How do 'young' couples support themselves financially?

shalhevet

Wed, Apr 25 2007, 5:41 am

breslov wrote:

And most schools are either paid for or subsidized by the israeli government (even yeshivas) so schooling is a ton cheaper.

Private chadarim and yeshivas, which is the type of education most chareidim choose here for their sons, are not government-subsidized. But of course, are much cheaper than in America.

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Not to mention that traveling is even cheaper because as an oleh, you can get a monthly bus pass for 145 shekel to go anywhere in the country- think about how much money you're saving either on busses compared to brooklyn prices or on gas.

OK, but you won't be an oleh for ever...

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Oh, and other ways I save money:
Go away for shabbos often, or at least don't have a million guests over. The more guests you have, the more expensive buying all the food for them is.

Sorry, but I found this annoying. What you are basically saying is sponge off everyone else. Mad

You don't have guests b/c it's more money (I'm not saying you should if you can't afford it, but it's the attitude which isn't nice) but other people should host you, so that you can save money.
Anyway, once you lose those bus privileges it might be cheaper to stay home than travel.

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Oh, and I don't wear a sheitel. Even my 20 different tichels is a lot cheaper than just one sheitel. And I don't have to pay to get my sheitel "done" once a month.

I also don't get mine done anywhere near once a month.

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I'm sure I'll come up with ideas.
Oh, and not to mention the fact that I've heard repeatedly here. In israel, you see so much more hashgacha pratis with money. Hashem sends you money exactly when you need it, even if you think "How am I possibly gonna pay my rent this month" Hashem finds a way to get it to you.

Absolutely! Very Happy

Seraph

Wed, Apr 25 2007, 9:04 am

Oh--- about the bus pass- I keep on forgetting this detail- you can only get that bus pass if you live in Yesha.

And the only people I go to for shabbos are my parents or his parents etc... Meaning they want me to come anyhow, but instead of insisting on staying home and having a million guests, I'll go away occasionally...
And even once my bus pass runs out... Tremps!!!

And about sheitels- see how much I know about them? I've never had one nor has my mom ever worn one. All I know is that the second your sheitel gets wet, people run off to the sheitel macher. Or if its humid and ur sheitel gets frizzy, run off to the sheitel macher...

All I was trying to say that it IS possible to live off the salary of a person who never went to college... As long as you don't live extravagantly.

Motek

Thu, Apr 26 2007, 10:10 am

breslov wrote:

Go away for shabbos often, or at least don't have a million guests over. The more guests you have, the more expensive buying all the food for them is. And if you make shabbos, you don't need beef. Or gefilte fish. You can use chicken and tuna fish and you got your bussar vidagim.

Ever hear the Chazal that what you spend on Shabbos, Hashem pays you back? Story of Yosef Mokir Shabbos? That what you spend l'kavod Shabbos does not come out of what was designated for you on Rosh Hashana? That the best and finest is for Shabbos?

Shabbos is not a time to scrimp!

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Apr 26 2007, 10:49 am

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And after reading this whole thread, I had something else to add, how we manage.

For the first few months of marriage, I was working and my husband learning. Once I couldn't work anymore, my husband got a job and I've been more of a housewife.

How do we manage?
We live in Israel. I know you're gonna say that's nuts, that living in Israel is more expensive, but its not true.

mostly but not everything in israel is less expensive, I live in israel too:)

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My husband and I have a nice apt with two bedrooms and a big backyard that we pay 350 dollars a month for. Not bad at all. And if you don't have money for that, you can always live in a caravan. I heard a two bedroom caravan can be as little as 200 dollars a month (or maybe less), and they even have half caravans with one bedroom, and I can't tell you the exact price.

not everyone would want to even think of living in a caranan;) I would love it but my husband would totaly flip if I came up with that suggestion:)

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A lot cheaper than living in the states. Oh, and for making aliya you get money from the government (a nice amount) and possibly from Nefesh BNefesh as well.

