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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
Have you ever changed your opinion here?
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| No, I am who I am! |
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14% |
[ 9 ] |
| Yes, I have done an about-face |
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10% |
[ 7 ] |
| I have learned to respect groups I never prev understood |
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62% |
[ 40 ] |
| Other |
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12% |
[ 8 ] |
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| Total Votes : 64 |
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penguin
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 Tue, Dec 23 2014, 3:37 pm
Please see this thread, or, if you don't have patience to read the whole thing - basically, OP was looking for validation that she can wear skirts shorter than acceptable in her community in order to please her husband.
Almost everyone told her no.
OP came back and told us she has decided to listen to us.
Do you suppose this is the first time it has happened that someone changed their mind due to a discussion here?
Because, in case you haven't noticed, most conversations are about people saying what they predictably say, and everyone staying the same.
So I am wondering if this is a first?
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 1
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amother
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 3:48 pm
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I am much more open-minded after joining Imamother.
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7
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amother
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 3:55 pm
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So far I've taken lots of confidence and courage in my personal life when I was doubting if I'm doing the right thing or not.
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Delores
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 3:58 pm
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I change my sheets every week even when I'm too tired and busy because of something someone wrote about how clean sheets every week make a big difference and turns out she was right!
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13
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amother
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 4:19 pm
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I changed my Purim costume idea - as people found it offensive.
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15
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imasinger
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 4:33 pm
There are many times I have posted a mild opinion or just read without posting, and have changed an opinion from what I came in with.
I have seen plenty of times that people have changed their minds. But not all at once. Usually, it takes some thought and processing.
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debsey
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 4:38 pm
I think I've gotten INSIGHT into things that I didn't previously understand, about the mindset of people who hold diametrically opposed views to me. It doesn't change what I DO mostly, but it helps me understand things differently.
Here and there I've been sensitized to things that I may not have noticed before. Like a thread may have made me re-think a relationship with someone or helped me understand why someone acted in a certain way (IRL). One thread in particular helped me understand something one of my teenage daughters had said to me, which did change my stance on something having to do with a decision I made on her behalf. But I wasn't a poster in that thread!
That's why I chose "other." My identity is my identity. My beliefs are my beliefs. I wouldn't change a course of action based on a lot of anonymous feedback and opinions, unless I was ambivalent already.
debsey
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10
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causemommysaid
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 4:56 pm
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I became a lot more open minded but I'm not sure if that was imamother or life experience.
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Scrabble123
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 4:57 pm
Halachically I'm not going to do something because someone on an online forum says its allowed, but I would discuss it with a Daas Torah if it is intriguing to me.
Imamother does not impact my respect for different groups because I respect every individual and their opinion because that is what people deserve. I try to give each individual the benefit of the doubt that what they think, believe, and do is best for them. Sometimes its best because of shortcomings, but other times because it really is best. Even though all individuals have their limits and faults, we still all deserve to be respected and appreciated. Respect doesn't mean agreeing, but it means listening, valuing, and giving the benefit of the doubt that the other person's opinion is valid and true.
I also believe that there has been a lot on this site that has encouraged me to want to reach a deeper understanding of a concept that otherwise did not resonate with me for my future. There are things that I have realized about myself that need working on, and I have definitely learned a lot here that can be applied to many areas of my life.
There were times that I had an opinion but lacked certain facts, which when presented to me made me think differently. I'm that type of person in general. I'm pretty tough on facts, but when you bring me more facts, I'll reconsider everything and look for the truer, more factual picture. There are things that I have said that were not well liked, but that I still believe to be true.
I'd like to see Think1st get up-to-date on her vaccinations.... Then we can really start this thread.
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9
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dimyona
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 5:13 pm
I thought this meme would be relevant here:
As other posters have said, I don't think I've changed any of my prior beliefs. I have tried several bits of advice if I felt they could be useful, which is completely different.
The OP from that thread was asking for advice, and then followed it. That's different than coming with a preexisting conviction and changing it.
