Warm, caring, sem in EY for BY type girl. Does it Exist?

amother

Tue, Oct 28 2014, 6:55 pm

Hello,

Can someone please help me out here?

DD is very shy, quiet, and the homesick type. she is thinking about giving Seminary in EY a shot. Are there any Seminaries, for a Bais Yakov girl, that have staff that are warm, caring, form relationships with the girls, make sure they have a place to go for Yom tov, check on them to help them with their homesickness, girls that are down to earth, not Jappy?

This is sort of what we are looking for....trying to find out if it exists!!

Dev80

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:45 am

From the few girls I've met from Machon Raaya, it really seems like it's that type of school. Available teachers, girls can always stay in for shabbos or they help with plans, they have a lot of nice trips (even within jerusalem), I get a really nice impression about the school.

Dev80

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 3:46 am

Every school will have their JAPs and I don't think Machon Raaya is an exception but it also has the down to earth sweet sweet out of town type (and sweet sweet in town too!)

buster

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 5:18 am

Rabbi Belsky's motto at Ateres is "We don't accept japs!"

It's for more OOT, openminded yet straight BY girls.

chani8

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 5:19 am

amother wrote:

How does it even make sense to send this type of girl out of town? She sounds like an introvert and sensitive type who prefers to be close to family. Why are you sending her to EY, so far away from home?

amother

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 9:13 am

chani8 wrote:

Because "this girl" would like to give it a shot, spread her wings, gain more confidence, and wants to. Thanks but I wasn't asking for an opinion if I should or should not, rather, place recommendations. And for the record, I see nothing wrong with the term JAP, as it helps explain what we are NOT looking for, and is merely an adjective IMHO.

amother

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 9:36 am

chani8 wrote:

I'm shocked that calling girls "JAPS" is acceptable language at all.

R' Belsky is a very real person, very tznius w/ girls. Has 3 daughters who work in school. He is very into being REAL. There are girls from NY/NJ...wtvr u call "in town", but there is a realness there that you do often find on OOT. (I am from NY btw!) Maybe the word is "natural".
Like first night supper/shabaton, e/o just talks to e/o and feels very comfortable as opposed to a sem where the girls come together from the same school-like 8 BYA girls + 8 BYB +8 BYC girls...
so in those sems the girls stick to e/o until make other friends.

amother

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 9:42 am

I agree with the MAchon Raaya recomendation. From the few girls I know who've gone there it sounds similar to what you want. I think it would be wise to find girls from your location who've gone to these schools and talk about it with them.

newmommy:)

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 9:48 am

I went to machon raaaya when it first started, and I've visited a couple times since, definately seems like that type of place. pm me for more info - or u can ask her, whatever you want

chani8

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 9:52 am

amother wrote:

JAPS is a derogatory term used to mock jewish women and girls. It's not appropriate.

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 9:58 am

It's only about some of them. I fail to see why not appropriate but I am not from a PC culture at all! lol

chani8

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 10:11 am

Ruchel wrote:

It's only about some of them. I fail to see why not appropriate but I am not from a PC culture at all! lol

A university professor once explained that whenever you say, "them", be assured you're on a slippery slope of a slur.

Calling someone a jewish american princess is a slur on jewish women. It's not a compliment. Even in this thread its not being used in a complementary manner.

Scrabble123

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 10:16 am

I agree with Chani8 on this one. That fact that a head of a seminary can use such a word is very telling. It's one of those words that even if you feel there is no problem using it, you keep quiet. It's not very refined for someone in power to use such a word.

OP. Maybe you have the ideal seminary wrong? I would imagine that if your daughter likes her privacy she wouldn't want an overly warm seminary? Does she want to do it for friends or the experience? There's nothing wrong with going to a seminary and staying distanced in a healthy from others and the staff just to get the experience. Maybe she doesn't want to someone checking up on her, but you it is you who does?

PinkFridge

Wed, Oct 29 2014, 11:55 am

amother wrote:

And not all cities have in town options.