How to inspire 12 YO who wants to abandon mitzvos?

debsey

Tue, Sep 16 2014, 7:31 pm

amother wrote:

A lot of good points, which I have forwarded to my dear bro.

I do think it's social as in,"My friends don't keep Shabbos, what would I do all day?", not, "I need to go to a gymnastics class".

Which is, of course, a function of not making sure to involve your child with other Shomer Shabbos kids in the area (of which there are, certainly) as well as not avoiding throwing her together with many non-Shomer Shabbos kids.

And a poster above is also right, daven, invite & have a good time. We can only try.

Still, anyone have exciting ideas for this trip to Israel (I hope DB is not wasting his money, because I don't really think it's the answer...)

OK, she's 12. and you are right - "everyone else is doing it" is pretty compelling logic when you are 12. That's why we ARE careful who we allow our 12 year olds to befriend, as your DB is learning to his sorrow.
In this case, I'd tell him to do little or nothing other than ask her to not gratuitously break shabbos - so that she retains consciousness of the day, stay close to her her, and hope she matures and realizes that "everyone else is doing it" is not a great recipe for a mindful, meaningful life (thought it pretty much DOES define the logic of a tween and early teen)
Like I'd tell her - I won't force you to not go out with friends, but anything you don't MUST do on shabbos, I'll be so proud if you wait. Going to friend's party - not so easy to skip. Updating your Facebook status- can be skipped till Saturday night. Etc.