had a terrible PTA meeting

amother

Sun, Feb 02 2014, 10:35 pm

basically teacher tells us our child is extremely bright, but he think there is something "off" about him. Basically insinuated that our child is obsessive about asking questions and won't stop during class until he is answered. Teacher was afraid that if this wasn't stopped this may escalate as he gets older into something full fledged like ocd. I have a lot of trouble with this particular child. I understood what the teacher was trying to get at, but I don't think it is ocd. I think my child is gifted, but very intense personality. Once he starts on a project or book he will not stop until finished. This is an issue at school and at home, and I'm sick with worry, even though I thought it was completely wrong to drop this bomb on us at PTA. the school year is almost half over and I never got a phone call before this about this major concern???? This was gone about the wrong way. but even so I understand the concern. I am worried. This child has trouble switching gears in general. when he is "in the zone" he will ask a million questions and will not stop doing his work until he is finished even if its time to move on. explaining anything to him when he is in the zone as to why you can't answer a question or help him proves to be fruitless. it's like he has zero peripheral vision once in the zone. once he is out of the zone, you can explain to him what he did wrong and most of the times he gets it. he is very self aware and will work hard not to do it again. but this is his tendency. anyone else get what I'm talking about? teacher did not give us a specific plan as to how he works with our child. He thinks we should talk to a child psychologist which I have no problem with, but any thoughts???

seeker

Sun, Feb 02 2014, 11:03 pm

I do get what you're talking about; I have seen numerous kids with this "zone" tendency that you describe so well.

I don't think it's complete negligence on the teacher's part that it took so long to bring it up, because this type of issue can take a while to put your finger on. Asking a lot of questions can be normal, or normal-nudnicky, then eventually you start to realize maybe the kid has an actual difficulty letting go of things, and then you take some time to keep an eye on it and see if that's actually happening, and by then there are just a couple of weeks left until PTA so you figure you'll wait until you see the parent then. Especially if the class size is larger, I don't think it's surprising that it took a while to catch on. This is a more subtle issue than the ones that jump out at you in the first couple of months of school.

That said, I fully agree that you should see a psychologist who specializes in evaluation of school-age children. The problem you describe could stem from several places and it would be irresponsible for anyone here to suggest diagnoses. I doubt it's OCD, if that's any comfort, but I do think it's likely *something* and the more thoroughly and expertly you explore it, the more likely you are to get to work on it effectively.

Definitely don't ignore it or "wait and see" because these things definitely DO tend to get worse over time without intervention, in my experience.

Good luck! Hugs!

5*Mom

Mon, Feb 03 2014, 3:44 am

The psychological term is "shifting cognitive set" or cognitive flexibility. It's an executive function. If it exists in isolation and this is really the only concern about your son (and he doesn't have any other OCD-like tendencies), it is not likely to be part of a syndrome or disorder. Sometimes cognitive skills develop unevenly. This is one that can be worked on and improved.

If there are other concerns that go along with this one, a comprehensive eval by a pediatric neuropsychologist is probably a good idea. If this is really the only thing that seems "off" about your son, you can probably take him to a GREAT therapist who specializes in executive functioning. SLPs often do this and can provide an informal eval to identify the root of this issue (it can vary: cognitive flexibility, emotional regulation...) and treat it by teaching him skills and coping strategies.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Feb 03 2014, 6:21 am

OP, I realize you were very upset when you wrote this post, but I'm having a hard time figuring out which part of your meeting was "terrible". Did they yell at you? Make you feel like a bad parent? Tell you your son was a bad kid? Scratching Head

It sounds to me like they are trying to work with your son, and figure out how to make his time in the classroom more productive and enjoyable.

If you could clarify exactly what it was that specifically upset you, maybe we could help you sort out your thoughts.