So overwhelmed with keeping house semi clean

amother

Babypink

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 1:38 pm

amother wrote:

I find it very helpful to keep a schedule/checklist. For example:

Every day:
Take out garbage
Wash dishes, counter, stove
Sweep floors
Tidy up

Mondays:
Laundry

Tuesdays:
Sheets
Clean fridge

Wednesdays:
Bathrooms

Thursday:
Wash floors

Friday:
Clean bedrooms and living areas

Adjust to your specifications obviously, I didn't include everything. But once it's all down on paper it can become a routine.

That sounds great but I have like 3 diff lives! I have 2 full time jobs and I'm a wife and mom. Cleaning the fridge just doesnt happen!!

WastingTime

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 2:25 pm

Oy, I definitely feel for you. Especially with that schedule!!!
I have always been inept at house cleaning, since I was a kid (didn't get much practice but my house was a disaster). Before we had kids, I did not have any 'newlywed stage' of a clean house.
After 15 yrs of marriage I have come to learn that you should focus on what will overall make you feel better. So whether it's having your living room somewhat tidy, so you can open the door (or when your baby grows up so you can let her friends in the house...) or keeping your bedroom neat, I.e. making the beds and putting away your clothes every night, so that you have a 'safe haven' in your house, try to choose something that won't take more than 10 minutes a day but can make a difference.

amother

Bronze

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 2:42 pm

Op,

Understanding the fact that you work outside the home and have babies, just do your best to keep on top of laundry, dishes, food ( shopping and cooking) and cleaning up after yourselves ( garbage removal clearing the table etc) Then when you finally have the moment open , do some focused cleaning. You will be ready to clean happily knowing that the laundry is done and the essentials are taken care of.

amother

Orchid

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 2:43 pm

It's so interesting you posted this because I JUST logged in to imamother and was planning to search for a post about ways to keep the home cleaner...

There really is sooo much involved in upkeeping a super clean house...it majorly overwhelms me - and I have BH 3 kids and it doesn't seem to be getting cleaner here any time soon... (between the drawings on the walls, the diapers, the windows stained with handmarks, the fluff that they pull out of the couches, the messes made in the bathroom, the toys that get pushed out under the couch or end up in the sefarim shelf, the ketchup stains on the mattress... the list really is endless) every time I do a solid cleaning the house just gets so messy 1 week later). The only time my home is sparkling is Erev Pesach.

but to have a SEMI clean house - well, it's not easy, but I seemed to have mastered that part. I'll tell you my schedule:
1) Sweep the floors every night & wipe the table with a wet wipe or two every night after dinner
2) Do the dishes every night - don't leave it for the morning...they stink up the kitchen and also it's much harder to clean
3) Wash/mop the floors once a week - I usually do Thurs night lkavod Shabbos
4) Bathrooms I do on Fri - actually this is my husband's task... see if your husband is up for it
5) Garbage should be taken out every morning (my husband takes it out before he leaves if I remind him in the morning)
6) Fridays I wipe the counter tops with a paper towel and some kind of multi cleaner. I scrub the sinks with sink bleach cleaner and I change the sponges. I also change hand towels, sheets, and pillow cases every Friday.
7) One pot or one pan dinners (chicken with rice, chicken w/ potatoes, baked zitti, etc.)
8) Use as many disposables as possible until you can manage a solid cleaning schedule
9) Have set laundry days - like every Sunday and then set days to fold and put away laundry. Mark it on your calendar.

I do struggle with cleaning the fridge/stove top/oven...ideally that should be done once every 2 weeks but I barely do it once every 3 months <embarrassed>

amother

Tangerine

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 2:59 pm

amother wrote:

That sounds great but I have like 3 diff lives! I have 2 full time jobs and I'm a wife and mom. Cleaning the fridge just doesnt happen!!

I get it, I'm a full time working mom too. Cleaning my fridge only happens because I make it happen. It doesn't have to be a huge overhaul every week. Just sort through the bins and throw out produce that can't be used. Take out any containers of leftovers that are past prime. And do spot cleans on any spots that are obviously not clean. It takes me less than 10 minutes. Can I think of 100 other things I can do with those 10 minutes? Sure. But I decided that I want my fridge somewhat cleaned every week, so I use the time for that. You can have different priorities, I was just posting my basics for reference.

flowerpower

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 3:14 pm

It shouldn’t be sooo hard to keep a house clean if you stick to a schedule. Don’t say” I’ll just do it tomorrow”. Every morning, make all the beds in the house and tidy up the bedrooms right after you get dressed. Don’t push it off. Then clean up each mess as it happens so it won’t become overwhelming and out of hand. Make sure your kitchen is clean every night before you go to bed. Keep organizing and decluttering whenever needed. If you see a closet is messy make it a goal for that week to fix it.
Daily goals should be-
Sunday- washing bathroom and laundry
Monday- washing kitchen floor and folding laundry
Tuesday- organzing bedroom closets
Wednesday- grocery shopping
Thursday- washing up the house, laundry, cooking for Shabbos..
I made up a list but costumize it however you neec to. I find that sticking to my goals make a world of a difference

soap suds

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 6:37 pm

amother wrote:

Don’t feel bad op, I’m still trying to figure all this out and I’m married for 13 years.

