Ideas for ppl who dont dance @ weddings

MrsDuby

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 3:17 pm

My sister in law's wedding is coming up, and I'm looking for ideas for the many people who dont enjoy dancing at weddings. Yes, they'll do a little twirl when the Chosson / Kallah first come in, but the rest of the night is just chatting and can feel a little boring.

Have you ever been to a wedding where there was an activity or SOMETHING for the non-dancers ? Ive never seen it done, thats why I'm asking...

thank you -

singleagain

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 3:25 pm

I've never seen anything specifically set up for non-dancers, but a few ideas that come to mind.

*If there are babies/young children at the wedding, you can offer to hold/watch them so their mom can dance if the mom wants to dance
*Make sure the Kallah has water, maybe even get a nice water bottle with a sports top, so you won't worry about spilling a glass [also, if you know anyone else who will be red faced from dancing, have water for them
*Take pictures, even on your cell phone, and then send them to the couple. I'm sure they would appreciate it.
*Find out who's in charge of shtick, and offer to help keep track of it.
*Make sure the Kallah sits every so often.
*Posters with like Mazal Tov written on it, to fan the Kallah with.

hotmom

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 4:02 pm

Personally I think if one doesn't dance @ weddings one should come for chuppa. It looks very akward and slow, the groups of people standing around watching. They just take up room for the dancers. If you want to stand and watch... many halls have a gallery for that. Leave the space for the mesamchei hasimcha.

HonesttoGod

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 4:04 pm

hotmom wrote:

Yeah I am with you on this.
Recently at a family wedding I noticed a group of ladies just standing on the top table stage and around and watching. As if they are security or KGB trying to spot bad activity.
I also realized I see it at every single wedding of this community. These specific people just stand there and it looks so weird.
Either dance, or sit by a table and snack. Don't just stand and stare at those of us being masameach kalla.

Raisin

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 4:25 pm

hotmom wrote:

So Great Bubbie in her wheelchair should stay at home? Rolling Eyes

Not all Kallahs and chassanim like dancing either. I really dislike it and I hate the loud music. I danced at my wedding because that is what is done, but its really not my thing.

I do try and dance at weddings, but not all the time. I am happy sitting and chatting to people.

I would enjoy weddings a whole lot more if the music wasn't so darn loud.

greenfire

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 4:25 pm

you've got to be kidding - if we can't dance we can't come

has it ever occurred to you that some people want to be there regardless of their 2 left feet so they enjoy the simcha by watching

I'm glad I wasn't thrown out of my daughter's wedding Twisted Evil

p.s. there was a wedding I attended where the mother of the groom was not able to dance for health reasons & she was quite happy knowing there were a few people who could keep her mesameach because we didn't dance either

p.s.s. fill in your own punctuation Exclamation

MrsDuby

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 4:28 pm

haha ... thank you for chiming in.
YEs at EVERY wedding there are people who stand there and watch. I for one physically cant dance for too long so I often find myself in the hall/ lounge areas chatting with friends and family...

I've discussed this with other people who for whatever reason cant dance the whole night away, and we were wondering if there was another activity that the guests could do..

The things I've come up with are "photo booths" and "video guest books" - those kinds of things.

But I totally understand - that its awkward for people to just stand around and watch Smile

Raisin

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 4:35 pm

I think having a quieter area where people can talk is nice. I was at one wedding where the music filled the whole hall and you couldn't hear yourself think. Some relatives that I had not seen forever were there but we could hardly talk to each other at all since there was no quiet place.

What about a nice guest book that people can write mazel tov messages in?

Ask people to take pictures with their smartphones and upload them to an email or website.

MiracleMama

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 5:01 pm

Time spent not dancing usually ends up with me doing more eating and drinking so I try to dance as much as I can.

Even if you're not physically able to dance, there are always a bunch of "clappers" standing around the perimeter of the dance floor joining in the simcha at their own ability/ comfort level.

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 5:30 pm

When I was in my twenties I danced for hours at weddings. Now, I don't want to do more than the first dance. I am not infirm, just at a different stage of my life.

Watching the other guests dance is interesting to me for about two minutes, but it is quite popular among other non-dancers. I never thought it was a problem - do you think you are invisible if you are dancing? Of course people want to share in the joy and excitement, and seeing how the other guests are entertaining the bride and groom is part of that.

The main obstacle to enjoying weddings is the volume of the music. You will find plenty of guests in the lobby of the hall, spending time together between courses of the meal when the music is loudest.

