I'm dealing with infertility. Ask me anything.

fromnj

Tue, May 21 2013, 9:44 pm

amother wrote:

When I was in the depths of IF treatments, I did not want to talk about it with anyone. I didn't share with anyone (parents, siblings included). I didn't have many side effects, but I know many people do. During the entire time I was infertile, I could not go to a bris or visit anyone at home with a newborn. Seeing people around town who were having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, while I couldn't have one was devastating. I didn't go to shul a lot and tried to avoid social gatherings. Now that I am past that stage BH, I am able to most things, but I still try not to go to brissim. I probably would have liked someone to talk with, but frankly I wasn't ready to open up at that time and divulge our private problems. HTH

I totally agree with this. Also, when you become friends with someone who is also experiencing IF, you never know when they are going to "betray" you and become pregnant. It is very stressful and lonely.

amother

Tue, May 21 2013, 10:23 pm

Zehava wrote:

I have a question. My close friend has if and so do two of her sisters. Another sister had a baby after a few years. Her mother seems to not have had any issues since she has lots of children close in age. Can there be a gene for if? If yes is it treatable?

There is a genetic component. Just like diabetes, asthma or nearsightedness and so on run in families so can infertility. As of now no the gene is not treatable. The symptoms are treatable, the problems it causes can often be dealt with but there is no cure all.

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 1:34 am

Whenever I hear the term PCOS I assume the person is overweight. Is this true?

Because if so, then diet, exercise, herbs (which are high in vitamins as well as hormone balancing properties) can help.

I can tell you that getting balanced makes a big difference. When a woman is hormonally balanced, her periods are normal to light, she ovulates, she doesn't have pain all month, and little to no PMS.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, May 22 2013, 1:37 am

amother wrote:

Please NEVER assume anything about anyone Sad

Do you go through IF? Your post sounds like the opposite, like you know nothing about this. Not every woman is the same and you should never assume or generalize.

r_ch

Wed, May 22 2013, 1:50 am

amother wrote:

I know this thread is a little old, but I wanted to try to answer the 2nd and 3rd posts here on the first page. I am NOT the OP, btw, just someone who has struggled with IF for a long time and now have kids, BH.

When I was in the depths of IF treatments, I did not want to talk about it with anyone. I didn't share with anyone (parents, siblings included). I didn't have many side effects, but I know many people do. During the entire time I was infertile, I could not go to a bris or visit anyone at home with a newborn. Seeing people around town who were having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, while I couldn't have one was devastating. I didn't go to shul a lot and tried to avoid social gatherings. Now that I am past that stage BH, I am able to most things, but I still try not to go to brissim. I probably would have liked someone to talk with, but frankly I wasn't ready to open up at that time and divulge our private problems. HTH

Thank you.

notshanarishona

Wed, May 22 2013, 8:10 am

amother wrote:

First of all , there are many women with PCOS who are not overweight.
Second, many women with PCOS who are overweight are already trying diet + exercise+ a lot more hishtadlus..
No one should be assuming anything about anyone unless the other person asks you for your opinion.
1- It is not your business and your judgment is not requested
2- Lifestyle choices are a personal matter
3- Many people with PCOS have other health issues which make weight control very difficult.

notshanarishona

Wed, May 22 2013, 8:12 am

Zehava wrote:

Some causes of IF are genetic . Most are not.
If something is treatable depends on what the issue is.

Raisin

Wed, May 22 2013, 8:21 am

Zehava wrote:

I know women who went through several years of IF and now bh have a bunch of kids close in age. If you didn't know them when they were struggling for several years you would have no idea - all you can see now is a family with a bunch of children.

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 9:06 am

amother wrote:

I am a thin PCOSer. When I was first diagnosed by my OB she was shocked. When I started with my RE he assured me it is not uncommon and since then I have found that to be true. The assumption that all PCOSers are overweight is wrong wrong wrong.

Diet, exercise and herbs are not a cure for any fertility issue and I wish people would stop posting it as one. I am sure there are woman who have delayed going to an RE in order to implement this advice.

PCOS can often be only part of the problem and women should go to an RE for a full workup before spending months trying to diet and lose weight. For example you can attempt to lose all the weight you want, but if you are insulin resistant and need metformin you will likely spend those months struggling. Other women will lose a lot of weight and balance their bmi only to later discover one or both of their tubes was blocked. Something that had she gone to an RE would have been ruled out and hopefully taken care of early on.

I am a thin PCOSer who needs IVF, all the diet, exercise and herbs in the world won't change that. Diet and exercise is always a good idea, but it is not a cure.

