I feel less of a woman because I'm heavy.

amother

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 1:17 pm

OMG I can totally relate!:-( I was 50 pounds overweight! !!!!! Im slowly losing, I already lost 37 and cant begin to tell you what a difference it makes. I feel so much better about myself. I was lazy for such a loooonnnnngggg time. Finally decided enough is enough. I would be embarrassed to go to Beit Knesset or weddings. And besides overeating was just from stress. It feels better to control the urge. I work out 3 times a week from home, myself, from a dvd. It feels great. I would tell you to push yourself and just do it! Its tough in the beginning but I can assure you, it gets easier.

amother

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 6:10 pm

It makes a lot of sense!! In today's world the emphasis is on our bodily image!! That's the way it is! Now get used to it, or lose the weight. As above amother said, its tough but eventually u feel like you're in control and not the food.

zaq

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 7:14 pm

amother wrote:

You are not as attractive as thinner women.

Gee, that was helpful, amother.
You wanna rephrase that, maybe?
Like, maybe, "You FEEL less attractive than thinner women because in our society the emphasis is on thinness"? Wouldn't that have been a whole lot nicer, even were it not just post-Tisha B'Av?

Because, cowardly amother, this may shock you, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and to many men, and in many societies, plumpness is associated with youth, wealth, fertility, eroticism and BEAUTY while thinness is associated with poverty, famine, barrenness and the rest. Just go to any history museum and take a gander at the Astarte/Aphrodite goddess figurines. Nice, zoftig ladies, every one of them. Downright tubby, some of them.

OP, you're not LESS of a woman; you're MORE of a woman in every sense. (Heaviness is associated with higher estrogen, though which is the cause and which the effect?)

However, if your weight is beyond pleasantly plump and edging into obesity territory, then your health is at risk and citing all the cuddlesome ancient goddesses is no longer appropriate. You know what you need to do.

malka1237

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 8:47 pm

I feel the same way when I'm overweight.. I just don't feel good about myself. Although fat ppl can be very pretty and Verrrry humorous and great company to be around. Don't feel too bad. Hardly anyone bats an eyelash on ur weight besides for u.

amother

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 9:22 pm

amother wrote:

You are not as attractive as thinner women.

I did not post this. I gained a lot of weight. Even though I think I'm still pretty, I feel that men would find some uglier skinny woman a lot more attractive than me. even my own dh. Crying

doublemama

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 10:27 pm

amother wrote:

You are not as attractive as thinner women.

Why does thinness always equal attractive? Why does everyone strive to look like a bag of twigs? Plumpness is beautiful, gives wonderful hugs. Thin doesn't equal healthy, doesn't equal happy or self worth. If you happen to be plump, love it! Dress it up, let the attractiveness show through! Nothing is more unattractive than a sour face or obvious low self esteem. I am heavier than my husband but my 'numbers' are much better than his, I have more endurance and better muscle tone. Being thin is fine, being heavy is fine. If you don't like it, change it.
My family doc told me that being at a steady weight is far healthier than constant yo yo dieting. I think someone with a little meat on her bones looks better than someone who looks emaciated. I am not saying 500lbs, but you know what I mean

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 11:06 pm

amother wrote:

You are not as attractive as thinner women.

I hope you feel REALLY bad about this post. Shame on you, and on everyone who "liked" it! Mad

If it hadn't already been reported, I would have done it myself. Mad

b from nj

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 11:42 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

amother wrote:

You are not as attractive as thinner women.

I hope you feel REALLY bad about this post. Shame on you, and on everyone who "liked" it! Mad

If it hadn't already been reported, I would have done it myself. Mad

I agree & I can't believe that the moderators haven't yet deleted it!!!!

Yael

Sun, Jul 21 2013, 11:51 pm

b from nj wrote:

FranticFrummie wrote:

amother wrote:

You are not as attractive as thinner women.

I hope you feel REALLY bad about this post. Shame on you, and on everyone who "liked" it! Mad

If it hadn't already been reported, I would have done it myself. Mad

I agree & I can't believe that the moderators haven't yet deleted it!!!!

if you take another look at the offending post, you'll see that it had already been edited at the time you posted. the discussion surrounding the comment has been left intact since it provides helpful perspective to the OP.

gold21

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 12:50 am

MaBelleVie wrote:

I really think that amother should be apprehended. That has got to be one of the most offensive things I've ever read here (and I'm not overweight).

Sometimes I read crazy posts here and I'm like " whatever, that person probably has issues"- but then the post has a few Likes, which is really disturbing. What kind of people are Liking these kinds of posts?

b from nj

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 9:00 am

Yael wrote:

b from nj wrote:

FranticFrummie wrote:

amother wrote:

You are not as attractive as thinner women.

I hope you feel REALLY bad about this post. Shame on you, and on everyone who "liked" it! Mad

If it hadn't already been reported, I would have done it myself. Mad

I agree & I can't believe that the moderators haven't yet deleted it!!!!

I seem to recall that the original comment was still up when I posted the above comment last night but as long as it's been deleted, that is really what matters!

IMHopinion

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 9:58 am

gold21 wrote:

MaBelleVie wrote:

I really think that amother should be apprehended. That has got to be one of the most offensive things I've ever read here (and I'm not overweight).

That's the power of posting anon here on Imamother. Say whatever you want, hurtful,shameful, as long as we don't know who you are... Rolling Eyes

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 10:09 am

I am personally acquainted with at least one woman who had a slim, excellent figure, but nothing to write home about from the neck up. Face, teeth, hair were just eh.

She was completely ignored.

I also remember one who was quite plump and fat, who was gorgeous and adorable from the neck up. I don't know what eventually happened to her, but she was confident, happy, bossy, amused, and obviously doing fine.

The action is from the neck up.

Of course we should try to keep the body where it looks and feels good, and works right.

But my advice would be to get very busy perfecting teeth, hair, makeup, earrings, mani pedi, scent, posture, grace in movement, and attitude. You'd be amazed.

Just my humble opinion, and observation, too.

I have seen at least one tall, thin, nice woman of 26 who was colorless in both face and clothes, quiet, shy, sweet, and couldn't get arrested. Nobody would give her the time of day.

When I rant about rouge, I am thinking of her. She broke my heart. She needed some fashion smarts and had none. You would have killed for her figure. It didn't matter.

It is not as simple as you think!

chani8

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 12:22 pm

I was shocked by that comment, too. Are we sure it wasn't OP, though, beating herself up???

I took it that way, actually. Who else but someone who says that to herself, would write that here?