simcha stress! | Imamother

amother

Mon, Oct 08 2007, 10:47 pm

We have a simcha coming soon (an upsherin). DH wants it simple (pastries, coffee, juice, cake, some fruit, candy for the kids). He told my mil what we were servng about a month ago and today she said "Why is it that all you are having is disgusting, fattening pastry?" I am so stressed out! I'd love to make it more elaborate, but we do have a budget to consider. But, all day I called around different places for prices, everything is so expensive. We have a lot of family coming, so I'd like to make it nice, but dh still wants it simple! AHHHH! I'm gong CRAZY! (Knowing my mil she is complaining to everyone already, will complain and embaress that day too! I want to cry...I've been looking forward to this for so long!)

amother

Mon, Oct 08 2007, 10:54 pm

After 3 years of marriage, this is one thing that I have learned, and it's the thing that keeps me sane when dealing with my in-laws: Always do whatever is best for YOU, especially if it's something that won't be hurting them.

An upsherin always was a small, little party, maybe a light breakfast for immediate family. All those big things made in simcha halls is out of hand. Never do more than you can handle, because you will only end up feeling resentful on this wonderful day.

So don't listen to anyone, serve your pastries and fruit and, trust me, noone will care that you didn't make something bigger. Just enjoy this great time at your own pace.

Good luck,and mazel tov.

Raisin

Tue, Oct 09 2007, 9:35 am

you can have veggie platters with dips for the healthy guests. (cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks etc)

If you want and have time, mini sandwiches are also nice. Of course these are much cheaper if you make them yourself.

It s a 3 year olds party after all! Save the money for bar mitzvas and weddings, when the guest of honour will have his own opinion!

amother

Tue, Oct 09 2007, 10:19 am

talkin about stress. we were supposed to make our DS upsherin in mil house. my friend came over a day before and we baked cakes. wanted to keep it simple but with a large family it wuldn't fit in my house. a few hours before the upshein I called up my mil cuz wanted to bring over all the cakes to her house and she started saying that it's so hard for her, and she's not in the mood for the mess and her daughter has to go to sleep early cuz she has a trip the next day, basicly she didn't want to host it. I was crying, didnt know what to do, had to call all the people to cancel so called up first sil and told her we're not making any party, she felt so bad and offered her house.
it was beautiful, I could even invite more people cuz she has a huge dinin rom, we ordered chairs, used everything disposable and after the upsherin I stayed 10 minutes longer and everyhting was cleaned
it wasnt worth the pressure.

enjoy the moment and think about yourself and your son. its the occasion that makes the party nice, not the food!!

mazel tov

Pickle Lady

Tue, Oct 09 2007, 10:21 am

Raisin wrote:

you can have veggie platters with dips for the healthy guests. (cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks etc)

I did this for my son's upsherin too. I made it myself. Cherry tomatoes and baby carrots take no work and I cut up cucumbers and peppers. The dip I used was chumas and a mayo & ketchup dip.

To reduce the cost and the stress a few of my friends helped out by making a few dishes for the party and one girl made cupcakes for the party too. It was great and much lower in cost and stress. My son and his friends had a great time especially with the b-day bags, one little simple toy in each was all they needed to keep them super happy. I also had my son help me make the bags and he really liked that because he was reparing for his own party and I had less work to do.

Don't let what your MIL said stress you out, its not worth it. Do the best you can because thats all you can ask of yourself.

Last edited by Pickle Lady on Tue, Oct 09 2007, 10:28 am; edited 1 time in total

DefyGravity

Tue, Oct 09 2007, 10:26 am

KISS = Keep It Simple, Stupid!

Like another poster said - please don't lose sight of the fact that this is a child's birthday party. There's NO reason to stress over something like this. IM"H you'll have his Bar Mitzvah and wedding to stress over - there's no need to go crazy over this.

As a guest, I would really think it's silly if someone made an elaborate upshernish.