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 9:30 am

amother wrote:

I think I might be a thin PCOSer too, but not diagnosed yet. Is it unlikely to have insulin resistance if you're thin? What other signs for PCOS are there that thin PCOSers can have, apart from actual polycystic ovaries (which I know I have - but contrary to popular believe this doesn't always mean PCOS...)

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 9:36 am

amother wrote:

You can be thin with insulin resistance. Why do you think you have PCOS? What doctor told you that you have polycystic ovaries without checking for PCOS?

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 9:39 am

I am another thin PCOSer. I am 5'4 and weigh 115. I have clear skin n don't have excessive hair growth really. Why the PCOS diagnosis? I met enough of the other criteria- polycystic ovaries, irregular periods, no ovulation, etc. and btw I just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl- there is hope!!!

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 9:40 am

amother wrote:

You can be thin with insulin resistance. Why do you think you have PCOS? What doctor told you that you have polycystic ovaries without checking for PCOS?

I was only married 3 months when I found out, and the GYN assured me it wouldn't affect getting pregnant as I was ovulating monthly. Fast forward 2 years.... Crying

They did day 3 bloodwork checking hormone levels, day 21 checking ovulation etc., which came back normal, but they didn't test for insulin resistance. Are their any physical symptoms of insulin resistance?

(Sorry for hijacking the thread btw... )

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 9:46 am

amother wrote:

You can be thin with insulin resistance. Why do you think you have PCOS? What doctor told you that you have polycystic ovaries without checking for PCOS?

I was only married 3 months when I found out, and the GYN assured me it wouldn't affect getting pregnant as I was ovulating monthly. Fast forward 2 years.... Crying

If you haven't already go see an RE. If you know you are ovulating monthly and its been 2 years you really need to see an RE. There may be something else going on.

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 9:51 am

amother wrote:

If you haven't already go see an RE. If you know you are ovulating monthly and its been 2 years you really need to see an RE. There may be something else going on.

Yes, I'm already doing clomid cycles. I had all the normal testing - HSG etc. and everything clear.

When I went to the fertility clinic they relied on the hormone bloodwork I had done before though... maybe I should ask them if there is anything else they can test - insulin resistance for sure sounds important to check.

self-actualization

Wed, May 22 2013, 9:51 am

Sorry for angering people with my recommendations for vitamins, etc. I think every woman should be taking a multivitamin anyway. It happens to be that a lack of vitamin D, calcium and/or magnesium is particularly bad for women. That's why there are specific women's multivitamins.

Yes, I did have PCOS (thin person type), and I got a full hormone work-up at an RE, which everyone should do. I would never suggest relying on vitamins alone; that's crazy! I had an FSH-LH imbalance and B"H it was able to be resolved without medication, through various diet modifications (cutting out caffeine which works as a xenoestrogen - you can read the book "The Savvy Woman's Guide to PCOS" - and other diet modifications).

I didn't have insulin resistance, but a number of my friends were successfully treated with metformin.

By the way, many people with PCOS are treated with Clomid and other ovulation inducing drugs. I wasn't ready to do that right away, and I tried natural methods first. However, I am pretty sure that had my PCOS not resolved, I would have done whatever the doctors recommended (I was already seeing 2 RE's and a regular endocrinologist, and doing frequent blood work).

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 12:44 pm

amother wrote:

If you haven't already go see an RE. If you know you are ovulating monthly and its been 2 years you really need to see an RE. There may be something else going on.

You should definitely insist that they repeat all bloodwork and add anything they feel might be relevant. I'm not sure which RE you went you (where you live), but I've been to many RE's in my time, and they ALL repeat bloodwork, regardless of how many pages of documentation I bring. Do you live in NY? If so, Cornell is the best, most reputable, and has the highest success rates of all the places in the area.

wifey

Wed, May 22 2013, 6:31 pm

I have a question that I hope is not offensive as I don't mean it that way.

If you are the type of IF that doesn't talk about it with anyone and wants everyone to treat you normally, not bring anything up ever, talk about your kids, etc...at what point should those of us with kids draw the line? I have a good friend with IF and while I want to be sensitive she often brings up my kids. I try hard not to gush, to include her in things, etc but I always wonder if she is hurt and not saying anything and I would never want to hurt her.

amother

Wed, May 22 2013, 6:55 pm

wifey wrote:

I know this might be obvious but never start a sentence with "I know you cant understand" Or "You cant understand because..." Anything that implies "you dont get it because you dont have kids" Youre right IFers don't but we would kill to.