking you do as a result of working and how much household help you have. if you come home to a clean home at 5 pm then working is easier. if you come home to the mess you left at 9 am and still need to do what the typicsal SAHM does in 8 hours, then its way harder.
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curlgirl
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:24 pm
| Tamiri wrote: | | curlgirl wrote: | These threads never end well
I think the assumption is always that we working mothers have full-time household help (I have none).
And someone to run our errands and do our shopping. | You forgot: also no children underfoot, regular mani-pedis and coffee klatch meetings daily. |
Right, some ppl seem to think we have all this time outside work and without our kids. They don't realize that (for some of us) every minute outside work we have our kids to juggle together with everything else.
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mamommommy
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:27 pm
I think it really depends on the mother, the kids, the kind of work that you do, etc... I spent a number of years as a SAHM, and I definitely think that it was harder than working out of the house, which is what I do now.
Just to list a few reasons why I think many people feel that way:
1) It's much easier to have a daily schedule. When things must get done within their allotted times, it makes for a much more organized day.
2) Most adults crave, and thrive on, adult interaction throughout the day.
3) While being a SAHM mom is a very worthwhile job, you get almost no gratitude for the work that you do. Working mothers often receive praise or gratitude from bosses, co-workers, clients, or at the very least receive a weekly paycheck which is a tangible reward for their daily efforts.
4) Variety is the spice of life. Although both SAHM and working mothers are both working 24/7, there is a lot to be said for "getting out of the house" and doing something different with part of your day.
5) Society no longer fully appreciates the role of a SAHM. You know how hard you're working, and yet you still get almost NO respect.
6) Although people may think it's easier to keep your house clean/neat when you are a SAHM, many women find the opposite. Since you are living in your house all day with your children, the mess is constant all day.
7) There's never time without the kids. Running errands, meeting friends, even going to bathroom is all done with your kids around. Everything takes longer and is infinitely more difficult. You never get a lunch, coffee, or even a bathroom break.
8 ) You are judged more harshly. You are expected to volunteer more, and are the go-to person for favors, to babysit others' kids. Your house should be cleaner, your kids better behaved, and your meals more lavish, all because you have "more time".
I can probably list just as many reasons why some women think that being a working mom is harder, but since this post was asking about SAHM's....
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ewa-jo
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:46 pm
| mamommommy wrote: | I think it really depends on the mother, the kids, the kind of work that you do, etc... I spent a number of years as a SAHM, and I definitely think that it was harder than working out of the house, which is what I do now.
Just to list a few reasons why I think many people feel that way:
1) It's much easier to have a daily schedule. When things must get done within their allotted times, it makes for a much more organized day.
2) Most adults crave, and thrive on, adult interaction throughout the day.
3) While being a SAHM mom is a very worthwhile job, you get almost no gratitude for the work that you do. Working mothers often receive praise or gratitude from bosses, co-workers, clients, or at the very least receive a weekly paycheck which is a tangible reward for their daily efforts.
4) Variety is the spice of life. Although both SAHM and working mothers are both working 24/7, there is a lot to be said for "getting out of the house" and doing something different with part of your day.
5) Society no longer fully appreciates the role of a SAHM. You know how hard you're working, and yet you still get almost NO respect.
6) Although people may think it's easier to keep your house clean/neat when you are a SAHM, many women find the opposite. Since you are living in your house all day with your children, the mess is constant all day.
7) There's never time without the kids. Running errands, meeting friends, even going to bathroom is all done with your kids around. Everything takes longer and is infinitely more difficult. You never get a lunch, coffee, or even a bathroom break.
8 ) You are judged more harshly. You are expected to volunteer more, and are the go-to person for favors, to babysit others' kids. Your house should be cleaner, your kids better behaved, and your meals more lavish, all because you have "more time".
I can probably list just as many reasons why some women think that being a working mom is harder, but since this post was asking about SAHM's.... |
All these reasons above. Also, there's the thing about not getting paid! Many people work tedious boring jobs with a smile on their faces because they are counting their hours and thinking about what their next paycheck is going to look like. Also, working moms get Shabbos/chagim/civic holidays/vacation days off. Being a SAHM is 24/7/365.
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curlgirl
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:51 pm
| ewa-jo wrote: | | All these reasons above. Also, there's the thing about not getting paid! Many people work tedious boring jobs with a smile on their faces because they are counting their hours and thinking about what their next paycheck is going to look like. Also, working moms get Shabbos/chagim/civic holidays/vacation days off. Being a SAHM is 24/7/365. |
Things like this are what make me crazy.
