Am I the only one doing housework till 10:30 or 11pm?

curlyhead

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 7:41 am

BeershevaBubby

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 8:04 am

I would start slowly training your kids to go to bed earlier. For 4 or 5 nights, put them to bed by 8:50. Then subtract 10 minutes every 5 days or so until they go to bed at a more manageable time (how old are they)?

Why can't you get some stuff done when the kids are awake? I do laundry whenever I can (washing, hanging, folding), dishes while the kids are running around... the only thing I can't do is clean the salon. But my boys are 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 and part of our bedtime routine is them 'helping me' put away their toys, so it helps a lot.

I also find when I make a to-do list, it helps TREMENDOUSLY. I don't put more than 5 things on the list and my goal is to make sure 3 things get done.

Last edited by BeershevaBubby on Sun, Oct 30 2011, 8:42 am; edited 1 time in total

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 8:32 am

curlyhead wrote:

I am not a night person. My kids are not sleeping till 9pm. I do not start till 9 then it takes me around 1 1/2 hours to throw a load into the washing machine, clean the kitchen, wash the dishes, makes kids and DH lunches, Put the clothing into the dryer, prepare the kids clothing for the next day. If I have time I also fold a load or two of laundry. I also find when I am tired everything takes double as long. My kids are not sleeping till 9pm. I do not start till 9 then it takes me around 1 1/2 hours to throw a load into the washing machine, clean the kitchen, wash the dishes, makes kids and DH lunches, Put the clothing into the dryer, prepare the kids clothing for the next day. If I am not too tired I also fold a load or two of laundry. I also find when I am tired everything takes double as long.

I agree with yeshasettler. Why cant you do some of those things while your children are awake? How old are your children? My daughter "helps" with the dishes and then goes to play. We also do the clean up of toys before bedtime so it does not become ema or aba's job, but her, learning to put things away.
Laundry, many times, I put a load in before the day gets started and even after my daughter comes home, laundry is done whenever.
You should really try to do some of these things while your children are awake.

buzz

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 8:54 am

What happened to the option before 8???????????

My three kids aged 1, 2.5 and 4 are in bed, almost always asleep by 6.15 and dinner for me and hubby plus all end of night housework is finished easily by 7.30, some nights earlier!

I work hard between 4 and 6 and before the kids come home to do as many chores as possible so there really is only the after dinner stuff to clean up with the occasional wash to hang.
I think it does help we don't have a dryer so washing never piles up as we hang and then fold and put away in the morning to make room for the next wash whenever that is.
I make the lunches with my kids, they love helping me, toys are ALWAYS packed away before dinner, or bedtime.

I run my house completely by routine and it rarely changes unless holiday time etc when I am a bit more relaxed..

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 9:03 am

Raisin wrote:

buzz, when your kids are older it may be harder to get them in bed by 6pm.

I also do stuff when the kids are awake. I try and have supper early so we can clean up early.

But as children get older and older, it also gets easier and easier to do things in the house when they are awake, meaning, once kids are old enough to truly fend for themselves, you can do any and all your housework whenever you want.

BeershevaBubby

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 9:07 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Raisin wrote:

buzz, when your kids are older it may be harder to get them in bed by 6pm.

I also do stuff when the kids are awake. I try and have supper early so we can clean up early.

And/or start a chore chart for the kids and have them help.

Both my mother and I follow the philosophy of "I am not the maid".

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 9:17 am

YESHASettler wrote:

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Raisin wrote:

buzz, when your kids are older it may be harder to get them in bed by 6pm.

I also do stuff when the kids are awake. I try and have supper early so we can clean up early.

And/or start a chore chart for the kids and have them help.

Both my mother and I follow the philosophy of "I am not the maid".

Love it

and same here. Things that everyone can do, meaning children and husband, means everyone, not just the wife.
My husband grew up in south africa, with two maids at home. When something does not get done that needs to and I cant, I always tell my husband "martha (thats one of the maids) does not live here, but you do". Smile

chocolate chips

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 10:35 am

I usually try to have everything done by 9 the latest (when dh goes to maariv) but often there are som last minute things that I do after/when he comes home.
I like to have everything done straight after supper tis way we can relax a bit before shul and when he is out I have some me-time and I do some work (I have a small job from home)

ora_43

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 11:07 am

Assuming the questions "why not earlier" and "why not get the kids involved" are serious - There are situations where those options are of limited help.

