How far will we go in our dieting? - Eating Disorders

lucy

Wed, Mar 30 2005, 11:36 pm

I don't want to get into a thread about Terri Schiavo, but when hearing her story (I don't know if this is correct information) Of basically what caused her to go into a comatose state ( I heard that she always battled her weight, then went on a crazy diet where she deprived her body of sufficient potassium which thus made her collapse).

So my question is HOW FAR DO WE GO TO REACH A WEIGHT THAT WE A HAPPY WITH. Not necessarily a normal weight, but one that we are happy with!?

Last edited by lucy on Thu, Mar 31 2005, 9:19 pm; edited 1 time in total

chochma73

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 12:02 am

what kind of weight will you be happy with? a supermodel body? I know someone personally who was heavy, she decided to do something about it and after becoming bulimic she became a skeleton c''v. she looked so bad, b"h she became better and put on more weight. Now she still complains she looks fat but at least she is and looks healthy.

as with all things in life no extreme is good. To lose 20 pounds so you feel better about yourself (and look better) is one thing but to go on a crazy diet where you deprive yourself of essential nutrients is not good.

Motek

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 9:16 am

speaking of mishpacha mag's series - I was perturbed that they had it on the cover for any child to see when they walk into the grocery store and see it on the counter

to have it as an article inside the magazine is one thing, but to see it blaring from the cover is another story

this is the cover (black background, white letters):

Quote:

Anorexia.
Bulimia.
"Dieting."

There are MANY names for eating disorders, but only TWO possible outcomes: Life or death.

MISHPACHA explores the ISSUES,
the TREATMENTS,
and how YOU can
help your child, sibling,
student or friend choose life.

would you mind if your child, boy or girl, casually came across this cover?

I also strongly object to the first article's intro referring to it as an epidemic. That two girls died in the frum community in the past three months is tragic, but an epidemic?!

then what should we call the horror in which babies, children, teens, young adults, etc. are dying, seemingly in droves, from yene machala (cancer)?

I pointed this out to my husband who said, let them call it a "disturbing trend" but an epidemic? Confused

1stimer

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 9:58 am

1. I wouldn't mind if my kid saw it, why should I?

2. epidemic is probably an exaggeration, but kudos to mishpacha for making the public aware that anorexia etc. is an illness not just a craze or a diet. The tragedy about these girls dying is that there is so much we can do to prevent such deaths.

ForeverYoung
Guest

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 10:23 am

Quote:

no I wouldn't mind.
Let them see from an independent source that diet is not everything & can even be fatal

And it is wpidemic.
Every girl and woman is on a diet.
People do not have a concept of healthy life style & taking proper care of themselves.
All u do is diet!!!

This is abnormal!

And the dieters get younger & younger, which is plain scary, b/c children NEED a sertain amount of fat to sacilitate growth spurts and proper brain developement

Motek

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 10:34 am

1stimer wrote:

1. I wouldn't mind if my kid saw it, why should I?

my feeling is that exposure to the existence of assorted psychiatric illnesses is not appropriate for children

I see no benefit in their knowing about them, rather I see it being detrimental. It's scary and it exposes them to the abnormal. Particularly in the area of eating, which we must do several times a day, I think it's unhealthy for children to be conscious of this entire subject, including that of dieting!

eating should be something we do to sustain ourselves, to celebrate Shabbos etc. not an "ISSUE"

implanting all sorts of other associations with food is educationally unsound in my opinion

especially when the articles are scaremongering, and it is NOT an epidemic (again, if this is an epidemic, what do you call deaths to cancer?)

although Mishpacha magazine has many wonderful articles and is a source of inspiration on a weekly basis, I am not at all happy with their "issue of the week"

week after week they present another problem situation and it's not even healthy for the adults to read this, week in and week out

and they tend to present the latest psyco-craze as the "gospel" and I don't think this benefits the readers

my opinion Smile

ForeverYoung
Guest

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 10:53 am

Quote:

implanting all sorts of other associations with food is educationally unsound in my opinion

as soon as you will get all the women to stop talking about their weight & diets in front of the kids, you will have reached your ideal

Motek

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 11:00 am

my home is my haven

I am mistress of my home. I can choose the subject matter being discussed and the magazines I bring in.

I agree with you that it's unfortunate that other people have a bad influence on their own and others' children. We have to do what we can to shelter our children.

I am disappointed that I have to censor a fine publication like Mishpacha though. Confused

ForeverYoung
Guest

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 11:07 am

Quote:

my home is my haven <...> We have to do what we can to shelter our children.

so as long as your kids never come out of your home, they're just fine

Quote:

I am disappointed that I have to censor a fine publication like Mishpacha though.

u don't

and I'm sure they have knowledgeble people on staff

not everybody thinks it's such a bad thing to put it on the cover -it's a GOOD thing, I think. Bring awareness that food can hurt if misshandled.

they should teach it in schools!

Motek

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 11:14 am

ForeverYoung wrote:

so as long as your kids never come out of your home, they're just fine

I see we have very different approaches to chinuch.

My approach is that children need to be fortified with that which is healthy and true and good and be as underexposed as possible to that which is unhealthy, false and bad. And when undesirable things come up, to discuss them and present them in a proper light.

