What has life taught you?

amother

Periwinkle

Fri, Jan 01 2016, 5:59 am

I have learned that Hashem gives everyone exactly what they need. Not to judge others on the things they SEEM to have because you never know what comes along with it on the inside. Certainly not to be jealous of them!
My situation of being married to a sx addict has taught me that you really never ever will know what goes on behind closed doors.
I wish I can tell my friends who are constantly judging me and my looks and my clothing and my choice of spending money on myself what is really going on....
But all in all when I hear of other people's baggage I am sure Hashem gave me what is needed for me to live my life....and yes...although it's super painful!!!

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Jan 01 2016, 9:15 am

I've learned that as much as I grew up suffering in a dysfunctional home, and as much as I grew up in poverty, with two parents who expressed zero love to their children....it helped to always put my trust in Hakadosh Baruch Hu that whatever suffering I was going through was really the best for me and that one day it will be better.
I've learned that Hashem found me the perfect spouse who would share the burden of not having money once again even though we both work like dogs. We lived in cramped basement apartments for 14 years but I never gave up and told my husband...suffering has taught me that Hashem has a plan..I truly believed life would be better and Baruch Hashem we were finally fortunate to purchase our own comfortable home...much bigger than we had ever dreamed of having.
I've learned that pain and suffering can actually make a person a BETTER person...and I've learned that I always thought that I suffer more than anyone else out there and have discovered that no matter what I've been through there are people that have experienced a much harder life than me and for that alone I should feel fortunate and thankful to Hakadosh Baruch Hu for always being there for me even though I didnt always see it.

amother

Teal

Fri, Jan 01 2016, 9:32 am

I've learned that you can never judge anyone about anything ever. I have the perfect life with the perfect husband and adorable child. I don't think I really judged people in the past but since learning about his sx addiction and the fact that he cheated on me and how much it hurts and how I may do self care that people don't understand and there is no way anyone would know. There are things I would think odd about others but you really never know what's going on. Even when you are sure you do. My family doesn't know. They hopefully never will. They think I have the perfect husband who spoils me and lets me sleep in and takes great care of my child and always says yes to everything I ask. They'd never guess he cheated on me and his trying to get me to stay. And that I need more sleep because of the toll it's taking on me and the fact that I also work harder than him to make money right now. So anyway, like I said, I learned not to judge.

amother

Gray

Fri, Jan 01 2016, 10:10 am

I learned that people who seem like they are doing something out of pure altruism may have sub conscious ulterior motives. And that not everyone is so rational that you can assume they aren't lying to you if their doing so will ultimately cause them major harm.And that people can indeed do terrible things without being totally evil. So be very careful to follow Chazals advice about being wary of advice coming from those who stand to gain from you following it. Even if that gain is only their egos.

I've also learned that just because the solution to someone else's problems seems obvious to you and should be to them doesn't mean it really is.

amother

Coral

Fri, Jan 01 2016, 10:43 am

amother wrote:

I have learned that the only thing I can control is myself, and even that imperfectly, and only with great difficulty.

I have learned that the most important person I need to take care of is me.

I have learned that sometimes letting go is more heroic than holding on.

I have learned to be amused by what people say about me, knowing that they are only aware of tiny snippets of the story.

I have learned and accepted that hurt people hurt people, and the cycle of dysfunction must stop with me.

I have learned to ask the right people for help and not do it all alone.

I have learned that my inner voice about my own situation is wiser than the wisest of outsiders.

I have learned that God doesn't have any grandchildren, and I need not worry about my children any more than He does.

I have learned that I can only help someone who wants to be helped and accepts responsibility for the bulk of their own work. Otherwise it is not help but manipulation.

I have learned about the sting of bad advice, the burden of unwarranted blame, and the wounds left by betrayal.

I have learned that the human heart is capable of surviving pain I never knew existed outside the gates of hell.

Love this! Thank you for saying that for me!

amother

Salmon

Fri, Jan 01 2016, 1:22 pm

I have learned that the friends who keep in touch with you past high school are your friends for life and that the most important person to be friends with is yourself.

I am in the process of learning that even though there have been extremely hard times in the past, I need to be open to the beautiful parts of the present and the future.

I learned that though I have lost my mother does not mean that I have to be scared to love my husband and he is not going anywhere bli ayin hara.

I have learned that I can be a mother bH and that having children insures that I have taken the leap of faith that I will live to parent them past the age of when my mother passed away. I hope to walk them down to the chuppah- I will!! ImyH

I have learned that there is so much going on in each person's life- even if their issues seem petty to you they are issues to that person.

groisamomma

Fri, Jan 01 2016, 3:58 pm

amother wrote:

Whats with all the Imamothers here with jealous parents? What are they doing to hurt you now, when youre not living in their homes? Can I have just a bit of an idea?

Sure, when you post under your username.

amother

Orchid

Sat, Jan 02 2016, 8:07 am

That "shema yisrael" really means :-
Hashem. Is. One.

In other words, for example, if He chooses to give me money from one source and not another, it makes no difference. Or if I find out information from a source I was not expecting, the important thing is that I have the information, not that *** I **** think a a certain person "should " have told me and didn't. Or if someone doesn't do you a certain chessed but you get it from another source, it makes NO difference whatsoever.

They you are in control of very little and that's ok.

That you have no idea how much s person who looks like he is a loser is in fact a big tzaddk.

Not to expect life to be easy and straightforward (still working on this!).

shalhevet

Sat, Jan 02 2016, 3:56 pm

I learned that how happy you are is nothing to do with what happens to you, but how you choose to look at it. That it is your choice if you see your glass as half-full or half-empty, and that is what determines your happiness.

chometz

Sat, Jan 02 2016, 4:19 pm

To enjoy life and everything else that comes with it. To be ever grateful for our previous children that Hashem has blessed us with! To try my very best to be the best mother, wife, friend and person I can be.

amother

Tangerine

Sat, Jan 02 2016, 10:05 pm

That everything hangs by a thread.

That we don't have nearly as much control as we think.

That people don't spend half as much time judging us as we give them credit for.

That my body is a beautiful gift from Hashem.

That to have peace and happiness, we need to first be kind to ourselves.

amother

Tangerine

Sat, Jan 02 2016, 10:28 pm

amother wrote:

Whats with all the Imamothers here with jealous parents? What are they doing to hurt you now, when youre not living in their homes? Can I have just a bit of an idea?

Another mother here to say that yes, it's certainly possible. And probably one of the most painful things for a child to have to come to terms with.

amother

Apricot

Sun, Jan 03 2016, 12:33 am

I have learned that I am smart even though I failed many exams in school. I have also learned that s-xual abuse has lifelong effects and as much as I heal it will always be in my shadows. I have learned that the Torah is sweet and if youre having trouble seeing that then you havent learned it right, work on it so you find sweetness. I have learned that God is real. He exists and he is patiently waiting for our return. I have learned that I can have a Love relationship with God and I am madly in love.

I have also learned that some people will always judge you. Period.

Life has been a teacher. Each year is another grade up in the school of life. The older you get, the wiser, and thus--- the more challenging. Our levayas will be our graduations. We have to work all of our life to ensure we graduate with honors.

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Jan 03 2016, 12:40 am

Ive learned that some people enjoy making you feel like an underachiever by comparing your success to hers or letting you know that they manage in an even more challanging situation. Ive learned not to be afraid of such people or even such thoughts and appreciate all the struggles that I managed to overcome