give me one reason to be happy on purim

amother

Tue, Mar 11 2014, 10:43 pm

freidasima wrote:

3) You have hope. You are still actively going on and doing things to try and have children. Remember that hope and know that as long as you have it, you have what to hope for and look forward to. That in itself is a state that should give you joy on Purim.

I too have been wondering on how to get through Purim this year. It is strange-- some years I am fine but this year I am NOT. And we are in the situation where this is no hope whatsoever. I would do anything to be in the situation where we could still hope... Hope is a very powerful thing and when that is taken away a person can hit rock bottom.

OP and others in the same situation -- I wish you all a way to find happiness. I wish I knew how.

amother

Wed, Mar 12 2014, 8:18 pm

amother wrote:

One reason to be happy: You could be married to an abusive husband.

Second reason to be happy: Dr. Grazi has Jewish donor eggs.

I am a different amother.
I was beginning to feel chizuk after reading all these uplifting posts until I read this one. My heart skipped a beat after reading your insensitive post. Apparently you're unaware that not all woman are eligible to receive donor eggs. Apparently you're unaware that many of the greatest poskim say that there are halachic problems involving the use of donor eggs. Yes my DH and I have done our research in this matter. And yes I will enjoy Purim in spite of what you wrote because I am thankful for what I do have, BH.
As quoted by Dr. Yael Respler: "People should think before they speak. People should ask themselves: Will my words be hurtful to the listener?"

gold21

Wed, Mar 12 2014, 8:23 pm

amother wrote:

Here's something to be grateful for on Purim: you're not nasty like the Amother you quoted.

1workingmom

Thu, Mar 13 2014, 9:00 am

Posters please reply with sensitivity here. Its very painful for a childless couple to go thru any yomtov, especially Purim. Yomtov is always the hardest. I remember one specific seder night where I just couldn't handle the ma nishtanu so I escaped to the bathroom & cried my lungs out.
Purim revolves around children & its very tough. Those that posted harsh replies, I will be you dan l'kaf zechus that you don't grasp the difficulty a childless couple goes thru. Let me bentch you that you should never in your life experience this kind of pain. Its an inner pain, usually hidden.

Back to the original poster, maybe try doing something nice, like distributing mm in a nursing home to the elderly. Do you have other childless couples in your neighborhood? Are they getting together? Maybe join them, this will make you feel a lot better. I know we have a gathering in my area on Purim.
I always try to schedule something nice & fun with dh a day after purim, atleast I have something to look forward to.
Hatzlucha to you!

gold21

Thu, Mar 13 2014, 10:31 am

1workingmom wrote:

I agree that the jewish culture, especially the holidays, are centered around children. I wish there was more of a focus on the adults, particularly on adult females- because it's easy to lose sight of the fact that we ourselves have to grow and develop spiritually, since everything is pretty much about the Men and the Kids. Women just enable the men and the kids to do their thing. U know? But the thing is, we do count, and we are important, and our value has nothing to do with the state of our uterus (or the status of the Ring on our finger).

That doesn't mean I don't love and appreciate my husband and kids- I love them very much and appreciate them very much. But I need to develop my own self too- at the end of the day I'm still an individual and need the holidays to inspire ME too because you know what? I matter. But in our world, that's hard to do sometimes, since there's not much catered to adult women (other than cooking for everyone else LOL).

I wish I could re-write the cultural norms of our society, but I can't, since I'm not rich, well-connected, influential, or famous; I'm just an anonymous random poster on an anonymous random website saying what I really think to whoever wants to listen.

People that posted mean replies are either socially awkward, in a really bad mood, or mean-spirited people. You don't have to go through IF to understand that it's a really hard thing to go through. All you need is a functioning IQ, a kind heart, and an interest in others. A dumbed-down post like "dr grazi has jewish donor eggs" does not reflect well on the person who posted that. I'm going to assume the poster was simply in a very bad mood.