Quote:

u don't, as not everybody thinks it's such a bad thing to put it on the cover -it's a GOOD thing, I think.

I don't HAVE to. I CHOOSE to. I'm not everybody.

Quote:

Bring awareness that food can hurt if misshandled.

parents used to teach that rule about sharp implements and fire

for children who weren't aware that food could be regarded in such a sick way, it gives them ideas they never entertained on their own, and THIS is where I think the problem lies

Quote:

they should teach it in schools!

possibly to girls, not boy, and of a certain age, with parental permission only

though since when is it the schools job to teach good mental health and eating habits? is that part of the curriculum? should it be?

I'll start a new thread on this Smile

ForeverYoung
Guest

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 11:43 am

Quote:

My approach is that children need to be fortified with that which is healthy and true and good and be as underexposed as possible to that which is unhealthy, false and bad. And when undesirable things come up, to discuss them and present them in a proper light.

fine with me

so if they see that cover you'll talk it over with them.

And boys need to be aware of what and how food affects them not less than girls

rydys

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 12:15 pm

Quote:

it is NOT an epidemic (again, if this is an epidemic, what do you call deaths to cancer?)

While you are right that there are many more deaths from cancer, eating disorders are far more widespread than you think, especially in the frum community. I have seen many girls with severe disorders who do not look emaciated, so no one knows about their struggles. Even worse, since they are not terrible looking, their parents often refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem and refuse to get them the counseling that they need.

I am glad to hear that Mishpacha is doing a series on eating disorders. I think it is high time that the frum community stops hiding its head in the sand and recognizes mental illness for what it is--an illness, so we can remove the stigma and get people the help they need.

In halacha, there is no difference bet. mental illness and physical illness, so why should there be in our lives?

rydys

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 12:23 pm

Quote:

for children who weren't aware that food could be regarded in such a sick way, it gives them ideas they never entertained on their own, and THIS is where I think the problem lies

I've read several articles by women who are battling eating disorders. The common theme to these is that it took a long time for them to seek help bec. they thought they were the only ones with these behaviors. It often was only after they accidentally met someone else with the same problem that they sought help.

In one case, the girl found her best friend in college dead in her dorm room. When she went to the funeral she found out that the girl had anorexia--and, in fact, they met through their passion for running. The girl who lived was shocked bec. she had never heard of anorexia and thought that her inability to bring herself to eat was a personal problem. She was quite embarrassed about it so never mentioned it to anyone. She snuck around and always did what little eating she did in private, then told people she had already eaten. This woman actually recognized that she was too thin, but was unable to help herself. After her friend died, she realized the potential consequences, and checked herself into a hospital.

deedee

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 12:27 pm

Quote:

I think it's unhealthy for children to be conscious of this entire subject, including that of dieting!

I agree but since its "going around" maybe its better they hear about it from a parent that can control how the information is given.
my 11 yr old step daughter told us her classmates (in a lubav yeshiva) tease each other using the words bulimic and anorexic! shock

I was at a resturant when a lady and her daughter (around 8 ) were ordering. the daughter wanted french fries and the mom said no ur on a diet!!!!! shock

she wasnt over weight and even if she was I cant believe a mom would say that to an 8 yr old!

ForeverYoung
Guest

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 12:42 pm

Quote:

tease each other using the words bulimic and anorexic!

I was at a resturant when a lady and her daughter (around 8 ) were ordering. the daughter wanted french fries and the mom said no ur on a diet!!!!!

motheroftwo

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 1:08 pm

Quote:

I think it is high time that the frum community stops hiding its head in the sand and recognizes mental illness for what it is--an illness, so we can remove the stigma and get people the help they need.

I so agree with this. Our frum community will always rather ignore a problem than to address it publicly so that people may be helped. I think recently things have gotten better. The Jewish Press addresses many issues and Kol Hakovod to Mishpacha for addressing eating disorders.
It is an ILLNESS! We need to help these kids just like we would with any other illness. Many kids have died, so how many more are we going to let die if we don't address these problems.
Motek you don't want your kids exposed to this but what if even one life was saved because a girl read the article and got herself apropriate help! Don't you think it's worth it????
I don't see how your kids will be harmed from reading this. If anything it will keep them away from harm as it will warn them to have healthy eating habits.

Tefila

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 1:12 pm

Quote:

I pointed this out to my husband who said, let them call it a "disturbing trend" but an epidemic?

It's a very disturbing trend maybe not quite an epidemic yes motek. But atleast it's something that we can have control over as opposed to yena machle - cancer in which we can't Sad

As far as on the cover of mishpacha maybe thats what we need to shock and bring reality to the frum world.
I wouldn't be as worried w/h boys since if anything most boys want that bit of extra weight muscle Rolling Eyes

But girls are being affected by the media whereever they look beauty is thin!!!
My nieces who are slim. One's 15 and ones 10yrs want to have a size 2 waist coz of influences in the schools shock

etc.

Unless these girls are shocked into reality ( incl adults and some parents) no amount of parental advice will help!!!

timeout

Thu, Mar 31 2005, 5:20 pm

[that we can have control over ]

From personal very close family experiance I can tell you that anorexia and bulemia cannot unless helped by a professional be controlled and even then u will struggle for the rest of your life with the urge to slim down if u gain some weight!

This is a disease! [/quote]