I feel less of a woman because I'm heavy.

MaBelleVie

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 12:27 pm

For the first several thousand years of the world's existence, women with curves were beautiful. In some places it still is that way. Unfortunately, some recent crazy notions in western society have led people to believe that any padding is ugly. Ridiculous.

amother

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 2:33 pm

chani8 wrote:

I was shocked by that comment, too. Are we sure it wasn't OP, though, beating herself up???

I took it that way, actually. Who else but someone who says that to herself, would write that here?

op here
No, I didn't write that comment, but I didn't take find it so offensive because that's how I feel.

elisheva25

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 4:03 pm

To the op....you shouldn't feel this way.... but I understand that you do.The thing is we live in an insane world that tells you how to feel about many things, even if it's totally ridiculous. I am not overweight...but after a few kids itwould be good to lose say 10lbs. But I've been fuming in my head for a long time about the attitude in the Jewish world in regards to size and weight. At least around where I live....women as a whole in the Jewish community are obsessed with eating salad....like all the time...goingto all kinds of exercise classes and hiring personal trainers. It's one thing to be health conscious.It's completely another for all ....regardless of how many pregnancies they had to have a need to be size 0,2 or 4. It's completely insane. But people feel the need to fall into this insane peer pressure to look a certain way. I think the world has gone mad Smile

amother

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 4:53 pm

op here again
It doesn't help that while my husband says I'm zexy, he also says that fat is ugly to him. I've only gained a lot of weight (more than 50 lbs.) the past 2-3 years. I'm seeing (another) nutritionist next week. My problem is keeping to a diet.

b from nj

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 5:16 pm

amother wrote:

If he says you are zexy, then maybe he really sees you as such even though he may be turned off of fat in general!

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 9:10 pm

That is a lot of weight to gain in two years, so I am glad you are working on that.

But you can still look good while you are working on that. If not to get it off, then to stabilize it.

Dress well what you have, OP, we don't live forever. There are some terrific lace things at Roaman's. Don't say, it's not worth it until I lose this or that.

Then, tell your husband that the ear of a woman is a sensitive organ, and to hold his tongue.

Then, demonstrate what you mean, by healing the injury to your ears, by getting some new earrings.

I never saw anyone look terrible in pearls. And they don't have to be real.

Scent is just as nice on a plump woman as on a thin one. I like a floral on a thin one, and a green scent on a plump one.

amother

Mon, Jul 22 2013, 9:35 pm

Op, I totally know how you feel. I've always been big, from newborn to now. I have 5 kids, and I weigh 25lbs more than I did when I got married over 8 years ago. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I CANNOT get to my pre-first baby weight. I HATE the way I look, and I hate that I can't seem to change it. About a year ago, I decided that if I'm going to be big (size 22/24), then I'm at least going to look as feminine and pretty as I can! I started wearing makeup and jewelry and slowly got rid of the big baggy shapeless clothing is been wearing and started buying clothing that looked better on me, even though it was more expensive. I've also tried to work on my extreme shyness and be more outgoing and fun. It's been a learning process but I feel like it's all helped me quite a bit. I still get down about my weight and feel bad that my rail thin dh is stuck with me sometimes. But today, one of my friends who is a size 4 was telling me that I'm so pretty and feminine and she wishes she could figure out how to be that feminine AND that I had some curves and she wishes that she had curves too. While in my mind I totally don't understand that or agree, it made me think that maybe I'm a lot harsher on myself than I should be.

Anonymous because it's a hard topic for me to talk about openly. :blush:

chani8

Tue, Jul 23 2013, 11:37 am

amother wrote:

Join imamothers on myfitnesspal.com!! We'll help you stick to counting your calories! We're having fun supporting each other. Join them and then look me up and I'll hook you up with the group.

Ruchel

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 7:28 am

Heavy is per se feminine. Women have more fat.
If you are heavy with a good look, put together, feminine clothes... you are definitely attractive except to men who prefer boy-like girls. I say this as a shadchan.

Now, if you are very overweight, you should try lose, for your health (not for fashion).