What do you mean?!
We make shabbos AFTER WORK all cooking cleaning everything then take care of our kids just like everyone else!!
And all my vacation days go on my kids' vacation and sick days.
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Inspired
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 12:56 pm
| mamommommy wrote: | I think it really depends on the mother, the kids, the kind of work that you do, etc... I spent a number of years as a SAHM, and I definitely think that it was harder than working out of the house, which is what I do now.
...............
I can probably list just as many reasons why some women think that being a working mom is harder, but since this post was asking about SAHM's.... | 
I have been a WOHM and for me, in that situation it was easier. Not by much, but a little. At work what was expected of me was clear, I didn't have to deal with so many unexpected disasters as I do as a SAHM. My kids were in day care while I was gone. Of course back then I was only juggling 2 kids in a very small apartment.
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crbc
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 1:02 pm
| curlgirl wrote: | | ewa-jo wrote: | | All these reasons above. Also, there's the thing about not getting paid! Many people work tedious boring jobs with a smile on their faces because they are counting their hours and thinking about what their next paycheck is going to look like. Also, working moms get Shabbos/chagim/civic holidays/vacation days off. Being a SAHM is 24/7/365. |
Things like this are what make me crazy.
What do you mean?!
We make shabbos AFTER WORK all cooking cleaning everything then take care of our kids just like everyone else!!
And all my vacation days go on my kids' vacation and sick days. |
I agree 100 %!!! What vacation? How do my and SAHM's Shabbosim/Yomim Tovim differ (except I come home with sounds of Shabbos siren)?
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kitov
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 1:32 pm
| curlgirl wrote: | | ewa-jo wrote: | | All these reasons above. Also, there's the thing about not getting paid! Many people work tedious boring jobs with a smile on their faces because they are counting their hours and thinking about what their next paycheck is going to look like. Also, working moms get Shabbos/chagim/civic holidays/vacation days off. Being a SAHM is 24/7/365. |
Things like this are what make me crazy.
What do you mean?!
We make shabbos AFTER WORK all cooking cleaning everything then take care of our kids just like everyone else!!
And all my vacation days go on my kids' vacation and sick days. |
SAHM moms have only one job, right? That is, a homemaker.
Working moms have two jobs, their "job", and being a homemaker too.
For a SAHM, there are no hours or leave of the job, yoy are in it 24/7. A working mom leaves her offie to take on her "other" job.
So SAHM always feel like working moms get "off" and "vacation" from their "jobs" on Shabbos and Yom Tov.
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intrigued
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 1:35 pm
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How could working be easier? You work and have to take care of the house so you have way less time. I am a SAHM and think I have the easier end and am glad I am able to be as I have no idea how I would manage to juggle both. I would love to find work to do at home though.
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curlgirl
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 1:35 pm
| kitov wrote: | | curlgirl wrote: | | ewa-jo wrote: | | All these reasons above. Also, there's the thing about not getting paid! Many people work tedious boring jobs with a smile on their faces because they are counting their hours and thinking about what their next paycheck is going to look like. Also, working moms get Shabbos/chagim/civic holidays/vacation days off. Being a SAHM is 24/7/365. |
Things like this are what make me crazy.
What do you mean?!
We make shabbos AFTER WORK all cooking cleaning everything then take care of our kids just like everyone else!!
And all my vacation days go on my kids' vacation and sick days. |
SAHM moms have only one job, right? That is, a homemaker.
Working moms have two jobs, their "job", and being a homemaker too.
For a SAHM, there are no hours or leave of the job, yoy are in it 24/7. A working mom leaves her offie to take on her "other" job.
So SAHM always feel like working moms get "off" and "vacation" from their "jobs" on Shabbos and Yom Tov. |
You realize this makes no sense, right?
So in your terminology, a working mother is at her "other" (more important) job on shabbos/ chag.
She's still not on vacation.
Just imagine that 9 waking hours of every weekday of your life have just been taken away from you. How does that feel?
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small bean
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Sun, Jul 17 2011, 1:36 pm
I think it is harder to be a sahm. I've been working full time until march of this year. Now I work from home, and I find it much harder to be on call mommy all the time. I never leave my mommy role and I'm finding it hard although I love it.
I found it easier to leave mommy role and professional role then to always be the same thing... I guess were all different.
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