please don't let your DH dress like a woman

MimiMommy

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 5:41 pm

Every year I see grown, married men dressed as women on Purim. They think it's hilarious. It's disgusting and against halacha, not to mention the lack of role modeling for their sons. A couple years ago a neighbor's husband referred to himself as a feminized version of his name, wore a tight, short jean skirt, flats, a tight top with a bra and (I'm assuming) newspaper-stuffed chest. Plus his wife's wig.
I'm wondering, are these women embarrassed? Do they think it's funny/charming? If your DH wants to do this and he respects you enough to listen, say NO.

STovah

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 5:42 pm

and if I may add, please don't dress your little boys (babies, toddlers, whatever age) like girls either.

chocolate moose

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 5:55 pm

Soon we will get the stick-in-the-MUDs who don't want their dh's to drink

Sigh

runninglate

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 6:09 pm

STovah wrote:

and if I may add, please don't dress your little boys (babies, toddlers, whatever age) like girls either.

why not? I can't imagine why this would bother someone.

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 6:10 pm

faigie wrote:

Its a purim shpiel. Nothing more, nothing less.

Yes, but even on Purim there are some lines we do not cross. Not everyone agrees where the lines should be set, though.

amother

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 6:12 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

Soon we will get the stick-in-the-MUDs who don't want their dh's to drink

Sigh

yup I hate the drinking parties and then he pukes all over the carpet and have to clean it up while dealing with the kids.

its my yom tov also. I have a right to enjoy it without being the babysitter, cook, and cleaning lady all by myself while he acts like an overgrown child.

Happy18

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 6:15 pm

There are many many many other costumes for a man to wear, dressing like a woman should not be one of them. Just my opinion.

milchigs

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 7:20 pm

faigie wrote:

Its a purim shpiel. Nothing more, nothing less.

Not sure if a frum man cross dressing, especially so graphically, should be classified as something so jewish-sounding. Just sayin'.

cheese cake

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 7:26 pm

STovah wrote:

and if I may add, please don't dress your little boys (babies, toddlers, whatever age) like girls either.

Sorry but I totally disagree. There's a huge difference when a little boy under the age of 3 dresses like a girl and when a grown married man dressed like a girl. I don't think the issur of lo silbash applies to kids this young. I happen to think it's very cute to see the little boys dressed as girls on Purim but I would bury myself in shame if my husband would even think of dressing like a woman! Yes it is Purim but Halacha is still Halacha even on Purim

joy613

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 7:38 pm

I agree that it's very different for a man to dress like a woman than if a young child does it. But not necessarily for halachic reasons. More for social reasons.
According to some poskim, the issur of lo silbash actually does apply for young children even less than 3. The issur is on the parents. I know not everyone holds by that, but I just wanted to mention that there are clear halachic sources for it.
But yeah, a man dressed like the OP described would bother me more than just the fact that he's not keeping the halacha. It's extremely offputting.

Peanut2

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 7:38 pm

You'd have to pay my DH to dress as a woman.

But I find it amusing when people do it. Who cares? It's Purim.

I actually think dressing little boys as girls is strange.

chocolate chips

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 7:57 pm

My father used to wear an old wig but he never EVER put on skirt and a bra,....in fact I have never seen that and it is gross and probably against halacha (men cannot dress like women) even if it is purim or halloween!

For a baby to dress like a girl/boy is fine, they are babies I mean isn't that what everyone does? cheapest and easiest costume...

Next I will be telling you not to dress your baby in a bee costume because I am scared of bees?? !!

Merrymom

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 7:59 pm

I seriously wonder what these guys do behind closed doors the rest of the year...

amother

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 8:04 pm

I agree that men shouldn't dress like women...It always bugs me that some of the most frum Yeshivas have the boys dress up like Rivka (a bride) during that Parsha week. I just don't get it. It also bugged me when my kid was in Nursery and he was the Shabbos Imma especially when half the class was girls. They did that in his all boys in KG too.

Happy18

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 8:22 pm

Merrymom wrote:

I seriously wonder what these guys do behind closed doors the rest of the year...

That train of thought opens the door to so many interesting questions. I think we're better off not knowing.

Last edited by Happy18 on Tue, Jan 15 2013, 8:52 pm; edited 2 times in total

naturalmom5

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 8:37 pm

My husband said a few times that the women are just all jealous because he looks better than they do . I assumed he was drunk.
Judging from the tone of some of the posts here I am beginning to wonder...

It is PURIM. Some of you need to seriously chill.