If someone is working full time, they are unlikely to be able to use morning or afternoon hours for housework, and will probably prefer to spend the time between dinner and bed with their children. Even if some work (eg. cooking dinner, cleaning the living room) does get done in that time, there will be plenty left for after bedtime as well (eg. all the things the OP mentioned).

Young children can only do so much. Even little kids can put away their own toys - but that's not the kind of thing the OP was talking about. A 3-year-old can put away the lego but they shouldn't be expected to wash their own dishes, cook their own food or do their own laundry each day - leaving women with young kids with, again, plenty left to do after bedtime.

I'm not trying to put down the suggestions given so far, I just don't want the OP to feel bad if she's working full time and has little kids, like, "why can other people get it done by 8 and not me."

curlyhead

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 4:13 pm

OP HERE!
Ii have older kids through to a baby. My oldest does an extra curricular activity till 8pm a couple nights a week. I do not want to stop it as it is a torah program. And I think 10 hours of sleep is enough for him. So getting them to sleep before 9 is not much of an option. I can not make lunches or cleanup dinner before the kids come home from school. When they are home I am busy making dinner, feeding them, holding /feeding the baby, helping kids with homework, giving kids attention (as they have so much to tell me after not seeing me a whole day), and baths, preparing for bed. Sometimes I start making lunches when they are still up. Sometimes I also need down time for myself during this time if I had a very busy day. I do work part time. I try to spend 1-2 hours in the day cleaning up the house but most of what I do after bedtime could not be done during the day.

When I only had 2 or 3 kids I found it a lot easier to get things done with them around.
I should get the kids to help makes lunches and clear the table but there is a limit how much you could ask kids to do. I am not going to ask them to do a load of laundry or wash the dishes

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 4:18 pm

curlyhead wrote:

why would you think that kids cant wash the dishes or do laundry? where do you think that they will learn to do those things? I know that my parents started teaching us those things as soon as they thought us able to do them (could have been 8 or 10 years old)

BinahYeteirah

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 5:16 pm

I am usually doing housework and other duties until 1 am every night. I usually don't wake up until around 8 am most days, so I am probably on a bit of a later schedule than most people. I am trying to transition to an earlier schedule so I can get out of the house early to attend exercise classes. We will see how it goes. Regardless, I find I need at least a couple hours after my kids are in bed to get everything done. My oldest likes to stay up until 11, although we generally have her go to bed by 10.

chocolate moose

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 6:54 pm

In our house, the rule was that a kid could stay up later (as age-appropriate of course) al menaas they didn't need or require supervision - no asking for things or requiring help. You could read quietly in your room, etc.

10 or 11 IMO is late to be up and running around, especially if you get up early.

bigbird

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 7:43 pm

curlyhead wrote:

I am not a night person.

Me too. That's why I prefer to go to bed earlier (9.30) and get up at 5.30 am to do the lunches, prepare dinner (even though I work from home I'd rather not take time off to cook) and do laundry. Not the most exciting thing to wake up for but at night I'm finished and it won't get done otherwise.

I also wash dishes and clean up from dinner before the kids are in bed (admittedly it's earlier than 9 b/c they're younger) and try to get them to help clean up with the toys (it doesn't always work) but I don't stress too much about the toys. If they don't get done, so be it but if dishes aren't washed, that's more problematic Wink

Raisin

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 8:01 pm

I used to make all my kids lunches but now I make my 9 and older kids do their own. I just make the younger kids, and ensure there is bread etc available. I do it the morning before school.

I also start putting my younger kids to bed at about 7-7:30. Once I have finished that I tell my older kids to go to bed. Bh they can put themselves to bed so it's just a matter of telling them.

Sometimes I tell them they can stay up and help or go to bed. Twisted Evil

Mama Bear

Sun, Oct 30 2011, 8:57 pm

When my sister was 7 and I was 9 we had nightly jobs. sun, tues and thurs I had to clear away the dining room table and the chairs; she had to clear away the couch and the floor. On mon & wed we switched.

When we got older - we were 9 and 11 - I had to do the kitchen on Sun, Tues & thurs which included dishes, sweeping floor, and clearing off table. My sister's job was to clean up the playroom - put away all the toys, sweep up. on mon & Wed,we switched jobs.

Meantime my mother put the little kids to bed. When I got even older, I bathed the little ones sometimes, which was more fun than washing dishes!

we loved our jobs. when we were younger we got rewarded for our jobs, later we did it as a household duty.