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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
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 Tue, Sep 17 2013, 8:22 pm
Am I the only one who goes broke every time there is a major holiday? How do people afford it? It's a 3 day yom tov again. Invariably a child needs a few new things to make it through 3 days without washing. (Just simple shirts and pants, nothing fancy and no sweaters/vests) Plus there are the Arbah Minim to purchase,... and all those meals! I feel like I just keep spending and spending money we really don't have for this. I am not buying extravagant items, but still.... and I wonder how people who have even less money are managing. I don't even buy meat or chicken, but challah (I just don't bake challah), ingredients for desserts (those I do bake), some fish, fresh fruits and vegetables .... it adds up to hundreds of dollars for just three days! And I only have two kids. We do have some company because people invite themselves over and I am not going to refuse them (for some reason people don't realize we just barely scrape by, even though we live in a too-small apartment, have a very old car and do not buy any fancy clothing or much of any clothing unless desperate) Am I doing something wrong? I try not to use too many disposables, I don't buy melons or berries or other expensive fruits. I do have to have some fruit for my kids to snack on and to offer guests, so I do buy some grapes at $2.50/lb, but that's it. No, I cannot run from store to store to shop all the sales in each one, because gas costs money too, they each have a $10 minimum of non-sale items, and I simply do not have the time, but still... how much would I really save? $10-15? That's not the kind of savings I'm looking for. So what does a 3 day yom tov cost you? How do you keep costs down? I am looking for ideas to save money on groceries for the second days.
Sorry for rambling, it's just so frustrating! Thanks for letting me vent.
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imasinger
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Tue, Sep 17 2013, 8:28 pm
The Sukkah Fairy drops off $1000 when YK is over.
No?
Guess there's no magic. Plan meals around what's on sale, shop clothing sales out of season for kids, and save, keep it simple, ask guests to bring something.
And try to enjoy, even when times are tough.
But you were looking to vent more than to get advice. Oops, sorry.
Hope the Sukkah Fairy pays you a visit.
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TwinsMommy
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Tue, Sep 17 2013, 8:31 pm
we try not to make all purchases at once--- spreading it out over time. KNOWING that September will be a big food month, we spend less on food in August. KNOWING that arba minim are coming, we save over the summer. Our succah is a handmedown and yet we spent $160 on a handyman to get it up this year. Hoping to save up enough for a MUCH easier to put up sukkah for next year so we don't have handyman costs. My kids don't really wear really dressy clothes. The dressy clothes they do have are hand me downs. We just know it's coming so we brace ourselves for it.
We never vacation, we don't have a cleaning lady, we both work. I don't know---- somehow it all works out!
We don't have guests because our kids have MASSIVE behavioral special needs and we try to keep home a sanctuary as much as possible for them to LET GO once they get home. We DO get invited out for a couple of meals.
May you have a wonderful Sukkos!
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amother
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Tue, Sep 17 2013, 9:43 pm
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Bh we were invited out for the whole yt because there is no way at all that we could afford it right now. I would love to be home, it's much better for our family between kids sleeping and my medical issues but we simply don't have the money right now so we are going away for the whole yt.
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FranticFrummie
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Tue, Sep 17 2013, 10:17 pm
DH is out of town for the holidays, so that cuts down the food bill considerably! We'll be either eating out, or having a small meal at home, no guests (pop up succah for two).
I just want this holiday to be sweet, simple and easy - no pressure!
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greenfire
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Tue, Sep 17 2013, 10:43 pm
although I don't spend money on a lulav ... the succah is what it is & I put it up myself ...
by me it's always a miracle
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amother
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Tue, Sep 17 2013, 10:48 pm
I would love to invite company, but I cant afford to.
I would have to host any family members I invite for 3 days since none live locally. I did invite a friend in the neighborhood for one meal, but I wish I can have more.
Family cant host me, since they live in tiny apartments. Parents live an expensive plane ride away and inlaws are another whole story.
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amother
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 12:18 am
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Sometimes the Succah fairy does just drop money on you. S/he did to me today! I also feel as if I have been spending and spending. Every time I think I am done shopping, I realize I need more. I keep telling myself "Hahem supplies, Hashem supplies." And today I received an anonymous gift that will even allow me to take my kids on a chol hamoed outing! Hashem really does supply!
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amother
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 1:02 am
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Depends on your income and expenses. Do you or DH work?
