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-> Household Management
-> Organizing
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amother
Burgundy
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 Sun, Jan 28 2018, 7:51 pm
I WANT an organized home. I really do. I WANT no clutter. I promise! And I'm pretty decent organizer. BUT when I hold something in my hand to throw it away, I just cant. I think, what if we need this?
I have tons of kids clothes, random office supplies, paperwork, every category of stuff, etc... that I just cant part with for fear of needing it in the future. Why should I buy hundreds and yes even thousands of dollars of clothes for future children I"H when I have it now? We dont have that money to spare!
Yes, I know if I havent used in a year... Yes I know I can always buy it again... those concepts dont do it for me.
Let me be clear. my problem with throwing things away is the MONEY it would take to replace them.
HELP!!!!
THANK YOU!!!
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amother
Sapphire
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Sun, Jan 28 2018, 7:53 pm
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I used to feel that way until someone told me to think about the value of the space the item is taking up. Space in your house has value too.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Sun, Jan 28 2018, 8:00 pm
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It's baal tashchish to take up your living space and live in clutter.
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creditcards
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Sun, Jan 28 2018, 8:02 pm
I have the same problem. Can't throw out things. That's why I try not to buy things. Sometimes I'm in a store holding something in my hand to buy and thinking to my self where am I gonna put this...?
When I do declutter and throw stuff out it takes me 10 minutes to make that decision to throw it out and often times I go back to the garbage and take it back out.
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amother
Aqua
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Sun, Jan 28 2018, 8:04 pm
I'm the same way op. what the second poster said is slowly slowly seeping into me. I live in a one bedroom apt with 4 kids and a nurse 24/7 for a sick child.
I started getting rid of all these junks/tchatchkes kids bring home. I was raised with a very strong value of bal tashchis. this is very hard for me, but slowly slowly.
clothing though I don't throw out (I don't throw out anything with real value. lots of things in storage though) outgrown baby clothing I keep, and everything else I give away. that said, I don't spend a lot on kids clothing, so by the time its outgrown I definitely got my moneys worth.
I am also a lot more careful with what I buy and don't jump to purchase anything so fast anymore... (it helps that credit cards are basically maxed & I don't have time to shop, ya, I share amazon prime)
Good luck with your organizing!
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tichellady
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Sun, Jan 28 2018, 8:18 pm
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I don’t think throw things of value out. I donate them and get a tax dedication. Win-win
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trixx
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Sun, Jan 28 2018, 9:10 pm
Read the life changing magic of tidying up by Marie kondo - it really is life changing
20/20/20 rule. If you can buy it for under $20,under 20min within 20mile radius (this doesn't apply to Brooklyn where it can take an hour to drive a mile lol)... Don't waste space on it
Also you can donate even if not getting tax receipt. Don't have to trash it
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seeker
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Sun, Jan 28 2018, 9:22 pm
I also struggled with this but eventually I learned that the benefit of having less outweighs the cost of whatever would need to be replaced. It's not just the space - think about the quality of life and the time you'll save by not having so much stuff to push around. And let's say you do need to replace something in the future - you're doing the math wrong; you won't need to replace ALL of it in the future. So when you throw out fifty things and have to replace one, you didn't really lose that much.
Kids clothes you pass on to someone who can use them, and you hope that someone will do the same for you if you need them again. I switched my thinking to say it's bal tashchis for these things to sit in MY closet, when someone else could be USING them. That's how I got over my baby car seats, snowsuits, etc.
And I agree with "haven't used it in a year" being a bad assessment measure. I judge the current/potential value of most things. It's a good thing to think about (e.g. the outfit you never wear, there must be a reason you never wear it), but not a good rule.
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saw50st8
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 5:43 am
Read www.aslobcomesclean.com
It's not worth keeping things for the potential future use unless you have a use for it. It clutters up your space and adds stress. Donate everything to a place that will pick it up.
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southernbubby
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 5:58 am
We had a flood around 3.5 years ago and then a year and a half ago, we had widespread mold in the house so much of the junk that was stored in the basement was disposed of by the mold treatment team. We don't miss the stuff.
From what I see, we need to figure out before we acquire something, where it will go, how it will be used, how it will eventually be disposed of, and last but not least, do we even really need it?
Old electronics will never be useful again. Clothes that are out of style and don't fit are unlikely to ever be worn again. Half finished craft projects are unlikely to ever be finished. Childhood is experienced in brief stages and baby gear may not even be safe to pass on. If you haven't contacted the manufacturers of the games with missing pieces to buy replacement parts, chances are, you won't.
