whose is cooler?! | Imamother

mamash!

Tue, Feb 12 2013, 11:25 pm

I am reading all the MM ideas. Wow!!! I keep on discussing with my friends what we are doing, themes, packaging etc. Each of us trying to make the mitzva beautiful in our own talented way and then it hit me. Is Hashem really proud of my hiddur mitzva for my theme? Am I into it for the mitzva or just to outdo each other. Then I realized that yes, I am in for it for myself to show all my friends, co-workers and neighbors and fancy, extravagant and elegant I can be. So I stopped. I decided that "hey, let me go thru this again!!" WHO am I giving it to? I made a list again, of friends, co-workers, and neighbors. BUT this time different. I chose the friend who is always trying to hand out with me and I simply tell her " I wish a different day" I chose a neighbor who is going through a very difficult stage with her children, and a co-worker who simply has a hard life. No, I didnt get rid of all my other friends, I just added. Now I feel the real simcha of MM as apposed to the "look whose is cooler attitude!"

zaq

Wed, Feb 13 2013, 2:01 pm

mamash! wrote:

Am I into it for the mitzva or just to outdo each other. Then I realized that yes, I am in for it for myself to show all my friends, co-workers and neighbors and fancy, extravagant and elegant I can be. So I stopped. "

Yiyshar kochech! It's not an easy thing to admit , even to yourself, and harder still to change.
BTW this is why I have the greatest respect for people who enclose a note asking that their donations NOT be announced: because you know that they are doing it completely leshem mitzvah. When you put an ad in the journal or announce a pledge, you can't be sure there isn't an element of self-aggrandizement in there.

(Yes, yes, I know all about the idea of publicly announcing donations for the purpose of getting others into the spirit of the thing and donating more. Constructive competition, kin'as chachomim and all that. It has its place, but so does matan beseter.)