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Marion
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 3:00 am
Are you asking about Tishrei or Succot? Because we just had a three day yom tov, and you shouldn't need to buy more clothes for Succot. Not all my kids have three days' worth of Shabbat clothes, and we don't have a lot f three day yom tovs. I decided they can either change into play clothes when they get home from shul, meaning they can wear the shul stuff another day, or they can wear dressy, but not specifically Shabbat, clothes to shul on the third day. It might be a grey or blue shirt instead of white, for example, or grey shorts instead of navy.
I also simplify my meals. I don't serve a soup course, or a fish course. Salads are served as sides. Some of my salads can be made with canned goods (corn or chickpea salad). I don't serve chicken parts, unless I've chopped up the chicken myself, then I've used the breast for stir fry, for example, and I have the backs/thighs/legs/wings left over so I serve those as pasrts. Buying a whole chicken is cheaper, so that is what I serve. Red meat is something I buy for YT when I see it on sale, and then it sits in my freezer. If I'm serving a dairy meal I'll serve fish patties, or something that stretches the fish if possible. Tofu stir fry or ratatouille style salad. A pasta dish. And lots of salatim.
There's not much you can do about the cost of arba minim.
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vintagebknyc
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 8:18 am
I don't understand this whole new clothes thing, or guests inviting themselves without bringing food.
a: no new clothes. b: I've love for you to come, why don't you be in charge of xxx salad!
that's more than half your budget right there.
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5*Mom
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 8:23 am
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We budget for chagim throughout the year, a little bit each month in a separate bank account so we won't overspend on other things and be left with nothing for yom tov. We learned the hard way : /
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Tamiri
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 8:35 am
BH we do okay. Not rich, but okay. And we know to apportion our money, keeping the important things in mind. Buying more "stuff" may be fun and affordable, but then we won't have extra when we need it. Like 3 or 4 or 5 sets of Arbaat Haminim. And entertainment on Chol Hamoed. And gas for the car. And me taking off work. And so on.
Prioritize. Remember that Nissan is coming... so start thinking about it now!
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OIF SIMCHAS
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 11:06 am
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Just keep in mind that whatever gets spent for Shabbos / Yom Tov Hashem repays you double!!!!
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amother
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 11:23 am
OP here. Thanks everyone. Glad to see I'm not the only one!
Yes, DH works, but I am out of a job right now. His job is actually a very good one, but after taxes and tuition and rent and utilies, etc. ....there really isn't much of anything left over. Not enough to save up for upcoming yomim tovim.
amother 11:18 p.m. - That is wonderful, so happy for you! Enjoy the outing with your kids!
Vintagebknyc - Children grow. So while neither DH nor I got anything new, I had no choice with the kids. I couldn't squeeze them into any of their summer clothes anymore, believe me, I tried.
Marion - I guess I meant Tishrei but was more focused on Succos because it's more celebratory somehow. I managed to keep my kids home more on Rosh Hashana because of the long davening, so I got away with less clothing and they just weren't dressed properly all 3 days, but I can't really keep them home on Succos, so I did end up having to buy a bit more. Each child needs 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants total to make it through. I can't see a child keeping their shirt clean for more than a day. Even staying clean a whole day would be amazing.
There is no overlap between Shabbos and weekday clothing for me. During the week it's the cheapest t-shirts and polos I can find and khakis. On Shabbos it's a button down shirts and a dark pair of those polyester-cotton blend pants they sell in the Jewish stores as Shabbos pants.
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mummiedearest
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 11:35 am
| amother wrote: | OP here. Thanks everyone. Glad to see I'm not the only one!
Yes, DH works, but I am out of a job right now. His job is actually a very good one, but after taxes and tuition and rent and utilies, etc. ....there really isn't much of anything left over. Not enough to save up for upcoming yomim tovim.
amother 11:18 p.m. - That is wonderful, so happy for you! Enjoy the outing with your kids!
Vintagebknyc - Children grow. So while neither DH nor I got anything new, I had no choice with the kids. I couldn't squeeze them into any of their summer clothes anymore, believe me, I tried.
Marion - I guess I meant Tishrei but was more focused on Succos because it's more celebratory somehow. I managed to keep my kids home more on Rosh Hashana because of the long davening, so I got away with less clothing and they just weren't dressed properly all 3 days, but I can't really keep them home on Succos, so I did end up having to buy a bit more. Each child needs 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants total to make it through. I can't see a child keeping their shirt clean for more than a day. Even staying clean a whole day would be amazing.
