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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
ewa-jo
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 Wed, Feb 29 2012, 6:05 am
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I would say "I hope so" and smile.
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sequoia
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Wed, Feb 29 2012, 6:06 am
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I always reply "not really."
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chani8
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Wed, Feb 29 2012, 8:55 am
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How about, B"H, or thank G-d, or b'ezrat H, because intelligence is one of those things that you did very little to deserve. Just like beauty.
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imaima
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Wed, Feb 29 2012, 9:25 am
| chani8 wrote: | | How about, B"H, or thank G-d, or b'ezrat H, because intelligence is one of those things that you did very little to deserve. Just like beauty. |
It's a good idea.
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invisiblecircus
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Tue, Mar 06 2012, 5:16 am
I'd probably laugh and say "I don't know about that!" and then either change the subject entirely or divert it slightly by saying something like "I loved that school though..."
I also agree with everyone who said that comment is no way insulting.
They meant "that means you must be clever," not "You must have been clever back then, which is surprising because you don't seem clever now!"
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WriterMom
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Tue, Mar 06 2012, 8:52 am
I vote for just smiling and continuing the conversation.
The context is everything, of course, but to me it sounds like "oh, you're very tall, aren't you?" which I get a lot. On the one hand, it's bad manners to make personal remarks. On the other hand, it seems like just mindless chatter, definitely positive ("tall" can be ambiguous if the overtones are "weirdy tall" but "smart" is pretty unequivocally positive) but just a throwaway remark.
Being self-deprecating can work ("you'd think so, wouldn't you?") but that's a matter of personal taste.
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tsiggelle
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Tue, Mar 06 2012, 9:36 am
there are so many ways to understand the comment
another way to understand it is ' I didnt think you were clever, but you say you went to that school. ok, so then you must be clever'
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groovy1224
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Tue, Mar 06 2012, 10:34 am
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People say that to me when I tell them what I do. I just smile and say "Yeah, I work very hard." I feel like that response accomplishes a lot. This way you don't look falsely modest, but you also don't directly accept the compliment as true. And, you also point out that being in any good school or program is not just about the smarts, but about working hard. So it's not like you just have it coming to you.
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