Same here. (Don't be fooled by my screen name. Very Happy

)
Sometimes it feels like it's not worth the effort. Even when I do have things under control for a day or two, it gets undone so quickly! You just let one little thing go and it all piles up.

What works best for me is to have a detailed list - on paper - of what needs to be done every day. Also have a list of the bare minimum that absolutely MUST get done each day. These items should be non-negotiable.

Good Luck!

ra_mom

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 8:35 pm

tichellady wrote:

It might be helpful to have a cleaning service come one time just so you can start from scratch with a clean house and then build a daily routine of how to keep it clean. My kitchen is constantly being used so it’s never totally neat but I keep it semi neat by spending a few 10 minute chunks a day ( 1-4 depending on how much time I have) washing dishes and putting things away. I mop the floor once a week but will spot clean if necessary with those microfiber cleaning towels. There is also a difference between neat and clean. I care more about clean during the week and then before Shabbat aim for neat as well

I agree with this. Splurge and hire someone to get it to the point of clean that feels good to you. Then maintain the cleanliness with easy to use items.
Wipe down bathroom when you finish using it with a Clorox wipe. Spray shower with no rinse spray as you step out of the shower and it's still wet. Keep toilet cleaner tablets in the tank of water. All this is enough on a general basis if you start off clean. And it won't be as overwhelming when you need to do a deeper clean one thing at a time.
Use disposables in the kitchen whenever necessary for a while until you feel you have control over the house. It's ok if it takes a few years, rome wasn't built in a day and it doesn't take overnight to learn how to run an entire household overnight either. Bake dinners in disposable pans too. Keep a disposable tablecloth on the table that you can will up. Use clorox wipes on the counters (provided you don't have stone) after you use the surface to prep food.

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 8:56 pm

I know this is not typical, but if you establish a rule that food cannot be brought outside of the kitchen (except for Shabbos when one eats in the dining room, the whole house stays cleaner (no ketchup on mattresses!) and it makes Pesach cleaning so much easier, as well. In addition, to avoid extra dirt being brought into the house, shoes come off when entering.

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 10:07 pm

I used to be a lot more on top of everything. these days I have a full time & part time job & am exhausted at the end of the day, so I try doing something at night (I work evenings till about 11:00 pm) but I usually can't get my act together till like 12:00 & so don't get into bed till like 2-3 am. then I'm tired in the morning & tired all day & cycle repeats.

so about once every week or two I do an all nighter with a major clean up job or organize one part of the house.

doesn't help much that I'm the only one that can clean this house being that it is kind of a jigsaw puzzle in the closets (a 1 bedroom apt for 4 kids) only I know where things go & the exact spot it belongs.

amother

Gray

Wed, Jun 13 2018, 2:57 am

Such great advice already posted. I also struggle to keep the house clean. I have 2 hours of cleaning help on Fridays - for $20, the house gets a fresh start every week.
I want to say I don't think it's worth your limited time to bother with making beds (who cares - it's a neat thing not a clean thing) or cleaning the fridge unless something spilled/needs to be removed. Dishes, sweeping, laundry are more important.
For ppl reading this that have older kids, even a 3 yr old can help tidy up. Bribes go a long way.

Chanale1

Wed, Jun 13 2018, 3:03 am

I don't think there are "shoulds" in these cases. You had a particularly difficult pregnancy and on the other hand had the massive bracha to have a baby (enjoy it!) but this is also time-consuming. Everyone does what they can and some women are more talented or skilled in housework than others. Also some women need a schedule as to what to do daily and others just clean as they go along.

I like going to houses that are less clean because it's less pressure for me :) My mum worked full-time, had us kids who didn't help particularly much and never used a cleaner and that's the model I also follow (not to judge anyone who does use cleaners, just I feel that for me personally cleaning my own home is a privilege I want to take care of rather than bring a stranger in). It means my house is not immaculate but it's clean enough and hygienic and everything does get done weekly and we eat healthy food. But I cut out other activities like we don't host every week, we eat simple meals (frozen veg in bags is a life safer) and I don't do extra chessed outside work and family responsibilities like other women tend to do, apart from chessed that family members need, eg I don't run a gemach or bake cakes for events. (In fact I never bake anything).

I think it's important to know what your priorities are. Does your husband need an immaculate house? Do you want to invite guests often? Do you want to have elaborate meals? Do you want more money and need to work for it or are you happy to live more simply to be at home? Everyone answers these questions a little differently and it's ok, you need to know what your tafkid is in the moment and in your circumstances. Don't set up standards that pull you down but find out what works for you, what's best for your family and your spiritual growth (I for example need to go to shiurim and daven, I can't feel spiritually connected just by taking care of my house but some women do and can).