entertaining children

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 9:31 pm

do you have to entertain your children? do they do their own thing, like when they come home from school ? do they play by themselves on Shabbos/Sundays?

I ask this bc my dd1, who is 3 years old was never good at playing by herself. needed company as a baby, and now is better, but is still constantly asking, 'what should I play now, come play with me, I dont know what I want to do" ect ect. she also asks to watch alot, but I usually only allow it fridays and sundays...
I recently hung out with a friend, who has a son whos the same age, who was playing on the floor by himself for like at least 45 minutes with a flash light. I was mesmerized.

is it a gender thing? an age thing? personality? did I do something wrong?

my dh thinks im crazy, bc he sees no problem letting her watch videos whenever she wants to.
and I feel so guilty bc shes really such a sweet, great little girl, but like on sundays I start to get nervous about how will I entertain her all day.

zaq

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 10:04 pm

Relax, you did nothing wrong. Children differ naturally in how well they can entertain themselves, just as they differ in all other ways. But you can and should encourage self-sufficiency in your dd.

Does she really crave entertainment, or does she just want to be with you and have your attention? Consider letting her "help" you with your household work. When you make a salad, let her toss her own miniature salad in a plastic cereal bowl, or let her rip up the lettuce and other greens into little pieces. Show her how to fold small pieces of laundry like dish towels and wash cloths while you fold sheets and bath towels. This is not child exploitation-it's playing house.

When were you planning to send her to preschool?

2kiddos

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 10:17 pm

I have 3 children, all girls. My oldest, age 4, has always been the most difficult in this regard. The only way I was able to have a few minutes without her blabbering in the background was when I invited a friend for her. Now my 2 girls entertain each other's already. (4 yr old and a 3 yr old. ) I think it's very much a personality thing. She's very not playful, imaginative...she rather wants to schmooze than build a tower. This is since she was born.

amother

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 10:21 am

op here-thanks for the replies

she goes to pre school. for like about 5 hours a day. and thats kinda the problem, shes entertained and always busy in school (which is great! morah says shes wonderful) but comes home and doesnt know what to do with herself. its almost like if theres isn't someone mapping out every minute of her day with an activity (like a morah) she doesnt know what to do.in the old days, shed sit with a paci and be able to just be.. but now..

zaq-your right about the helping, she loves baking, I guess I need to come up with more ideas of how she could help me...
2kiddos- your right! she loves to talk! she loves to discuss things ! that she could do all day, unfortunately I have to work very hard to on that part...

I guess I just get nervous/frustrated bc I see other parents who are totally fine with having their kids home all day with nothing major planned. and the kids seem fine, and not kvetchy, like my dd can get.

amother

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 11:16 am

I have a 3 1/2 only dd. In preschool half a day. she does still take a nap. Ability to entertain oneself is not a gender thing.

My daughter also likes watching for example if I'm cutting up raddishes sometimes there are little red specks in the raddish which she calls funny raddishes so she stands and watches waiting for a funny raddish Smile

. Can you shmooze with her in the kitchen which you are doing something else. Can you ask her to get you stuff, bring stuff to a different room- basically make her useful?
Some things my daughter likes to do that she can do by herself- building, lacing cards, cutting, ripping- give her some stuff to rip that she can rip over a garbage can, old egg cartons to destroy....ask her to make you a pretend meal etc....

Hatzlacha!

flowerpower

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 11:45 am

Each kid is different. You really can't compare. It has to do with their personality. See what kind of toys she likes and invest in those-pretend play or building or dolls or dollhouse...Most kids love art. Invest in markers, crayons, papers, white erase board, stickers....and let her do her thing. For sundays you can try playdates.

hop613

Thu, Jan 02 2014, 12:45 pm

Every child is so different. My son who is almost 3 also craves structure and planning. He is not looking to be entertained, but just does not do well when left on his own. He goes to pre-school 3 mornings a week, and the rest of the time we have to keep very busy. There is nothing wrong with any of this, it is just the way he is.

3 is still young, that I still expect to have to be actively involved most of the time in what my child is doing. That means that I am in the room while the child plays - giving suggestions, talking etc., we are doing something together around the house, or doing something out of the house.