Calling parents by given names

macg5

Wed, Sep 22 2004, 11:36 am

I call my husband avi, my little girl has latched on to that, whenever she calls him avi, we ignore or say, no daddy, how do you cope. I refuse to call him daddy.

micki

Wed, Sep 22 2004, 12:58 pm

that is so cute - she must be about 2. that is when everyone of our kids called us by our given names. it passes, and no I don't call my hubby tatti-
I just said, sweety yes his name is ________? but kids call their fathers _________?
partly she is driving you nuts, partly she is up to the stage where she is identifying objects. this is a tree, this is a dog this is my father.
so don't change, just help her identify. it will pass.

Yael

Wed, Sep 22 2004, 10:26 pm

if I'm talking to my son about his father I will of course call him aba.
even if he wants me to call him to come say goodnight I call, "aba" that way he knows who it is, and what the right way to call his father is.

macg5

Thu, Sep 23 2004, 9:02 am

Yael wrote:

Yeah, I say, daddy come kiss ahuva goodnight etc if it concerns her then its daddy. If im talking to him then it will be avi, The funny thing is the glint in her eye, when she says avi, SHE KNOWS.....

miriam

Thu, Sep 23 2004, 9:49 am

She thinks it's funny and she's testing limits. It drove me crazy for a while .....Miriam...in the middle of the night. But I let her get it out of her system (probably a month) and she stopped. I ask her what's my name....Ima. What does Aba call me.....Miriam. She knows the difference. I think if you don't make a big deal out of it, it will go away faster. Just grit your teeth and try to ignore it.

macg5

Thu, Sep 23 2004, 9:57 am

Yeah YOu're right, my point was that she is more intelligent than I give her credit for and she can handle it.

proudmom

Sun, Sep 26 2004, 10:42 pm

With my 3 year old dayghter she knows the difference. When I call my husband I say abba and my daughter tells me its not abba its Dovid. Then she says I say abba and you say Dovid.

Mon, Sep 27 2004, 8:25 am

Baruch Hashem we haven't really dealt with this problem. My husband and I naturally refer to each other as mommy and tatty. Of course, when I am speaking directly to him, I refer to him by his first name and he mine.

I was in a gym class with all 3 boys and during circle time, the instructor would ask the kids who was behind them. Without exception, all kids answered by their parents first name. My boys, in unison, said "mommy" each week. I was actually thrilled with their response.

Liba

Sun, Oct 03 2004, 4:15 pm

So far, Baruch Hashem, we haven't had a problem getting our kids to call us mommy and tatty, our problem is more that my six year old refuses to say my or my dh's name in an circumstances. She finally agreed that maybe if she is lost she would write it down but she isn't allowed ot say it. I tried to tell her it would be okay, but she wasn't happy. She told me she just wouldn't get lost. LOL

I like her plan, but I worry that we did a bit too well isntilling in her the idea that it isn't kavodig to use your parents' first names.

Sun, Oct 03 2004, 11:24 pm

You made a good point - I've been really negligent about teaching my kids what to do and say if they get separated from me. I've taught them our phone number but I really haven't reviewed names, addresses etc. with them as much as I should. It's such a scary thing to me, that I've unfortunately put my head in the sand and pretended it couldn't happen to us. Thanks for the reminder

supermom

Thu, Feb 17 2005, 6:23 am

I know this thread was like a hundred years ago written but just saw it now. it reminds me about a couple in our community there daughter which they only have one. she is a little over a year old and she calls her parents by there real name and they think it is cute and encourage it. She claims that when she is three or four she would teach her this is ima and this is abba now that is weird no?

Pearl

Thu, Feb 17 2005, 6:29 am

the way I see it, there are a million people who can call me Pnina, but (at this point....) only 3 people on this earth can call me Ima, mommy, and I think that's a big zchut, for me and for them. My husband and I refer to eachother as abba and mommy when we talk with the children, but do not allow them to call us by our first name. We also never did that with our parents.

Rochel Leah

Thu, Feb 17 2005, 9:42 am

yep. Penina, I feel the same way. My son just satarted calling me mommy and it melts my heart every time Very Happy