Please read this post re: tragedies

miriam

Thu, Mar 15 2007, 7:15 pm

I have been very distraught by the recent devastation in the world. I don't need to remind everyone what I am referring to. I was speaking to my husband about it. He said something very wise that I want to share with you. I am hoping it will be a comfort b/c it was for me.

He says: Car accidents and deaths didn't just start happening. The only reason we are all hearing about these events is because of the INTERNET. All these things were taking place before we just didn't hear about them. Yes, these are all very sad occurences but there is nothing new going on.

I was thinking about visiting those news sites less often. You do get to hear about all the simchas but the sadness is too much.

withhumor

Thu, Mar 15 2007, 7:17 pm

Ahhhmph? I heard these stories from a guy who told another guy who told another guy in shul who told my husband who told me… I think this web has been around for centuries.

greenfire

Thu, Mar 15 2007, 7:18 pm

agreed - a tragedy always - no matter where we hear it from ...

amother

Thu, Mar 15 2007, 7:21 pm

We all live in the same shteitel all over the globe. It's called Frum Oilem. People w/o the internet are hearing this news, just the same, over the telephone.

amother

Thu, Mar 15 2007, 7:48 pm

There are also many miracles that take place too. I can tell u our family miracle, how our car made a full flip into a ditch and nothing happened to any of us, we were driving with our children. I know it doesnt take away the tragedies but Im saying this so that although they are terrible tragedies, we obviously dont understand the ways of Hashem, and we have to try to look out for even the small good things that take place. and although they are tragedies in essence everything Hashem does is good even when we dont understand how.

southernbubby

Thu, Mar 15 2007, 7:54 pm

Amother you are so right. Maybe we should be making everyone more aware of miracles. There is the possibility though, that in hearing about tragedies, we will try to do more mitzvahs as well as driving and living more carefully and taking better care of ourselves.

suomynona

Fri, Mar 16 2007, 3:10 am

Miriam I agree 1000%. It used to be that people didnt know about the tragedies in every community but now the Jewish world is so small, and newspapers and websites feel a need to report on all these stories, so we hear about tragedies in all communities.

GramaNewYork

Fri, Mar 16 2007, 7:02 am

I am also very sensitive to these things and the feelings of sadness and despair can be overwhelming at times. I unsubscribed to Arutz-7 and stopped reading the news everyday. This helped a great deal; I would recommend that if you are very sensitive to the negative goings on in the world, you might want to consider weaning yourself off of the news.

DefyGravity

Fri, Mar 16 2007, 8:16 am

I started a thread about this awhile back. Unfortunately, people love spreading bad news, and good news just doesn't get passed around.

miriam

Mon, Mar 19 2007, 9:36 pm

Ozmom sent me an email that I want to share in this thread:

Quote:

I myself can't handle hearing too much. In general my husband refrains from telling me terrible news if I don't need to hear it, I don't read news sites partially for that reason and we have no newspapers in my home. I don't listen to the radio and I don't have a television. Call me sheltered if you like, but what I need to know I'll find out anyway.
Either way some things one can't escape from.
I wont go into detail but a week and a half ago (I think in the same week as the story with Rabbi S) we lost a young mother of 3 in our Melbourne community (also through an accident). She was 35 yrs of age and always with a smile on her face.
Our community was in shock,
I myself have been teary eyed almost daily since this happened.
I know your issue is about not reading these things so I apologise for adding one more thing, but the reason I do so is because I want to bring out a point.
we know everything happens for a reason, although we have not always the capacity to understand, nor do we always have to understand why hashem does things the way he does.
the thing is just like there is a reason why hashem took that woman's life, there is also a reason why we know about it. There is a reason why in the same week I had to hear of similar tragedies across the globe
I keep thinking, how we just don't know what is in the future, how we keep putting off things for tomorrow and how we just don't know what tomorrow brings.
and then I think of missed opportunities, regret, unresolved issues in our lives.
Things we want to do for people but haven't gotten around to. Things we want to say to people but can't bring ourselves to.
Do we tell our kids often enough that we love them?
do we tell our spouses often enough that we love them?
do our parents, siblings and friends know how much we appreciate them?
how about unresolved issues in our lives? how many squabbles unfortunately do we know of in our communities? old friends who are ex friends? families that don't talk to each other.
I'll tell you a personal story, fortunately with a good ending
I have a friend that I was close with for years, then somehow we stopped calling each other.
for a long time I was kicking myself that I had neglected our friendship as indeed I believe I was the one at fault. I had my own personal issues that had drawn me inwards and therefore was neglecting others who may have needed me.
I was confiding in another friend (one who put up with my neglect and made it her business to stay in touch with me) about my guilt, and kept saying how I was meaning to call her but still hadn't done it.
anyway one day I find out that my friend was having major shalom bayis issues.
I can't tell you how bad I felt that I hadn't been in touch all this time. all that time she may have needed her friends and I wasn't there for her. Yes she has others, and she has family but I myself wasn't there for her. I was in a pickle. If I picked up the phone now, it may sound like I was fishing, but I wanted to be there for her, to tell her I was thinking of her.
I finally found an excuse to get in touch and acted like I didn't know anything. She eventually got around to telling me her situation and I had the opportunity to apologise to her for all my neglect and to briefly explain. I also had the opportunity for showing her the support she deserved from me
Boruch Hashem things turned around for her and improved.
that's one story, but there are many more things I don't get around to doing or can't bring myself to do and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
there are definitely relationships I need to invest more effort and heart into and today is the time, not yesterday.
now lets just see me implementing the lessons I've learned ...oy!

Now this is the thing.
we comfort the mourners in their time of mourning. at the same time we all do our own personal yet incomparable mourning and greiving. As human beings its only natural, but then what?
what do we take away from this?
what little bit can we do to change even a bit of this darkness into light.
we are coming to the end of Adar. Shocking as it is that all these things happened in adar, this month is supposed to be a month of venehapachu.
so lets do it, lets do some turning over, lets make some changes.
lets turn our grieving into action!

start making those calls we keep meaning to make.
say those things we keep meaning to say.
hold our kids more, appreciate our spouses more, call our parents more.
Lets do our part to end conflict and grievances
Lets put our egos aside and do what we have to do because we never know when we will get another chance.
I wish you and yours hatzlocho in all you do and we should only know of good things from now on and only have revealed brochos from now on.
MOSHIACH NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

chocolate moose

Wed, Mar 21 2007, 1:30 pm

I have heard that: the news that used to take 2 days to spread now takes 20 minutes. it's true that we are all on news overload.

miriam

Wed, Mar 21 2007, 8:42 pm

Any more thoughts on the matter?