This brings me to my main point - for many people, the opportunity to spend time together, especially a simcha, with extended family and friends is so precious, we really do want to chat with one another rather than whip ourselves into a frenzy with music blaring so loudly that you can't hear your own voice. It isn't really boring and I don't want to be put in charge of the shtick or directed to some kind of group activity.

hotmom

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 6:11 pm

If you come to my child's wedding I want you to dance! If you dislike dancing then stand at the end of the hall and chat with your friends... but what I mean is 'DON'T STAND RIGHT AROUND OR CENTER OF CIRCLE WATCHING!!'
And about the old granmas or aunts in wheelchairs....I think you have enough brains to understand I didn't mean them.
And for those who for health reasons can't dance.... sit by the tables by the wall...
I HATE THE STANDING CLOGGING CREW!!

Another point!! I think it's HORRIBLE!!! yes! HORRIBLE!! AND MESSY!!! to see watchers recording with their phones simchas... we pay photographers and videographers for a reason... I don't want my wedding pics and videos to be full of people standing with their phones in the air capturing moments...and blocking paid photographers views.
BEFORE YOU RESPOND... IMAGINE THIS AT YOUR OR YOUR CHILD'S WEDDING!!

MrsDuby

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 6:14 pm

I totally understand the frustration of people not dancing... or watching ... or videoing (whatever your issue may be)... but I was kind of looking for ideas for those people who for whatever reason arent dancing. If theres something they can do or partcipate in ...

Of course chatting is easy (and I agree wholeheartedly with the above poster who said that the music is SOOOO loud sometimes you cant chat!) ...

I was just looking for some suggestions of something we could do at a frum chassidishe wedding that isnt dancing.

Thank you all for your responses !
only simchas ...

groovy1224

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 6:25 pm

While I agree that it can be boring for those people who sit out for some/all of the dancing, I don't know if I'm in support of having an alternative activity..It's a wedding. You're there to celebrate with the baalei simcha, not for entertainment. I just feel like specifically having something for those people takes away from what it really is. I can't imagine any bride that wants to see her dance floor empty out bc people are busy with the sno cone machine.

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 7:51 pm

hotmom wrote:

Wow.

I would be more concerned about the paid videographer getting in the way of the activities naturally unfolding at a wedding celebration, which is not a staged event held for the benefit of the movie. Just a generation ago it was still kind of tacky to have a videographer (a little too over-the-top, unrefined) and now they take precedence over the guests. Oy.

While I agree that people are a little too fixated on their phones nowadays, why should guests not take home their own mementos of a happy occasion? When I was younger we all stood on chairs to get a good photo; now kids want a video. To me it is a sign that the guests are fully engaged in the event, not that they are encroaching on it.

I still can't understand the antipathy some feel toward people watching the dancing at a wedding. Your guests are not getting in the way - they are participating in the simcha!

joy613

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 9:48 pm

hotmom wrote:

This would not bother me at all at my child's wedding.

I really did not know this was such an issue to some people, that ladies who don't dance stand and watch.
I personally enjoy watching the dancing, I think it's so nice and fun to watch. Especially the kallah's friends with all their energy and dance moves.

greenfire

Tue, Dec 15 2015, 10:10 pm

hotmom wrote:

you cannot force people to dance ~ but you certainly can eliminate some guests by placing a box in the rsvp card [ ] dancer [ ] non-dancer and somehow renege the invite

hotmom wrote:

And for those who for health reasons can't dance.... sit by the tables by the wall...
I HATE THE STANDING CLOGGING CREW!!

as I mentioned it was the mother of the chosson ... but don't worry she can't defend her inability to dance due to health reasons, as she is dead ~ perhaps she is 'rolling in her grave' maybe that counts for something

Raisin

Wed, Dec 16 2015, 5:24 am

hotmom wrote:

I can't imagine for a minute why such people would bother me. I'm sure people were doing those things at my wedding and it was completely normal to me. (too bad I wasn't allowed to join them) Well, I got married pre smartphone but all the other stuff.

cuffs

Wed, Dec 16 2015, 5:51 am

I have 2 left feet but I still dance!
The chossen and kallah invited you to JOIN in their simcha! Being Mesameach them means dancing for them and making them happy!
Another activity going on during the dancing sounds pretty nasty to the chossen and kallah! Yeah you can take a break but tonight is their night, not yours.