disrespectful behaviour

Pearl

Tue, Aug 09 2005, 6:27 am

dd, 6 yrs old, is a very sweet, sensitive girl usually. however, lately, she's been rude and disrespectful.
I would like to see if any of you had to deal with this, and especially how to deal with it? I don't want to get angry all the time and send her to her room for a time-out. I want her to truly understand that I do not tolerate her behaviour.

Pearl

Tue, Aug 09 2005, 7:04 am

not yet... she will go obviously to first grade, with a teacher who's not the cuddly type, and has no patience for drama queens, so I do forsee some problems...
I guess she's in a way preparing me for puberty, but still, I would love to know how to handle it in such a way she gets it...

Tue, Aug 09 2005, 1:44 pm

I have (or rather had) the same thing with my 6 yr old.
Although I don't think with her it is a lack of attention - I think she hears the way other kids talk in school and picks up on it and tries it out at home.

I just calmly tell her that this is not the way we speak to each other, and I am ready to listen when she is ready to talk.

I try to be firm about it and she is generally cooperative with that (sometimes I will explain or discuss with her at a different time why her tone or comments were inappropriate - because sometimes they just dont realise). I think it sounds worse to us mothers, because we are projecting ahead in our minds, and thinking - wow if she talks to me like this now, imagine what it will be like when she is a teenager...so it may seem a little worse then it actually is.

Its impt. to set the tone for the house so the other kids don't follow (she is the oldest).

mother of 2 princess's

Sun, Oct 02 2005, 4:41 pm

maybe its the age. im also worried cos myns 6 and the oldest and she is so rude to me sometimes. last night she just wouldnt go to bed. I said im going down and im not answering you anymore for about 30 mins she was shouting down the stairs. all I want is a cuddle and your so mean and your doing a big avera ignoring me. its a few days before rosh hashannah and do you want hashem to write you in the book of life or death. then she said I love you and I want you to be written in the book of life. so just answer me. if you dont im going in to wake my sister up and she was threatning to do that for about 20 mins she didnt though. in the end she made me feel so guilty I went up and gave her a cuddleand said go to sleep good night. she still continiued then I threatned if she dosnt go to sleep im not making her a bday party in a few weeks time.. I just feel im threatning all the time. and I dont really keep to my threats. she said and if I dont go to bed what you going to do.....
today she said to me why do you lovemy sister more than me. I said dont be silly of course I love you both the same. she said you help her more than me and I said because shes younge than you.

im at my wits end with her
it dosnt matter how much attention I give her its not enogh

Purple Hug Bunny

Mon, Oct 03 2005, 3:37 pm

motherof2 princess, I just have one thing to point out to you...
You gotta start going through with your threats, otherwise she will never give in either, you threat her and then don't do it, what message does she get? my mom said she wont make me a birthday party but in the end she did, so if I keep nudging for s/thing I'm gonna get it in the end...

A good idea is not to threat with a/thing you think you will not be able to go through with it..

start with little things and really keep to it.. she will get the message..

lucky

Thu, Oct 06 2005, 8:00 am

Your daughter is testing you. I think that once she realizes that you really mean what you say, and you stick to your rules, and if she is disrespectful she will have some consequences for it, she will get the message.

Pearl

Thu, Oct 06 2005, 8:50 am

I agree with notyetamommy - you should stick to your threads, so only use threads if you will follow through!

my 6yr old has calmed down a bit, b'h, but she did cry (really cry, not nagging) that I never do anything just with her... so, last night, after a very full b'h yom tov, I promised myself that before succos I will take her out, spend some time with her alone. and to do the same with her older sister, who does the "you don't love me" routine every now and then, but that's besides the point!