There is no overlap between Shabbos and weekday clothing for me. During the week it's the cheapest t-shirts and polos I can find and khakis. On Shabbos it's a button down shirts and a dark pair of those polyester-cotton blend pants they sell in the Jewish stores as Shabbos pants. |
amother, I don't know how many kids you have, so this may still be a lot of money, but my son dresses in white button down french toast brand shirts for shabbos. they're cheap but they last. yes, they're school uniform shirts. I also get him the french toast pants, which I can often find on sale for $7-8. they also last well. and I get him one or two sweater vests for the year when they're on sale (I buy them well in advance). the jewish stores are ridiculously expensive. the pants might be fancier looking, but kids can get away with black or navy uniform pants just fine. and my son does not have shabbos shoes right now. he runs around in them and ruins them anyway. so he's wearing his sneakers. and that's that. I didn't buy him any new y't clothing, I just buy a reasonable amount of the size he's going to need a year in advance when it's all on clearance sale. I didn't buy my dds new dresses for y't either. the younger one has enough hand me downs, and the older one has her clothing from last year. I tend to buy her dresses a size up so she can wear them two years in a row. some styles look just fine in a bigger size. and when she finishes with them, they'll go to younger dd.
the real expense for y't is food. if you need to buy a sukkah, that's an expense as well, though there are cheaper options out there. saving on food takes a lot of organization, preparation, and freezer space. it might be easier to put money aside over the course of the year.
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JAWSCIENCE
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 11:41 am
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I don't know if you are comfortable posting age/gender of kids and general location but many times when this comes up there are posters with kids who just outgrew clothes that would be super happy to see another kid get use out of it. I know I carefully pack up my DDs clothes for whoever in the family or neighborhood has a daughter next.
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nyer1
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 11:59 am
how are we able to afford it? well, a couple of things to keep in mind.
we are a couple with only 1 baby.
we both BH have good jobs
we are only making 2nd day yom tov. we are going away to my in laws the first days.
we buy only chicken.
we don't buy fancy ingredients
I bake cakes and challos myself
I buy things that are on sale, sometimes in bulk.
I didn't buy anything new for myself this year. I didn't NEED new outfits, so I didn't buy any.
we don't have many many guests, and we will probably be invited out at least once during second days.
at one meal we are doing 'pot luck' with a few other couples.
and lastly,
it's an expense that I make a cheshbon in advance for. I know the expense is coming whether I like it or not, so I just prepare for it. didn't buy anything elaborate or extra for the last few weeks, and won't for the next few weeks.
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suzyq
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 12:20 pm
I plan well in advance. We stay home for holidays and are in for most meals and have lots of guests so need a LOT of food. I prepare things in advance and freeze for at least a month in advance, sometimes longer. If I make just a few things a week and freeze them, it really spreads out the cost AND the work. This way, we really don't buy much extra for yom tov or feel much of a hit to our budget. It really makes a difference. I also buy when things are on sale. For the month or two before yom tov, whatever meat is on sale that week, I buy it and make whatever I can with it and freeze for Yom Tov.
As for clothing, you can find really decent, cute stuff for CHEAP at Wal-Mart. The Jewish stores are the worst place to buy that stuff.
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mandr
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Wed, Sep 18 2013, 12:56 pm
| amother wrote: | | No, I cannot run from store to store to shop all the sales in each one, because gas costs money too, they each have a $10 minimum of non-sale items, and I simply do not have the time, but still... how much would I really save? $10-15? That's not the kind of savings I'm looking for. |
Hi, I understand you, but I'm dismayed at your stores' $10 minimum thing. Do you have any large supermarkets like ShopRite in your area? I don't have time to run around shopping in 5 stores, but here's what I do. Every two weeks I go to Shoprite and buy whatever I need that can be bought there (the soda and juices on sale that week, fruits, veggies, baking ingredients) and I save the Jewish supermarkets for whatever I can't get at ShopRite (dairy, meats, random items). Once a month I go to Amazing Savings for paper goods like cups/plates/cutlery/bags. I find that I save a lot this way, not just $10-$15. Once a month I go to Walmart and get cleaning supplies and cereal.
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