Most of us buy more than we need and more than we use and are then stuck with it.
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seeker
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 6:03 am
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Last week we learned from the mann that Hashem will provide what you need when you need it. No need to hoard for the future except in the short term.
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southernbubby
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 6:13 am
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thunderstorm
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 6:16 am
I put clothing in storage and use it for the next child. My youngest is seven. When he turned five I got rid of my baby clothes since I knew that it had seen its days. I also got rid of all my baby gear at that time as well.
Toys- I get rid of if any part of it is broken and no longer useable, markers that are dried out, games that are missing pieces.
All clothing that we will no longer use , and that includes shoes., goes to our local charity that accepts used clothing to sell in their thrift shop. They accept all other household items as well.
Paperwork I file for 10 years , such as billing statements. Large object items that I purchase , I keep receipts for, so I keep the receipts in a file folder until the item is no longer being used .
I don't trash things for the most part. I usually give it away so at least I know someone else will enjoy it.
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Teomima
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 6:22 am
Kids clothes are the one thing I've never been able to get rid of entirely. I have lots of clothes, in great shape, all of which I know I'll continue using. Once I know I'm done for sure, I'll get rid of them. Meanwhile I have given away bags to friends and family and still find I have more than enough. And I hardly ever spend a penny anymore on clothes for anyone but my oldest. But I've always bought quality, so they last, and yes would be too expensive to replace.
Everything else, though, I don't need. Like a mother sapphire said, the space itself is too valuable and worth more than what I might possibly spend should I decide to replace something I tossed.
Currently I'm in the midst of a major overhaul. I've been living, for years, with piles of boxes of stuff that I don't use, just laying around. Dh and I figured out a place to put a storage closet and I calculated exactly how many large plastic Ikea bins I can fit in and from now on, that'll be our storage spacespace. I find it easier to face the prospect of culling my inventory if I know exactly how much I can keep. If something won't fit in the closet, I either toss it or something else in its pace. It's like how keeping a diet is easier if you let yourself have cheat items. If it fits in the closet, I can keep it. If not, sayonara!
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ssspectacular
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 6:57 am
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Get a buddy to help you declutter. Someone who is not afraid of throwing things away.....
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amother
Honeydew
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 7:00 am
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trixx- under $20 can add up if you get rid of a lot of stuff that is each under $20
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Optimystic
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 8:22 am
I struggle with this too, and am still constantly reminding myself to still limited effect that space itself has value and is more than worth the possible cost of donating something that I needed to buy again in the future. Also, things that really aren't important or needed suddenly appear important and needed when we look at them. Always keep the greater good in perspective, and that will help to ignore the final temptation to hold onto the item that someone else might need more.
And I have discovered for me that parting with something important to me makes it easier to part with other things. Just as the people in our lives have lifespans, so does stuff.
The other thing that has helped me is that I used to move a lot, and it still makes me look at my stuff like what would it cost to move this? I got rid of lots of things because it was going to cost more money to move or store them than to replace them.
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southernbubby
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 8:42 am
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some people have stored clothes for years only to find when they take them out that they are stained or musty and can't even be used
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imamother153
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 9:17 am
| Bizzydizzymommy wrote: |
Paperwork I file for 10 years , such as billing statements. |
They are always available online. Why the need to keep them? What use do u have out of it lets say after 8 years?
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seeker
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Mon, Jan 29 2018, 9:24 am
| amother wrote: | | trixx- under $20 can add up if you get rid of a lot of stuff that is each under $20 |
Yes but as I said above, you will not have to replace all the things you get rid of. If there's a 5% chance that you'll ever need something again, then you can get rid of 20 items and likely will only have to replace 1 of them. So that's $15 for a whole lot more space and time on your hands. Good deal.
If any of your stuff is potentially resalable - An acquaintance and (former?) imamother member started a small business selling other people's things on ebay for a commission. I gave her something like a boatload of clothes and other stuff that I really needed to deal with but didn't have the heart. For me, it's nearly out of sight out of mind. It's not in my closets anymore so I don't even need to think about whether it's worth getting rid of. I don't even care about her commission or the low prices used items go for because it's just off my mind. So far I've made over $200 and saved a ton of space and headaches. I would have sent all that stuff to a gemach but I kept hearing how many gemachs just toss anything they don't love or sell it for rags.
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