true if you come now. when I came there was no such things as nefesh b'nefesh:) but we came anyway;)

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And most schools are either paid for or subsidized by the israeli government (even yeshivas) so schooling is a ton cheaper.

my husband and I talk about this one all of the time (and we dont even have children yet:>) schooling in this country (not the charedi ones, as shalhevet mentioned) is MUCH cheaper than in chutz laaretz and I am so looing forward to that:)

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Oh, and other ways I save money:
Go away for shabbos often, or at least don't have a million guests over. The more guests you have, the more expensive buying all the food for them is. And if you make shabbos, you don't need beef. Or gefilte fish. You can use chicken and tuna fish and you got your bussar vidagim.

we didnt like this one as it got annoying to go away and not sleep in our own beds, but I see where you are coming from with this one.
beef? I never in my life had beef on shabbat, but I agree with you about the fish, only a few weeks ago my husband and I started doing that, we make kiddush and have tuna with crackers and then wait about 45 minutes to have lunch. its a great way to have dagim:)

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Oh, and I don't wear a sheitel. Even my 20 different tichels is a lot cheaper than just one sheitel. And I don't have to pay to get my sheitel "done" once a month.

I agreew with you. I find suuuuuuch nice scarves for 10 - 15 shekels that are lovely even for shabbat:)

shalhevet

Thu, Apr 26 2007, 11:00 am

Motek wrote:

breslov wrote:

עשה שבתך חול ואל תצטרך לבריות
Make your Shabbos like a weekday and don't use other people to lend/ give you.

Motek, if you can it's very nice and of course you should save the best you can afford for Shabbos. But many people in Israel would reach the level of
תצטרך לבריות
to buy beef for Shabbos. For many people chicken/ turkey is something special only for Shabbos.

Seraph

Thu, Apr 26 2007, 10:28 pm

Marion wrote:

breslov wrote:

Oh--- about the bus pass- I keep on forgetting this detail- you can only get that bus pass if you live in Yesha.

Ma'ale Adumim is technically in Yesha (we get all the Moatza notices)...and such a pass does not exist. Nor did it seem to exist when I lived in Jerusalem and commuted to work in Rosh Tzurim in Gush Etzion. How exactly do you define Yesha?

Ask in your moetza- got to moetzet binyamin in psagot- or call them up first, and get it that way.
Are you sure such a pass does not exist? Its possible it does, but you just don't know about it...
And if you were living in jerusalem but working outside, you're not considered a yesha resident, so wouldnt have gotten it then.

Marion

Fri, Apr 27 2007, 3:06 am

breslov wrote:

Marion wrote:

breslov wrote:

Oh--- about the bus pass- I keep on forgetting this detail- you can only get that bus pass if you live in Yesha.

I think you are talking about a pass that is not for Egged...like maybe for the moatza busses? If it was for Egged, Egged would know about it, even in Tachana Mercazit in Jerusalem, and would be able to tell me how to get one. It's not around the corner for me to to to Psagot...how do you suggest I get there? Oh, and I work from 8 to 5:30 every day, so I don't think they'll be open, if I do make it after work.

Seraph

Fri, Apr 27 2007, 4:04 am

Marion wrote:

No, its an egged pass. Its good on all egged busses all over israel.
I'll read to you what it says on the pass.
Teudat Hanacha L'Oleh, bichol kavei rgged lim'at haketa'im. It's good for a year- each year you have to renew. Theres a picture of me on it, 3 egged logos, and my teudat zehut number and name. You have to get that from the moetza- call up the moetza in psagot and see if they have a reccomendation.
Once you have that ID card, you can buy an oleh chofshi chodshi from tachana merkazit in Jerusalem.
Its worth it to look into. I know many people who have it.

shalhevet

Thu, May 03 2007, 12:52 pm

Motek wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

עשה שבתך חול ואל תצטרך לבריות
Make your Shabbos like a weekday and don't use other people to lend/ give you.

