Hakoras Hatov- Recognizing (And Acknowledging) the Good

Tefila

Thu, Apr 28 2005, 2:27 pm

What exactly does it mean to have Hakoras Hatov? Examples anyone?

Motek

Thu, Apr 28 2005, 2:44 pm

I am grateful that you are on this forum. Smile

amother

Thu, Apr 28 2005, 8:03 pm

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww LOL

Tefila

Thu, Apr 28 2005, 8:08 pm

Amother why r u on annon, Confused

I was going to Thank -You personally for agreeing, then that would be real hakoras Hatov don't u think Wink

Tefila

Fri, Apr 29 2005, 9:59 am

Ok now for a real Example. My husband does my shopping sometimes he gets everything on the list and sometimes substitutes w/h his version. So now I have tried not only to Thank him for doing the shopping but also for getting the right items (hm this could also be called Positive reinforcement no?). B/c even if theoretically he drives and so it's for him easier to get the shopping . It still is a major help and for this I'm Thank-ful!

Pearl

Tue, May 03 2005, 2:50 am

I thank my dh every single day for the amazing job he does! I think it's important to never take anyone or anything for granted.

Tefila

Tue, May 03 2005, 11:08 am

I think that sometimes b/c we don't have the hard life like our ancestors did. We tend to eigther expect things or take for granted so why bother thanking. But if we really appreciated what we have and it's Thanks To Hashem I think we would Thank more and not take anything for granted. So when my huband tells me when I went away for a convention for 3 days a couple yrs ago and left him all the kids. He told everyone incl me he will always appreciate me more. He never realized how truly hard I worked.

An interesting tidbit: Ever got your husband to try on u'r pointy heeled shoes ( no not literally) he never could, b/c a man would find it so hard to step into a womens place (even metaphorically).

meesi

Fri, May 06 2005, 8:21 am

I would like to express my gratitude to the wonderful women on this site who are helping me to learn more every day. I know how busy everyone is with their own lives, but several of you have taken the time to answer my questions, refer me to specific sources, and to offer words of encouragement. I am very grateful to all of you.

Todah Rabah and Good Shabbos!

Chana Smile

queen

Mon, May 09 2005, 12:00 pm

heard a great line last night- "it's not what you have, it's what you appreciate"

Tefila

Mon, May 09 2005, 1:04 pm

Queen great line Smile

proudmom

Mon, May 09 2005, 1:07 pm

Queen, I agree with you. It is something to think about.

1stimer

Sat, May 14 2005, 1:29 pm

I read an excellent chapter in Rabbi Frand's An Offer you can't refuse over shabbos.

Basically, he said that Hakaras Hatov transforms a taker into a giver. It's not for the person but for ourselves. It is the way we can become givers, whilst we have to take so much, from Hashem, from others etc. It helps us become outwards focused instead of inward-focused.

He gave a few inspirational stories. I'll give one now:

a nyer was in israel pizza shop and v. impatient so man in front said, go in front of me. He went in front and as he was walking down block, he heard an explosion, and he saw the Sabaro pizza shop had been bombed. He said the man in front saved my life I must go help him. So he stayed with him until his son came, gave his biz card and said if I can help call...

so son called, said father needs an op in boston, can you help? He said of course... so he was in boston at the beside on the morning of sep 11 instead of his office in the wtc.

supermom

Sun, May 15 2005, 3:07 am

ouch!! that gave me the chills did the man survive at the end?

1stimer

Sun, May 15 2005, 4:58 am

Yes, that's the amazing part, he was saved because he was doing hakaras hatov and helping the man out who had let him go first.

supermom

Sun, May 15 2005, 5:09 am

in some way the guy could be somewhat resentful towards the other guy that he let him go before him and look he did a mitzvah and the bomb explodes.

A woman and daughter from our yishuv was there that day they ate and left but as soon as they left the store the woman had to use the bathroom, so she went back in and asked to use the bathroom the lady at the desk asked to see her reciept fortantly she couldn't find where she put the reciept so they didn't let the woman use the bathroom. as the daughter and woman were at the door of the store the bomb went off and threw them to the other side of the street. When they realized what happened they picked themselves up and ran for their lives. they were unharmed.

