yikes! My kids are playing 'divorce' with their Lego!

amother

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 8:45 am

What has this world come to that 2nd graders are using divorce scenerios in their pretend play??? I dont even think I knew what it was that young. I know my kids are surrounded by kids whose parents are divorced, it just breaks my heart.

morahtikvah

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 10:05 am

Don't worry about it. Kids play to think. So if they know about divorce and especially if they are troubled/scared by the idea they will play about it.

Sometimes my kids play about having "dead parents." I assume because it is a very scary idea for them. I hate it but never interfere with it.

amother

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 3:32 pm

auntie_em wrote:

Are you the same amother who posted about their friends divorce keeping you up all night?

No I'm not the same imamother. M kids have alot of classmates from divorced homes...neighbors, friends..the list goes on and on Sad

Isramom8

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 4:15 pm

Kids play out whatever they see and hear. It's a healthy, natural process. When my dd's friend's parents divorced, she invented a game (that she played with my daughter) where Ima and Abba each go to their own houses on separate sides of the garden. It helped her process the situation. I guess my child got an "education", but that's not bad.

When another daughter heard about hangings of Jews in Spain, she acted it out with her dolls. She had lots of dolls standing around to watch the hanging. Eeewww.

My kids also had a dolly they said was dead. They colored her green, and always treated her as dead.

leah66

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 4:49 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

Exactly, that's how play therapy works. It helps kids process these ideas in a not-threatening manner, and it's an outlet to express their anxiety so that it should not overwhelm them.

For a while my kids were making stories about kids getting run over by a school bus, and now they act out kidnappings! Whenever one of their little dolls brake, they make a very detailed story about how it got injured. I don't like it, but it's better than nightmares.

chavamom

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 5:16 pm

I had my older kids in Israel in the 90's. They went through a period where they would act out bus bombings. They would pretend they were riding in a bus and a bomb would explode and they would fall in the floor and play dead. In gan. Kids act things out to deal with them. It's normal.

groisamomma

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 7:19 pm

chavamom wrote:

This is spooky for me.

morahtikvah

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 8:48 pm

groisamomma wrote:

chavamom wrote:

This is spooky for me.

It is spooky but it is also healthy behavior for the kids.

chavamom

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 9:17 pm

morahtikvah wrote:

groisamomma wrote:

chavamom wrote:

This is spooky for me.

It is spooky but it is also healthy behavior for the kids.

Yes, it was freaky to me as a parent. But the logical part of my brain new that this was a very scary thing in their life they were dealing with and this was their way of dealing with the fear and uncertainty.

leah66

Sun, Jun 17 2012, 9:19 pm

amother wrote:

These things would make me so scared!
Are you all saying that I shouldn't stop my kids from playing these things? It would really bother me...

You can explain to them that divorce IRL is no joke, but I wouldn't stop the games.

bnm

Mon, Jun 18 2012, 1:25 am

and how many pretend twin towers got lego airplanes bumped into them and thrown down?

I do remember going to observe a first grade classroom and the teacher had them chanting: 'if your selfish and you get and you get and you get you get a Get'

mimivan

Mon, Jun 18 2012, 1:37 am

It's all my fault...I take full responsibility for being a bad influence.

okay, I'm being a bit sarcastic..I'm sorry.

Kids use games to explore their fears. It could be that they are just as afraid that they are playing this, on some level, as you are. But kids do this. I remember from Kindergarten, this little boy would play polygamy and ask girls to go into his tent and say they were his wives. Nothing happened, but he explained his parents showed him a documentary about other cultures and it was interesting to him that there are guys in parts of the world who have several wives. Will this guy become a polygamist? Not likely...kids hear about certain things that confuse them and they work through the ideas via play.

Yes, talk to your kids about it. But don't stop the games, given certain parameters.

(actually, he wouldn't have needed to see a documentary...he could have gotten this idea from reading the Bible!)...

Leesah

Mon, Jun 18 2012, 7:33 am

bnm wrote:

m in Israel

Mon, Jun 18 2012, 7:57 am

amother wrote:

These things would make me so scared!
Are you all saying that I shouldn't stop my kids from playing these things? It would really bother me...

Stopping your kids from playing these things will not stop them from thinking about them. All it will do is scare them into feeling that certain topics are "taboo" -- a very dangerous message to send to your kids. Personally, I am very happy when I hear my kids acting act scary or unusual scenarios, because it gives me insight into their thoughts and concerns. A young child will not usually come over and say "hey, a bunch of my friends have divorced parents, and it is something I am trying to understand and figure out." But when you hear them play, you can make a note in your mind to gently bring up the subject at a different time (not while their playing or they'll become very self-conscious!), and give them the message that "you can always come talk to me about any topic that you find confusing, scary, or uncomfortable." I think that is one of the most important messages we can give our kids in today's world.

5S5Sr7z3

Mon, Jun 18 2012, 11:11 am

chavamom wrote:

morahtikvah wrote:

groisamomma wrote:

chavamom wrote:

This is spooky for me.

It is spooky but it is also healthy behavior for the kids.

It may be freaky for you, but it helps them process what's going on around them. There was once a school bus accident on my corner, for the next few days all they played with was matchbox cars having accidents. My son sets up a cemetery with his legos pretty often. My father is not alive anymore, and we took him to the cemetery a few times. It's how he deals with the concept of a dead grandparent. I say let them be.