Things you never thought you would say to your kids

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children

1 2 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

the world's best mom

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 7:34 pm

There is another thread about this somewhere, but I can't find it and I've said some of the most bizarre things, tonight and other times that I had to add these.

Tonight, I said:

"You are not allowed to blow out the flame under the pot!"

"You are not allowed to put the baby's bottle in the mailbox!" (We lost one bottle like that way, and tonight we came very close to losing another.)

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 7:43 pm

I am going to smack you so hard you won't believe it.

aleza

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 7:48 pm

Because I said so.

EmesOrNT

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 7:51 pm

Don't throw the spaghetti.

seeker

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 7:56 pm

"We are going to flush that poop even if it looks like a duck."

and (can you tell we have potty brain here?)

"You can pick any treat in the store if you make on the toilet" (I seriously object to that kind of bribery but it was really THAT desperate.)

Sherri

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 8:15 pm

http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....27452

Great threads! Smile

imasinger

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 8:15 pm

Today, we were playing an animal game in my music class, and I found myself announcing to the kindergarteners,, "NO ELEPHANTS ALLOWED ON THE STAGE!"

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 8:57 pm

Clearly none of you have teenagers. I never thought I would, but I gave my son the ol' "don't have sax before you get married, but if you do, make sure you use a condom" Well, I did it much better than that, but that was the essence of the speech.

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 9:01 pm

"No, those things behind your p-nis aren't called knees. Only these [pointing] are called knees. "

observer

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 9:07 pm

"No, I'm not going to ask myself nicely for you. If you want it, you're going to have to ask nicely yourself".

cookiejar

Mon, Jun 17 2013, 10:21 pm

no more throwing clothing onto the ceiling fan while it's on

I find I don't believe half the things that end up coming out of my mouth to my kids...

the world's best mom

Tue, Jun 18 2013, 6:45 am

Why are there dirty socks in the fridge?

I know the bubble container is shaped like an ice cream cone, but it doesn't need to be in the fridge either.

ora_43

Tue, Jun 18 2013, 7:04 am

amother wrote:

"No, those things behind your p-nis aren't called knees. Only these [pointing] are called knees. "

I had something similar with a three-year-old.

"No, that's not a p-nis. That's called a belly button."
"I HAVE A P-NIS!"
"No. You do not. Girls don't have p-nises."
"THIS IS MY P-NIS!!!!"
(then she ran around the house shirtless singing "I have a p-nis")

At least I have a good story for her to beg me not to tell future boyfriends Wink

yo'ma

Tue, Jun 18 2013, 7:20 am

I'm saying please to be polite, not as a question.

amother

Tue, Jun 18 2013, 7:32 am

I did it differently I started with a math problem. 700 x 12 x 18. I asked my boys to find out that number.
After they did the math. I said that is how much child support costs ( I know 700 is a lot of money but only the best for my grand kids) Then we discussed s e. x and responsibility to be a good person and how to treat a women correctly.

amother wrote:

smilethere

Tue, Jun 18 2013, 7:44 am

Why am I the only one to change the toilet paper roll?

cuties' mom

Tue, Jun 18 2013, 12:13 pm

Its a toilet, not a swimming pool.
Do you want sauce or ketchup on your cream cheese?
Change out of your wet pajamas before coming to my bed. (After waking up to "Now your bed is also wet, mommy.")
No crying on Mommy's bed.
Eat some food with your cream cheese/ketchup mess.
Should I bring the potty to the kitchen?

yo'ma

Tue, Jun 18 2013, 1:23 pm

cuties' mom wrote:

Its a toilet, not a swimming pool.

It's a bathtub, not a pool. Splashing is for pools.

I don't have a good bathtub door.

pobody's nerfect

Tue, Jun 18 2013, 2:31 pm

licking your sister does not count as your protein for dinner.

putting on your shabbos dress does not make it shabbos, even if you really ereally need to have chocolate milk.

no, you can't use my breastpump.

yOungM0mmy

Wed, Jun 19 2013, 3:22 pm

Get out of the drawer! (to the kid who was sitting in the middle one of the chest of drawers)

Page 1 of 2

1 2 Next