So sad about the fire in Rehovot :(

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 9:36 pm

I am so upset and depressed today about that story of the mother in Rehovot who lost her husband and every one of her 5 precious children in a horrible fire. I know it should make me appreciate my life and my kids more, and it does in a way. But I hate to admit it but it just makes me so mad at G-d! Like how could he possibly do that to a mother? He just took away her whole life, her husband and her 5 precious babies, in one swoop. I can't even wrap my mind around the horribleness of it. In a way, it would have been more kind for Hashem to take her also, its harder for the survivors, she has to live for the rest of her life through this horrible tragedy. I just can't understand how an ever-giving, ever-loving G-d could do something so horrific. It makes me terrified for myself, for my own family. I'm very scared and upset and all kinds of sad, bad emotions over this story Sad

kenz

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 10:09 pm

I agree with you; I know everything is for the best, but all I can think of is how can this mother go on - I would want to jump out the window chas v'shalom. I had the same reaction when the Chatuel family was murdered. What that man was left to face every single day... Hashem should just bring each of them comfort and the geulah bimheirah biyameinu!

shalhevet

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 4:26 am

I was also so sad and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I asked my dh how someone in that situation could go on living, when she had been used to caring for her family for 11 years and now suddenly she has no home and no one needs her Sad

. What purpose would she feel there is to her life?

My dh (here comes the men are from Mars moment...) said iy"H she'll get married again and live again. Of course she'll never forget what she had, but iy"H she'll partly get over it and rebuild her life. And after that it's interesting someone mentioned David (?)Chatuel because he did, indeed, remarry and have children again. We should never say it would have been better that a Jew had died.

And about being angry at Hashem - I don't want to write kitrug here, but there was lots of negligence in that story, particularly about the state of the electricity in the apartment. And we have to do our hishtadlus too regarding safety.

HindaRochel

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 4:39 am

shalhevet wrote:

IM"H she will remarry and have more children, but that won't dissolve her pain it will only bring her another joy. I do hope she is able to recover, marry, and move on, while of course never forgetting her loss, at least living on.

shalhevet

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 4:42 am

HindaRochel wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

Of course she will never forget it. I just couldn't even think about that, and nor could the OP (at this stage, so close to the tragedy), so I thought it was interesting men think differently and maybe it's a slight amount of nechama for us - I say for us, because obviously it wouldn't be any kind of nechama for someone to say it to her at this stage.

DrMom

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 4:43 am

shalhevet wrote:

I feel the same way as you do when I hear the story of Iov.

shalhevet

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 4:44 am

DrMom wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

I feel the same way as you do when I hear the story of Iov.

You are right - it is like the story of Iyov. Unfortunately, some people have lives like Iyov did. Sad

And somehow we have to accept that it is part of Hashem's plan.

Raisin

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 5:23 am

think of all the holocaust survivors who suffered the loss of their entire families (parents, siblings, spouses and chiildren) and went on to rebuild their lives.

But, yes, its a good idea to review fire safety issues in our houses, along with the pesach cleaning. (and please be careful with that bedikas chamets candle! I have heard of tragic events from that too)

grace413

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 5:30 am

It's very tragic. I can't even imagine. I was slightly comforted about the Sandler family tragedy when I learned that she at least had one child left.

The men are from Mars issue is that they see that widowers/divorced men tend to get married quickly, but many widows/divorced women never get married again.

As Shal said, we just have to accept that it's part of Hashem's plan - and a reminder to us that we do't get the zchus of understanding eveything.

sarahd

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 5:38 am

Raisin wrote:

think of all the holocaust survivors who suffered the loss of their entire families (parents, siblings, spouses and chiildren) and went on to rebuild their lives.

I often think of that when I hear about these tragedies, but you know, "tzaros rabim chatzi nechama." When everyone around a person has also lost everything, then everyone understands and can feel for each other. They are not alone in their pain, which must count for something. Shelo naida.

StrongIma

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 6:00 am

the hardest part of this story to me was the fact that her husband died trying to save the children - like, if he wasn't going to be successful anyhow, why did he also need to perish? or, why only him?

it's doubly hard for her than Mrs. Sandler since she has to live with so much guilt - justified and not.

chocolate chips

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 6:30 am

All these type of stories spook me out. I get so scared and start imagining what I would do in such situations, I wouldn't cope!

Now that I have my own child it hurts me more that she went through so much to have 5 beautiful kids and now iyh she will build herself up again but she has to start all over again! Sad

cinnamon

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 7:10 am

I heard someone saying on the radio that it reminds her of the mitva of shiluach haken.

The torah tells us to send away the mother bird and take the eggs. (and AFAIK this is a mitzva even if you don't need/use the eggs)
It might seem cruel to us to take away the eggs but infact it is rachmanus.
That is what Hashem did- he sent away the mother and took her children and though it seems like cruelty to us we must belive that in fact it was rachmanus.

Though it is really really hard to belive it... Sad

Rubber Ducky

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 8:54 am

From the news article on Vos Iz Neias, quoting a family member:

Quote:

"We lost beautiful flowers and a pure father. I don’t know how she will get through this but we are believers, the sons of believer and I hope that Hakadosh Baruch Hu will help her.”

Amen.

Last edited by Rubber Ducky on Wed, Mar 28 2012, 4:17 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 2:10 pm

shalhevet wrote:

OP here- you are right that its never good to say that someone should have died. I was just projecting how she must feel, like if she lost her husband and children, in a way it would be some comfort if she could still be with them in shamayim and not have to suffer the unbearable pain for the rest of her life, but who am I to judge Hashem's ways. I hope that she does find the strength to move on and remarry and have kids but wow, I can't even imagine how much strength that would take. My heart is crying for her. Of all the horrible, sad, tragic stories I have heard lately, this one really tops them all because she doesn't even have her husband or one surviving child.

Apple pie

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 4:48 pm

Raisin wrote:

But, yes, its a good idea to review fire safety issues in our houses, along with the pesach cleaning. (and please be careful with that bedikas chamets candle! I have heard of tragic events from that too)

We should be very careful also around biur chametz, burning of the Chametz.
I know of a child who suffered very severe burns....

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Mar 28 2012, 5:00 pm

StrongIma wrote:

You don't think there would be guilt if no one tried to save them and they both survived?