Keeping Imamother a safe environment for all members

freidasima

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 4:38 am

Thank you Yael.
Please remember ladies that there is very little privacy on the internet. As so many have written, if it is not something that you would be comfortable with appearing on the front page of the local paper, please think several times before posting or even writing it to anyone privately. Email can be accidently forwarded, posts can be accidently shared, and I am not even speaking about deliberately. Especially in open sections anyone can read, non members, men, bored bochurs etc. Please., for everyones sake be careful.

Share imamother recipies, ok?! But nothing else...

FiFi

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 5:44 am

I wonder how anyone could even recognise who a poster is

I am quite open with my information as I ahve nothing to hide basically I am thank g-d an open book but there are mothers whose very identity if revealed could cause actual danger to the mother her children and those around and involved with her

how long will it take for the frum community and their Rabbonim to wake up to the fact that the civil authorities of the democratic lands (democratic with a smal "d" for USA members here) in which we are fortunate to live are there to protect us all whther we be Jews or other religions

frum husbands who can control their mouths hands or other parts of their anatomy need help are sick and their victims or potential victims need protection

Lubavitch love to shout AD MOSEI let our Lubavitch sisters shout loud and clear AD MOSEI will we stand inactive when we see the abuse our siters suffer at the hnads of a society there apparently to protect husbands at the expense of their wives and families

AD MOSEI !!!

BTW I am a much loved wife my DH would never do that I dont want people to think that I am chas vesholom speaking froim personal experince although in my professional life oh boy do I know what goes on Sadly but true

33055

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 6:48 am

IMO the only way the second poster could have known who the OP was IRL was because she was already mixed-up in their marriage too much and had already heard the story. I posted that OP's husband should not be having this kind of outside communication with a female. There were not enough facts otherwise to identify OP nor was there a wrong doing on OP's part to warrant someone invading OP's privacy otherwise.

The second poster just reported the posting of the "news" that was already being discussed. OP was already aware her husband had this woman as his confidant. OP did not give herself away.

Too bad she doesn't have access to the support she was receiving. Perhaps OP can go to a private forum to discuss this that the second poster does not have access to.

33055

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 10:57 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Many anonymous posters have a very specific style that lead us right to who they are.

I could care less if anyone on this site could identify me from my style. There is no reason to mention my SN especially when talking about my finances. The problem with mentioning my SN is now the anonymous information is linked not only by the posters who read the thread, but it is forever linked by those doing a search.

My family is aware of my SN because it is a pet name my son called me as a baby. I don't need my daughter coming on her one day and reading information which I would tell my friends IRL but not my daughter. Changing my SN would not help because some big mouth poster to show how smart she is will just say oh that is the poster FKA (Formerly Known As) Squishy . This happened recently when a poster either changed her name or they thought she changed her name and the other posters outed her.

The outing posters should get publicly outed themselves if they do this under amother.

zaq

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 11:17 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Many anonymous posters have a very specific style that lead us right to who they are.

Or they release enough snippets of info that allow someone who knows them very well to figure it out. Is there a chance that someone else is in an almost identical situation? Absolutely. But combine your general situation with your posting style and a few details, and that can be enough for a self-styled investigative reporter (read: snoopy snitch) to draw some fairly accurate conclusions.

TranquilityAndPeace

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 11:23 am

Squishy wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

Many anonymous posters have a very specific style that lead us right to who they are.

Squishy, I remember your post, and how an amother outed you. IIRC, when you reported it, I passed it on to Yael. You can PM her about this issue.

Personally, I'm afraid of a computer bug that will eliminate amother use and show all amother posts as posts under people's regular screen names! So I rarely post sensitive info here, even as amother.

33055

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 11:30 am

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

Squishy wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

Many anonymous posters have a very specific style that lead us right to who they are.

Thanks TAP. I appreciate your attention to this matter. I didn't remember who the moderator was. Yael is reading this thread so I don't think a PM is necessary.

I still think the poster needs a potch.

black sheep

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 11:36 am

I once recognized a post by my SIL, and I knew it was her because I had just heard the other side of the story from my brother. and I felt that reading it gave me a better understanding of her side, and I felt like calling her and offering her my wise old advice, based on hearing both sides of course. but you know what? I realized that I had information that she would never have told me personally, she posted it anonymously because it was the only way she felt comfortable, and that put me in a position of violating her privacy. so I kept my mouth shut. I even ignored my brothers phone calls for a day. and I didn't mention a word of it to another sister who was sort of involved. because when you are privy to private information about someone in a way that they would be upset if you knew, it is just basic common decency to let them have their privacy. I know I can't solve every problem. (actually, sometimes I think I can, but I know people would not appreciate me trying to...) and I know that I would very much resent someone figuring something out that I didn't want them knowing and then mixing in to "help" me.

I always get very annoyed when I see posters trying to figure out who amothers are. (except when amother is used to bash an OP.) no one comes here asking for imamothers to solve their problems for them, they are asking for support and advice.

for those suggesting never to post anything you don't want on the front page of the paper, well that certainly is a paranoid way of going about life. and very unhealthy too. many married women do not have a strong support network, and imamother can be a lifesaver. probably a good idea not to post anything pointing to illegal activity or things that can be used against you in a custody battle for example, or anything at all if you plan on running for political office. but otherwise, imamother is exactly the place to come for support and advice.

saw50st8

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 1:48 pm

Squishy wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

Many anonymous posters have a very specific style that lead us right to who they are.

I can understand that. But sometimes, the things amothers are revealing are very personal (like mental illness or fertility issues) and don't want anyone to know. I always feel bad when I realize who they are.

I don't post as amother and I know I have a bunch of family on here, so I try to avoid posting anything that would bother them (like complaining about my MIL is my SIL is reading).

Sherri

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 2:19 pm

Squishy wrote:

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

Squishy wrote:

saw50st8 wrote:

Many anonymous posters have a very specific style that lead us right to who they are.

Don't assume that Yael is reading the thread- She may be just skimming. If you want the matter taken care of I suggest to PM her. She has been timely and considerate when I have pmed her in the past with concerns.

Fox

Wed, Dec 26 2012, 2:21 pm

Identifying an anonymous poster based on writing style is less foolproof than people seem to think. There have been two situations where people sent me PMs because they assumed I was an anonymous poster based on the writing style of the post. Unfortunately, I had absolutely no clue what they were talking about. One of the PMers gave a lot of relatively personal information in a lengthy message, and I think she was quite embarrassed when I explained that I was neither the OP nor a participant in the thread.

Ferreting out someone's SN or IRL identity is not only bad manners, it's likely to be wrong, too.