Taking kids on vacation during school time

amother

Bisque

Thu, Feb 18 2016, 4:54 pm

I think it is disrespectful to the school and to the teachers to do vacations during scheduled school time, and it sends a message to the child that school is optional, which can cause the child to lose respect for school.

Aksoz, it is very detrimental for middle school and older aged boys to miss learning for extended periods of time. The boys learn sooooo much in one morning alone, they can really fall behind in gemora for unnecessary absences and this can create a risky downward spiral. I wouldn't risk it at all for boys learning mishnayos and gemora.

rachelbg

Fri, Feb 19 2016, 7:01 am

As a teacher, my opinion is that you have to know your child, and how it might affect their performance in school in the days, weeks and months following the trip. I see students all the time who are gone for anywhere from a few days to a week, come back, and are so lost in the gaps of material, discussions, and homework missed that they have giant challenges bouncing back. This can easily impact their motivation (or more likely, lack thereof) and take them on significant academic roller coasters. I've seen plenty students decide to give up when they couldn't bounce back from vacation fast enough.

ThAt said, I'm not a fan. I wouldn't do it to my kids unnecessarily past preschool.

princessleah

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 11:49 am

tichellady wrote:

You can also look it as nice family bonding time. I think it's great for grandparents to spoil their grandchildren, excessive love and attention from grandparents is wonderful. Not sure why the fact that it was expensive was relevant. If the grandparents could afford to take their grandkids on a trip, I think it's a lovely way for them to use their money.

My point was, they dafka did not take them during school vacation because it was more expensive, not that it was an expensive trip. But the grandparents, in the interest of saving money, pulled them out of school to take them.

princessleah

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 11:53 am

Delores wrote:

Dear Princessleah,
I don't know what 'school' is like on the parallel universe you are apparently from but here on Earth if a kid misses a day and a half to go to Disney World with his family (!) he could only come out of it 'happier and more emotionally resilient'

I'm not worried per se about the material missed, or the kids being able to catch up or not. You're right, it's only a day and a half and the kids would be fine.

I worry more about the message it send to the kids about the place of school in their lives. Is it something they just do to keep them busy while the adults are at work? Or is it an essential part of their lives that is not to be missed unless there are urgent circumstances?
They had a day off that week. They had Thanksgiving two weeks later. Followed by over a week for winter break. They're not lacking for time off.

I've heard from some teachers that they don't like when parents do this. A lot of parents, because they are paying such high tuition, feel like the school is working for THEM. In a sense, they are right, but this kind of stuff reinforces it in a bad way. Many schools have policies about teachers not taking off the day before Thanksgiving, extending long weekends, etc. But parents do this constantly.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 12:30 pm

rachelbg wrote:

I was discussing this with my colleague who finds making up the gaps challenging. I find kids think the class should cater to them when they return, and it creates behavior issues. My subject is more repetitive while my colleague's is more linear.

It similarly sends negative messages when non emergency dental and Dr appointments are scheduled during school hours.

Taking vacations during school time creates jealousies in students whose parents are not able to provide the same.

Fox

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 12:50 pm

Like almost everyone with lots of ideas and no actual kids, I used to have very strong feelings about this. Bad chinuch, sent the wrong message, etc.

Once my kids were in school, though, I began to have a more nuanced opinion.

We happen to have a very, very small extended family, so my kids were never absent for family simchas.

But there were plenty of families where it seemed like the kids were gone at least 10-15 percent of the time because a cousin was getting married or a second-cousin was bar mitzvah or whatever. And if a sibling got married, they were out an entire week or more!

After a while, I began to resent the double-standard. It seemed like the schools didn't care how much your kid was out of school as long as you defined it as "a family simcha."

While I certainly don't begrudge anyone traipsing around the country for an endless round of bar mitzvahs, vorts, weddings, sheva brochos, etc., I'm not entirely sure I see the difference between that and a family vacation.

Personally, if I were a school administrator, I'd treat it similarly to the way many companies do: offer a generous and realistic number of "personal days" that families may use as they see fit. If a family needs to exceed that number for some unique reason, they may appear before a committee to plead their case. Otherwise, their kids lose their places in the school or must make private, approved arrangements for remediation.

I suppose it would be hard to do that, though, if I had to stand guard to make sure no mommies wore sneakers within the no-sneaker zone.

amother

Purple

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 2:19 pm

Fox wrote:

My daughters go to school in another city and the principal is extremely strict about them not missing school, despite the fact that they are young teenagers away from home. She begrudgingly allows them to miss a certain amount of days per year. Yet then I hear other girls are away for weeks on end on vacation or for a siblings wedding. Girls who go home every night. Apparently its more important to be at your siblings every sheva brochos then see your parents because your are homesick. Rolling Eyes