Don’t try to outfrum your rav

Ruchel

Mon, Sep 24 2007, 6:10 pm

After my dd’s birth I was totally “dead”, and after months of going from doc to doc and exam to exam I recently was given a treatment that worked (almost) overnight (b'h keyn ayn hore). But I was forbidden to fast on YK.

Unfortunately I had the bad idea to eat only some rice and water and stand a lot at shul, and now I’ve lost almost all my progress: no energy, head aches…
My husband is also very upset that I did that. I will have to go back to the doctor to get a higher dose and I’m ashamed of what I did (he’s Jewish and said I shouldn’t fast). I also hope my rav won’t hear about it (not my first mess up).

So, I hope it will motivate you to follow your psak.

amother

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 12:00 am

Yes, it is important!
A rav gave me a heter to clean the floors during the nine days (mainly for shalom bayis reasons). Anyway, someone questioned this heter and kind of gave me a hard time about it. I began to question it myself, decided not to clean the floors and dh and I had a HUGE fight over the dirtyfloors on Erev Tisha b'Av. I almost couldn't eat before the fast, I was so upset!

Every psak is hasgocha protis! Follow it!

grin

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 12:12 am

amen!
and I may add - don't follow a psak given to your friend, being too embarressed or tired or lazy to ask yourslef, since your pask may be differnet. It's all hashgacha pratsi, tailor-made for your specific situation.
kol hakavod to you ladies for listening to your rav.

mommyX2

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 12:31 am

amother wrote:

is there a halacha that you are not to clean your house or wash your floors during the 9 days???
I've never heard abt this...

amother

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 12:53 am

There may very well not be one...just blame imamother.com shlita.

When I said "heter" I meant I asked a Rav and he said okay...
But someone had told me it was assur... Rolling Eyes

amother

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 10:31 am

Ouch, this thread hurts. I was forbidden to fast on Y"K because of problems with a pregnancy. I couldn't bring myself to drink until the afternoon and even then, I cried as I drank. You better believe the pregnancy problems the doctor predicted are happening now. Obviously, Hashem is not very happy with me right now.

Maya

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 10:46 am

I"m not sure if it's halacha or not, but I know that you are not supposed to clean your house very thoroughly during the nine days.

Motek

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 1:28 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Ruchel, not to pick on you ... since you are open about a lot in your life, I think it's reasonable to ask - how did you just travel to Switzerland (and the other traveling you did) while being "dead"?

chocolate moose

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 1:31 pm

I forget the circumstance about when a friend got a psak from a rov about something, and when I asked her about it, she said something like, why should I be frummer than the rov?

She's divorcd now and she and her two kids are not relig. any more.

I'm not saying she should have been frummer than the rov, but her attitude was odd to me...specially in retrospect, and in light of her family sitaution.

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 1:35 pm

The few trips I managed to take were during the good periods. The first week of my trip to Israel was good. The rest was h*llish.
The trip to Switzerland we postponed a LOT because I just couldn't. It wasn't really a pleasure trip either... but the treatment worked at that time bh. You also don't know if I spent 20 hours sleeping when I went back or if I wasn't tired at all.

I don't remember other trips, in 7 months!

mimivan

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 6:58 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

CM, I was told you should not question a psak someone gets! Ask questions, but not question.

The fact she went off the derech is beside the point...

mimivan

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 7:02 pm

Motek, I was not allowed to fast on Tisha B'Av once because I was taking antibiotics for pneumonia. The antibitics required food be taken. It was awkward because just a week before I went on an excursion, I was not even feeling "dead" felt I could fast, but because of the type of medication I was taking, I was not even allowed to fast...Maybe this was Ruchel's case

(and while we are in the mood of questioning another's psak, I was given this Psak by Rav Yorkovitz in E.Y who sits on a Beis Din...)

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 7:05 pm

I asked my doc, who is Jewish, then reported to my rav who specializes in everything child birth related, so I'm pretty sure he was right. And he was, since now I'm really paying for being stupid.

chocolate moose

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 7:27 pm

mimivan wrote:

CM, I was told you should not question a psak someone gets! Ask questions, but not question.

I think it was something like, she used ground up frozen spinach because of the bug problem, when other ppl were avoiding spinach in general.

cindy324

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 7:48 pm

Quote:

I think it was something like, she used ground up frozen spinach because of the bug problem, when other ppl were avoiding spinach in general.

So? If her Rav said she can, then what's the problem?

Isn't it a problem to go and do the opposite of what the rav paskins? How does her following her rav , and not mainstream Crown Heights, have anythin g to do with her going off the derech and getting divorced? Confused

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 7:50 pm

I agree. Maybe they divorced because dh hated spinach to death?

I have to say, I never heard spinach was a problem... spinach, like everything, must be carefully checked, and basta.

Piper

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 7:57 pm

I got the ok not to fast either, because I take so many meds and it throws me into a fibromyalgia flare. I tried anyway for half a day and paid for it days after.

amother

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 8:06 pm

Maybe she stopped being frum because people interrogated her every time she got a psak that was "different" and she lost confidence in her Rav and then ....

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 8:17 pm

amother wrote:

Maybe she stopped being frum because people interrogated her every time she got a psak that was "different" and she lost confidence in her Rav and then ....

Yeah. I still remember when people said I made up my psak to uncover my hair when I have a migraine. I really have nothing better to spend time that inventing stuff like that, heh? B'h I'm not one to start doubting my rav for such reasons.

Tefila

Tue, Sep 25 2007, 8:26 pm

Quote:

A very good point, for the rav to question though Twisted Evil