Therapists role - how do I know if therapy is effective?

amother

Tue, Apr 30 2013, 12:42 am

I am seeing a therapist because every so often I have depressive feelings.
The therapist is listening and making assumptions about my past/discussing my youth
I dont feel like it is 'tachlis'
I wanted advice and guidance but it seems this is not what therapists provide
who does?
am I the one who doesnt understand a therapists role?
I am uncomforable confronting the therapist directly because this is part of my issue I cant be assertive enough
Please enlighten me if you can
thank you
PS I hope I posted this in the correct forum
my husband feels that I always think I'm smarter and know better and that I should most certainly just continue going and paying money we barely have and beleive that somehow the process will work - do you agree?

5*Mom

Tue, Apr 30 2013, 1:22 am

The short answer may be that this therapist is not the right one for you. But there's a lot to know, both about you and about therapy in general, in order to increase the likelihood that you will find the right solution for you.

First, have you had a complete physical recently? There is a variety of physical conditions that can be accompanied by depression. They should be ruled out first.

Next, there is also a variety of treatment option for depression. For example, psychotherapy, cognitive behavior therapy, therapies that focus on relationships that may be causing friction and depression, and about a thousand variations on these, as well as pharmacotherapy, alternative therapies, and on and on...

I would suggest that you learn as much as you can about the different therapy options for depression and pick the one that sounds like it would work best for you. Then look for a therapist who practices that specific type of therapy.

And then, therapy involves work for the client and needs a good client-therapist fit to be effective.

Think of therapy as identifying problems and finding solutions. There are many different ways to go about this, but in general, identifying problems and finding solutions is usually effective. You just need to find the right method and agent for you.

amother

Tue, Apr 30 2013, 3:01 am

I dont know. but I have a feeling that you also have to work hard. its like going to a nutritionist for an overweight person, they can give you the best advice, best tailor made diet, best workout advice, but if you dont follow it, you wont lose weight and might even gain.
that being said, ive started therapy (a few sessions) and am trying to process what she is saying until I get over my issues.
good luck.

amother

Tue, Apr 30 2013, 10:36 am

I really appreciate the answers.
Its true that I also need to work hard but I need guidance and advice.
I would like to hear from anyone who tried pshychotherapy and cognitive behavior therapy and if they saw a difference which one is more effective kin the long run
thank you very much

seeker

Tue, Apr 30 2013, 7:15 pm

I thought CBT is one technique of psychotherapy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychotherapy It is definitely more goal-oriented and has a good deal of research support, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for other styles in the right times and places. I favor an eclectic approach.

I'm a firm believer in being open about what you expect out of therapy. I think a lot of therapists are either incompetent or just frauds, who let people come to their office and blab and blab and pay a fortune just for some attentive listening. Whereas a good therapist should openly discuss with you what you hope to gain out of therapy and what type of techniques they will use to help you get there, and how you'll be able to see whether you are making progress.

I am not a therapist but I do a lot of pleasure-reading about psychology (took a whole lot of psych electives in college too), have been a client of both types of therapist at various points in life, and employ a similar perspective in my own profession.

amother

Tue, Apr 30 2013, 7:49 pm

I think you should talk to your therapist about his/her approach. As mentioned, it is legitimate to explored history and childhood, but there are some styles that spend a lot of time talking about, processing, interpreting and healing the past, while others are more present or future oriented. Especially since you say $ is tight, you are the paying client, and can/should use this opportunity to express what you'd like to do. Also you can supplement your sessions with good reading such as: You Can Feel Good Again by Richard Carlson, and Tal Ben Shahar's Happier and Being Happy (both great). Also, a nice read: the happiness project by Rubin, David Burns Mood therapy. Make yourself knowledgeable about how you can actively participate in your own recovery. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right therapist too. Good luck!

imasinger

Tue, Apr 30 2013, 7:56 pm

IME, a therapist should ask questions, but not make assumptions. If this one is providing answers that don't fit or resonate for you, I would suggest that you begin by telling her how you feel. If there is not a good resolution, you may want to find someone else.

robynm

Wed, May 01 2013, 9:48 am

Definitely set a goal with your therapist as to what you hope to accomplish.

Of all the types of therapy I have gone to, I found CBT to be the most effective. I also went to a variety of thearpists until I found the right match.

chani8

Wed, May 01 2013, 10:02 am

amother wrote:

my husband feels that I always think I'm smarter and know better

Maybe you are smart and know a lot. Wink

I think you would benefit from CBT therapy, which deals directly with your depression and not (just) the past.

However, part of therapy (in general?), IIRC, is learning about the past messages that you learned as a child, about yourself, about life, about trust, etc (about money, about zexuality, etc, etc), and examining those messages under the light of adulthood, and then realizing how you continue to perpetuate those messages (whether good or bad) in to your present life.

It's not a judging thing, but a learning thing. Mostly learning how you talk to your self, so that you can stop the negative messages that you tell your self.

amother

Wed, May 01 2013, 3:52 pm

in my opinion, I feel cbt is a lot better then sitting in a chair talking about your mom and how everything stems from her and a poor childhood. while that may be true, I find it more effective with CBT.

you may not be seeing the right therapist or you may need to tell her what it is you need or are looking for and together you can work things out.

good luck