DD is skinny and has small appetite

amother

Smokey

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 5:14 am

DD age 11, is quite skinny. Her BMI is on the low end of the scale - just within the norm, but on the low edge of the normal range.
She is also short for her age - same height as her 9-yr old brother, and probably weighs a little less.

She has a small appetite - she just eats a bit and then doesn't want more.

She likes plenty of foods, even though she has just announced that she's gone off bread!

My DH often tries to 'force' her to eat more, making all kinds of deals with her, and promising her treats and prizes, which usually works, but I feel it just makes too big a deal of meal-time.

What can I do to get her to eat a little more, and not hate eating?

Can nutritionists help in this area?

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 5:27 am

My dd now 10 used to be an extremely picky eater, mealtime used to be so stressful. We used to bribe, tell stories. ...until someone told me that I have to leave it up to her, she decides what and how much she eats, and I have to pretend not to care at all!
She literally ate nothing for 2-3 suppers, my dh and I really had to stay strong, and bh, she really started eating!
She eats bc she wants to, not to make us happy or proud.
She went from being a scrawny, petite girl, to a healthy looking preteen bh
Hatzlocha to you!

amother

Smokey

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 5:37 am

amother wrote:

DH would NEVER agree to that. Unless it was doctor's instructions or something.

asp40

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:01 am

There is nothing wrong with being skinny. If she is otherwise healthy and has always eaten this way, I'd leave it alone. You don't need to create issues around food.

flmommy

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:18 am

Why is she giving up bread?

amother

Smokey

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:26 am

flmommy wrote:

Why is she giving up bread?

Not sure, she says she doesn't like the crust. I've asked her to choose what type of bread she wants for school - white/brown/pita/roll/bread, and I'll get what she likes best. At the moment she's just shrugging her shoulders and saying crackers.
Not sure if it's just an attention seeking thing or some kind of threat.
She usually eats the bread, just leaves the crust. She's never left a whole sandwich in her bag.

amother

Smokey

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:27 am

asp40 wrote:

There is nothing wrong with being skinny. If she is otherwise healthy and has always eaten this way, I'd leave it alone. You don't need to create issues around food.

I think I agree with you. It's more DH. She just kind of looks slightly undernourished. A little pale, often cold. Maybe I should get some blood tests done, check her irons ok, etc.

asp40

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:58 am

Definitely seethe doctor and confirm that all is well. I had three very skinny children and we saw doctors and had testing and it turns out they are just skinny. Two of them have more energy than most kids. Just burning it all off!

FranticFrummie

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 8:04 am

Definitely talk with her doctor, and get some blood work done.

If all checks out well, tell DH to back off and not create unhealthy attitudes towards food.

BTW, crackers have more calories than bread, so let her eat all the crackers she wants. She needs healthy fats like olive oil, avocadoes, and nuts. When I was underweight, my mom used to mix peanut butter and honey together, and let me spread it on crackers. Very healthy and delicious!

amother

Ruby

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 12:06 pm

amother wrote:

DH would NEVER agree to that. Unless it was doctor's instructions or something.

Its hard to say what her issue is and what the correct approach might be but you should definitly go for a lengthy consultation with your child's doctor. Sometimes we have to do things that are completely against our instincts.

Btw your description of her behaviors fits ARFID. I am just putting it out here as another possibilty to bring up when discussing with her doctor. Good luck!!

amother

Cerise

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 3:59 pm

I am very underweight since I was a child, and I have a child who is the same. I myself have been to many doctors growing up, and have spent lots of time with my own daughter at doctors, specialists, and child nutritionists.

The best way to get a child to have a healthy appetite is to allow them to learn how to regulate it on their own. In other words, no forcing, bribing, cajoling, or encouraging a child to eat more, ever. As long as you are telling them when/how much to eat, they can't detect their bodies own signals for hungry and full. Most importantly, as long as your child's height/weight/BMI are on the charts and her development is normal, then this is completely safe to do. Even for my daughter under the charts for weight and BMI and behind developmentally, this is still what all the experts told us to (though they closely monitor her growth and development to make sure it's at least continuing to stay on it's own curve, however low/behind it is). My parents following this has given me very healthy eating habits, and my daughter's eating habits are also good now. We are both still underweight, but that's just our physique/metabolism. Of course, before doing this, it's good to also do just a regular set of blood tests to make sure there's no underlying issue that should be taken care of. But some people are just like this. And turning food into a battle of wills or a control issue or full of rules will never allow your daughter to follow her own body signals and learn to match her eating to her natural appetite. If your husband can't hear it from you, I recommend you have a doctor tell him.

As for blood tests, do a regular blood count, iron and related (anemia can affect appetite), and other vitamins to check for sufficient nutrition. Also, get her liver enzymes checked - these affect appetite. If her eating habits got worse recently and weren't always this way, get her checked for mono (EBV) and CMV -these viruses can affect appetite while active over the course of several weeks or a few months, even if there are zero other symptoms.

Also, I highly recommend a child nutritionist. We took my daughter to one from the time she was a baby. Essentially, they can tell you if your daughter is getting enough calories, as well as help you learn to maximize the value of the calories she's getting if she's only eating a little. They are also against forcing food, just teaching you how to know how to make it maximized for what your daughter needs within the amount that she's eating. This helped my daughter's weight gain more than anything else.

If your daughter is extremely picky, you may want to get her evaluated by an OT for sensory issues, though it doesn't necessarily sound like this is the case here.

Good luck!

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Nov 26 2017, 7:04 pm

decreased appetite has been linked to thiamine deficiency