Motek

Thu, May 19 2005, 3:02 pm

I am grateful to all the homeowner who spend hundreds of dollars on gorgeous spring flowers that I, the passerby, get to enjoy as much as the homeowners, and I don't pay a cent!

smile

Thu, May 19 2005, 3:57 pm

1stimer, I heard the same story but about 2 women ??
My husband is quite known about having hakoras hatov. By our chasene they all spoke about how grateful he is to everyone. And I must say it is true. Every single meal he thanks me for it. And sometimes he forgets so he calls me from work to say Thank you.

You know when I was reading this post it made me appreciate my husband even more. Sometimes you need a reminder of why you chose your husband or what good middos he has. It is very easy to forget about it and only think about the stuff which annoy you.
So thank you all for giving me this reminder. Very Happy

Tefila

Thu, May 19 2005, 7:10 pm

Quote:

I am grateful to all the homeowner who spend hundreds of dollars on gorgeous spring flowers that I, the passerby, get to enjoy as much as the homeowners, and I don't pay a cent!

Never thought about that one Motek Very Happy

Sunshine

Thu, May 19 2005, 7:18 pm

Motek wrote:

I am grateful to all the homeowner who spend hundreds of dollars on gorgeous spring flowers that I, the passerby, get to enjoy as much as the homeowners, and I don't pay a cent!

In addition to all the $ they spend it also takes a lot of time to replant every year and to water and maintain them! I am amaized that anyone that lives in cold climate could do this. If you live in nice weather then the energy sort of pays off, but if it is just for a few months out of a year?! It takes a lot of care.

Motek

Sun, May 22 2005, 9:00 am

“Thank You” – 10 Formulas To Master Gratitude

by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

1. Picture how great you will feel when you master gratitude.

We all want to live happy lives. After studying happiness for over thirty years, I have found that a key element in every person who is truly happy is: They are grateful for all that they can be grateful for. A grateful person is a joyful person.
People who are lacking happiness wonder about the missing ingredient.
When you master gratitude yourself, you will easily recognize that the missing ingredient was: Gratitude.

2. Here is a one-sentence formula for becoming a grateful person: Think, Speak, and Act like a grateful person does.

There is no mystery about how to become a person who has internalized the attribute of gratitude. Think gratefully. Speak gratefully. Act gratefully.
When you consistently do these three things, you are consistently grateful.
Even before this pattern has become consistent for you, every little bit of thinking, speaking, and acting this way makes you more grateful than if you wouldn’t have thought, spoken, or acted this way.

3. You will notice what you are looking for.

Someone who loves birds will notice them, when most people wouldn’t have seen them even though others would just pass them by without registering them. Someone who loves flowers notices them even though others would just pass them by without registering them. Someone who is looking for things to complain about will notice what he is looking for. And someone who hates litter will see the litter rather than seeing the birds and the flowers.
Consider it important to be grateful. Then you will notice more and more kind things that others do for you. And you will remember more kind things that others have done for you in the past. These will serve as reminders for you to do similar things for others.

4. View yourself as being a person who is grateful and fervently wants to keep upgrading his level of gratitude.

Your self-image creates you. Who are you? “I am a person who is full of gratitude for all that I can be grateful for.” When this is how you consider yourself, you will say and do more things that will be an expression of gratitude.

5. A question you can ask yourself any time you wish is, “What am I grateful for right now?”

How will it affect your life if you build up the habit of asking this question to yourself at least ten times a day? The only way that you can know for sure is to actually do it.
Someone once told me that he felt annoyed by his father’s habit of saying, “You know,” every few sentences. He spoke to his father about it and his father found it too difficult for him to eliminate the “You knows.” You know how it is, don’t you?

I suggested that each time he hears his father say, “You know,” he should immediately ask himself, “What am I grateful for?” Not only did he become more grateful to his father, he added much gratitude and happiness to his entire life. He even became grateful to his father for having this habit.