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4
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penguin
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 10:11 pm
| Quote: | | The OP from that thread was asking for advice, and then followed it. That's different than coming with a preexisting conviction and changing it. | I felt more like she was hoping for validation and fought pretty hard to maintain her original premise. I was impressed that she changed her mind in the end.
But this thread is not meant to be about her specifically, more about how things work in general. That picture is great. And then theres:
AND 
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Emotional
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 10:25 pm
| Delores wrote: | | I change my sheets every week even when I'm too tired and busy because of something someone wrote about how clean sheets every week make a big difference and turns out she was right! |
A big difference in what? In how well you sleep?
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Dolly Welsh
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Tue, Dec 23 2014, 10:35 pm
It's a valid hygiene concern. You can get skin problems. A friend of mine did.
I have learned a lot about how other Jews and other women think, on Imamother. I am grateful.
The faith of women is inspiring and validating.
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seeker
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Wed, Dec 24 2014, 12:57 am
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I haven't changed any major life philosophies but hearing others' perspectives has helped me change some of the details, things like what sorts of behavior to expect/accept from a child of a certain age, or if in the past I had been judgmental about something I saw someone else do, now I understand what reasons they could have had and wouldn't judge so harshly. This forum has also helped me put shalom bayis dilemmas into perspective.
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amother
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Wed, Dec 24 2014, 1:13 am
I would never change fundamental opinions or my way of life.
Like bc. I DON'T take it. No matter how many women will say it's your right, your body... .
What did change is my appreciation for life. I see how much people suffer....
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FranticFrummie
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Wed, Dec 24 2014, 2:32 am
I haven't changed my opinions on major things, but I have often softened my opposition and become more open to the other side's view of the discussion.
On smaller things I have changed my mind, and been grateful for the opportunity to be educated by other posters here.
Agree, disagree, or indifferent, it's never boring! 
I love you all.  (even you, Marina  )
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JMM-uc
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Wed, Dec 24 2014, 4:32 am
| amother wrote: | | I changed my Purim costume idea - as people found it offensive. |
Now I'm curious 
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amother
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Wed, Dec 24 2014, 5:08 am
On this topic, I am pretty open-minded and learn a lot from all of you, but there's one thing that really bothers me. It's when the OP is clear about her background, her hashkafas, what she wants, what she cares about and she is smashed by people who don't agree w/ her. If she's asking if she should change, this could be warranted, but if not, why?
I often have questions and could really gain from the women on here, but I don't b/c I don't want to be told by some on here that I am stupid, I don't think for myself and I ask a man for help w/ my personal life decisions (gasp). It makes my question into a mockery and I have a feeling that some women who understand me and/or have been in my situation are too scared to speak up b/c they don't want to get involved in the debate.
Obviously, if OP says s/t "off" by all standards (belief 13 Principals of Faith which this membership of the site is dependent on), then please speak up, but if you don't agree and don't have anything helpful to say, it really is hurtful.
I'm not talking about debates. That I like to hear what all different secs of religious Jews have to say. I am also not talking about in the middle of the thread if a debate starts. I am talking about people smashing OP and making her feel stupid.
.
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amother
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Wed, Dec 24 2014, 5:51 am
I have def. learned a lot here
a while back there was a thread about a devastated wife who felt like her world was coming to an end because her husband didn't stay to shmooze with her outside the hall during the wedding.
the responses from this thread taught me alot and made me realize that I too have some issues with the definition of a good marriage.
I have learned to never ever judge or jump to conclusions and IRL I hold back comments and responses much more since I have learned that you can never know what people are going through.
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shabbatiscoming
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Wed, Dec 24 2014, 6:56 am
nope. this site has not ever made me change my mind on fundamental things in my life.
this site has shown me how many different frum types of women there are out there and that we all have our opinions on things and that many of us (myself included ) are very strong willed about those opinions, but no, I have not changed my mind about things from here.
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