bride and groom dancing (NOT the mitzva tantz)

Crayon210

Wed, Apr 18 2007, 1:14 pm

greenfire wrote:

Crayon210 wrote:

Non-chassidim who hold hands while leaving the chuppah are also doing something improper, unless they specifically have a minhag to do so (which I have never heard of; please correct me if I'm wrong).

YOU ARE WRONG!!!

Wow, that was a really nice way to correct someone.

Anyway, as I said, if it's the family's minhag, then it's fine. It's those who do so of their own accord that are doing something wrong.

amother

Wed, Apr 18 2007, 1:47 pm

we are in a world with all kinds of people I personally kissed my husband on the lips under the chuppah after he broke the cup. I felt I deserved this I am owed this, after all if you may kiss the bride why cant you kiss the kallah!

Ruchel

Wed, Apr 18 2007, 2:05 pm

amother wrote:

I've seen the dvd of my cousin's chupa, and they kissed.

Ima'la

Wed, Apr 18 2007, 2:10 pm

Crayon, why do you consider a parent and child (of opposite gender) "mixed" on the same level of people who are not related? I really don't see that as being the same.

Crayon210

Wed, Apr 18 2007, 2:15 pm

Mixed dancing is not tzanua, regardless of who is involved. It's worse if the people are unrelated, but mixed dancing is not appropriate (according to Chabad psak) even within a family.

Ima'la

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 12:55 am

I also wasn't referring to mitzva tantz - that's based on minhag and a different story. What I have seen was at MO or modern yeshivish weddings. At the yeshivish one, as the chosson, kallah, and both sets of parents ended up dancing in one big circle, I saw the chosson & kallah look at each other and shrug, like "What can we do about it?"

mimivan

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 1:04 am

I've seen it in CH, among some of the "best families" and do not know how they can ignore what Rav Marlow z'l has said about the issue, but what do I know, I'm just a BT...

I thought this was the origin of why we break the glass at a wedding. I heard the tradition started when celebrations were getting a bit out of hand and the gadol of that generation picked up a glass and smashed it on the floor. The purpose was to remember that even in joyus times, we are still in galus, we stilll have to watch ourselves and have Yirat Shamaim. So we remember the B.H was destroyed as well.

I've seen alot of what passes as "merriment" at weddings that is just too much. Like last summer, (In Jerusalem) among one of the "best families" seminary girls dancing barefoot Rolling Eyes

I guess I could just look away... but it saddens me. Crying

bashinda

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 6:41 am

amother wrote:

I thought frum people didn't do public displays of affection, because well, it's not tsnius and it's a private thing.

also, kissing the bride is a non jewish custom. should we also follow other non jewish wedding customs? Rolling Eyes

TzenaRena

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 7:18 am

mimivan wrote:

I've seen alot of what passes as "merriment" at weddings that is just too much. Like last summer, (In Jerusalem) among one of the "best families" seminary girls dancing barefoot Rolling Eyes

Do you mean without socks? or just shoes?

mimivan

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 7:28 am

The girls in question had no stockings, no shoes, bare legs...and this was a haredi wedding! (there were only 3 or 4 girls doing this, but still). And no, they weren't recent BTs...

brooklyn

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 7:41 am

mimivan wrote:

I've seen alot of what passes as "merriment" at weddings that is just too much. Like last summer, (In Jerusalem) among one of the "best families" seminary girls dancing barefoot Rolling Eyes

I guess I could just look away... but it saddens me. Crying

So what is such a big deal about girls dancing barefoot in the ladies section?

mimivan

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 9:16 am

What would be the problem for women to be wearing only bikinis on the women's side? Because as we know, ALL the men at weddings NEVER take a peek! LOL

Mitzvahmom

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 9:23 am

You know what, this is one of my fears, for if/when I get married again.

My family did not make it to the first marriage... But defiantely I will need almost three sep dance spaces..

One for men, one for women and my family. LOL LOL

Granted most likely I would have to include a note.

This will be a religious wedding where men and women dance sep., and eat sep. If this makes you uncomfortable your welcome to come to one of the sheva brachas (dinners following). But as it is MY wedding, I would appreciate it if you would respect MY feelings as I do in YOUR homes. (I.e. I bring inkosher food and donot point out constantly that I keep kosher and they do not and I am respectful towards them not rude)

shalhevet

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 9:26 am

Crayon210 wrote:

We were told by our (Litvish) rav that we SHOULD hold hands. I think it has to do with the kinyan.

The rest of this thread about mixed dancing is clearly assur. Chassidim have a mitzva tanz where the kalla dances with her father on the men's side and the reason they do that is that is their minhag. Which does not give a heter for anyone else to dance mixed. In Litvish circles there is no mitzva tanz either.

The poster who wrote about 'You may now kiss the bride'. That line isn't taken from a Jewish wedding ceremony.

greenfire

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 9:30 am

mimivan wrote:

What would be the problem for women to be wearing only bikinis on the women's side? Because as we know, ALL the men at weddings NEVER take a peek! LOL

I think it would be quite difficult for the man to take a peek under the womans dress to see her barefoot ... why would they go through the trouble...

as for the dressing appropriate ... mitzvamom ... here's a true joke ... not mine but someone elses ... a note was sent to please wear long sleeve and long dresses ... the mom came with long sleeves and a long dress ... she turned around ... and much to everyones amazement ... she was wearing a dress well that basically it was backless - but she had sleeves and length ... embarrassed

moral of the story ... be careful what you ask for!!!

greenfire

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 9:41 am

Mitzvahmom wrote:

and that would be my family!!!!!!!!!!! eek eek eek.. anyways..must first find the guy right? Wink

oh my family would dress tzinus ... but you wouldn't forget them ...

Mitzvahmom

Thu, Apr 19 2007, 9:46 am

greenfire wrote:

oh my family would dress tzinus ... but you wouldn't forget them ...

My family would create a third dancing floor so they could dance together.... Rolling Eyes

anyways...life is crazy