This thread is "how do young couples support themselves." Scrimping on Shabbos expenses is not how one supports oneself. On the contrary, if you spend on Shabbos, you get it back. The halacha not to borrow applies to those it applies to. I wasn't advocating borrowing to make a Shabbos you cannot afford.

So when people are in financial difficulties they have to cut back on Shabbos expenses too. Obviously the best they have should be saved for Shabbos. Unfortunately today many people have to borrow (or increase their overdraft) for Shabbos expenses. Honouring Shabbos doesn't mean buying things indiscriminately. I remember being a guest at the home of a big talmid chochom one Shabbos and the 'basar' was chicken pupiks in the cholent. I think my post was in response to your reply to someone who said they eat tuna as their 'dagim'. It's a fine line sometimes, keeping both these ma'amarei Chazal.

shalhevet

Thu, May 03 2007, 2:38 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

Shalhevet, when I say that, it seems like no one believes me. Do they really think they can buy designer clothes, expensive furs, get take out food and hire a housecleaner, all in the name of Shabbos?

You have to honour Shabbos, not oneself. The test is if they would do the same for a poor family. If they are honouring Shabbos they want Shabbos to be honoured by that poor family too. But if they are only interested in it for themselves, then....
And hiring a housecleaner means you are not honouring Shabbos by cleaning the house yourself... (Not that I think people shouldn't have cleaning help, just don't say it's money l'kovod Shabbos).

loveit

Wed, May 16 2007, 9:41 am

As a newly married couple in southern California, I felt I just had to respond. I think that it is very unfair to say that people who can't support themselves should not get married. My husband and I are finishing graduate school and when we got married last summer there was no way we would (or even can now) support ourselves. Our parents felt that it was important for us to get married sooner rather than later. My fil always said that $ shouldn't get in the way of being with the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Many people work hard to go to school and build a career only to realize that they are middle age and having difficulty finding a partner.

Fortunately, I am blessed with extremely supportive parents and inlaws who don't think that we should have to worry about finances because it can often lead to the dissolution of relationships. As long as we are in school and being responsible, our parents have been very generous. Since we are both finishing graduate school, mu husband doesn't work and I only work part time to build my resume and get internship credits. My husband is 26 and I am 23, very responsible, however we are not in a position to support ourselves. Soon however we will, but we know that the community we are in is extremely expensive and that private school for our children will cost more than our college educations!

I don't think that $ should ever get in the way of building a fmaily and life for yourself. I know that not everyone has the resources and support that we have but I see families in our neighborhood with much less and many children, all in private school and with wonderful shabbos meals, so I know its possible.

Before anyone thinks we are brats, we aren't. We understand how hard our parents worked in their lives in order to support their children and they know that we are extremely devoted children and truly appreciative of what they have done for us. When we see the diversity of families in our community in terms of finances, we know how fortunate we are and that we should never take it for granted.

Motek

Thu, May 31 2007, 2:14 pm

shalhevet wrote:

You have to honour Shabbos, not oneself.

When you wear bigdei Shabbos, is it 100% to honor the Shabbos with nothing in it for you?

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If they are honouring Shabbos they want Shabbos to be honoured by that poor family too.

If a man pays a lot of money for a special, mehudar esrog, that doesn't mean that when he provides tzedaka funds for other people to buy esrogim, that he wants his money to be used for the same quality esrog as his own. A rav could very well pasken, better that more people be provided with kosher esrogim, than fewer with more expensive ones.

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And hiring a housecleaner means you are not honouring Shabbos by cleaning the house yourself...

So if I don't pluck the feathers off my chicken and kasher them myself, l'kavod Shabbos, but buy them ready-to-use from the store, I'm not honoring the Shabbos by doing it myself.

I pay for that service. The money I use for those chickens, or for the maid or for store-bought other products (I don't make my own candles, but I buy them, l'kavod Shabbos) is used for the sake for Shabbos. I may also enjoy the food/the clothes/the cleanliness, so yes, my motives are not 100% for the sake of heaven.