are you an easy going parent?

morah

Thu, Dec 26 2013, 10:59 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

morah wrote:

I just want to add that "laid back" doesn't mean anything goes or neglect. I have boundaries, red lines, and even a structured routine. However, I don't freak out over a late night or a skipped meal, or an obvious phase. If its not going to land the kid in the hospital or the therapist's couch (and a total lack of boundaries will almost certainly lead to those as much as too strict can), it's not worth getting worked up over.

We seriously need to meet up someday. I've always loved your posts! Very Happy

Thanks! Maybe next time I go to Whistler. I usually pass through Seattle on the way :-)

amother

Thu, Dec 26 2013, 11:15 am

I didnt read all the posts but the few that I did reminded me of something my sister said to me.

she called me up when her second baby was a few months old (I already had 3) and she said/yelled to me...

her: "I am so angry with you."
me: why? what did I do?
her: "when I used to call you up and complain about my dd you let me complain and you never said "oh wait till you have 2?" or "why are you complaining, do you know what bedtime in MY house looked like last night?' 2 is so much harder than one, why did you let me complain about 1?
me: Well it wouldnt have been fair for me to have done that. You felt overwhelmed with 1. Me telling
you how 3 is wouldnt have made you feel less overwhelmed, if anything you would feel worse
about yourself that my sister can handle 3 and I'm drowning with 1. You needed to experience
both situation so you could appreciate the first. Plus you now know that the same way you
realized later that the issues you had with the first werent so bad in reality, now with your
second and IY"H with more you can remind yourself, it probably isnt as bad as I'm thinking right
now.

Also something someone else mentioned....I'm a schedule person, partially for my kids' sake and partially for mine. I do not envy parents who are dealing with any child of any age under 10, at 10pm at night. I dont think they're laid back I see them as silly, they are losing their ME time, and their children will be tired the next day, even if it's vacation, and then the have to deal with cranky children. Maybe they are more laid back so they are able to deal with cranky children, but why put yourself in that situation to test it out. (I understand that there are exceptions.....siblings/first cousins bar mitzvah/wedding, etc)