Babies/toddlers out at midnight?!

amother

Bisque

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 12:36 am

I just returned from a night out in the Catskills and am very bothered at the many babies/toddlers out so late while their parents got pizza. What time do these kids go to sleep?? 1 am? I realize that everything “runs later” in those communities but this is just extremely late. And some of those kids looked tired!!

amother

Tan

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 12:59 am

Don't forget, these people are on vacation. When on vacation, schedules don't always so matter so much. That's part of relaxing.

That being said, I am pretty much as stickler for routine bedtimes, regardless of the situation. As my kids grow older though, they are teaching me that it is okay to be lax at times. It is okay to just let loose and have fun. Both are appropriate at certain times.

On this topic: My four month old baby just let me know via very insistent crying that it is 100% totally bedtime and how dare I bring her downstairs when she is supposed to be in a dark room sleeping?

She's right. Baby wins.

amother

Bisque

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 1:18 am

thunderstorm wrote:

Many people nap for a few hours Shabbos afternoon and then wake up very late tomorrow.

I can see how this works for adults, but not for babies/young toddlers.

thunderstorm

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 1:21 am

amother wrote:

I can see how this works for adults, but not for babies/young toddlers.

I've done it with my own kids when they were little. We had a 3 hr nap Shabbos afternoon until my kids reached age 7 or 8. They would nap later and we're wide awake until about 12-1. Sundays everyone woke up at 9:30-10 instead of the usual 6:30-7

amother

Bisque

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 1:25 am

amother wrote:

I agree that it’s good to bend routines for older children once in a while, and let them have a good time. I was particularly disturbed that a baby who looked to be about 8-9 months old was in a brightly lit pizza shop, rubbing his eyes in his carriage, while left largely ignored.. I would think it appropriate for the parents to take their food to go, and get the baby to sleep.

amother

Bisque

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 1:27 am

thunderstorm wrote:

Definitely impressed that you were able to do that!!

abound

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 1:40 am

Some kids can and some kids don't. I have kids that no matter the time they go to sleep they will be up the same time in the morning, so keeping htem up late or naps on a one off basis would not work. I have other kids who will sleep 12 hours from whatever time they fall asleep so for them this would work.
Either way, live and let live. You do not love those kids or babies more than their parents, they know their kids and what works best for them. Relax.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 2:30 am

abound wrote:

Either way, live and let live. You do not love those kids or babies more than their parents, they know their kids and what works best for them. Relax.

I don't know the op's motivation, but I admit I'm often curious myself. I've been in Williamsburg and Bnei Brak late at night, and families with young children, not dressed as if they are going to or from a simcha, are out and about very late at night. I'm always curious how that works. No disapproval of different parenting methods, just genuinely wondering how little kids can be up at midnight and what that does to the next day's schedule.

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 3:44 am

amother wrote:

I know what you mean because I also wonder the same.
I sometimes run into Walmart to get something at midnight and I see parents from the Bronx and of Hispanic origin with toddlers and 4 or 5 year olds strolling the store as if it were midday!!
The kids are crying from tiredness and very often I have witnessed these parents also scream at these kids. I am not judging them by any means but my heart breaks! Its not the time to parent now! Give them a bed and all will be fine!

No disapproval of different parenting methods just wondering what these parents even know about bedtimes?

weasley

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 3:57 am

It's important for me that my kids have routine with their bedtime bc it gives me my me time!

But just a glimpse of what may be the other side -

When I only had 1 child and he was still in the baby stage (around 1 yr old )we couldn't afford a babysitter and when things got too much without a date night we'd transfer him sleeping into the stroller and go out for a walk. After an hour or 2 generally he'd wake up and if he was in good spirits we'd stay out.

moonstone

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 7:11 am

You see this in Israel all the time- babies and kids (chiloni to chareidi and everything in between) are still out and about at 9 or 10 at night. I think kids need a consistent, early bedtime, so this always strikes me as weird, to say the least.

Ruchel

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 7:28 am

I never get why people obsess. And judge. Ew? Nothing will happen. Kids get to enjoy this (or sleep). PARENTS ARE PEOPLE. I can't be blocked in my own life for long years to decades. MY kids bh are very adaptable, we bring them to various places at various times and they aren't finicky and phased out.

Raisin

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 7:50 am

amother wrote:

I imagine some people have no choice. If you are a single parent who works long hours and can't shop during the day. Or you just realised you ran out of an essential item like formula or nappies and the other parent is working or absent.

But yes, I definitely know families where kids just crash out at 10pm or whenever and don't have bedtimes.

I know a family who would have all their kids nap on shabbos afternoon but can't see my kids doing that.

pause

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 9:51 am

amother wrote:

So am I - when I am in Manhattan and see families with young children late at night.

Rolling Eyes

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 9:58 am

My kids go to sleep late Friday night & wake early shabbos morning. Sometimes they can nap till 5:00 shabbos afternoon & they're not tired before 12-1 AM. So we're out till then with them. It's very common in the summer motzei shabbos to see kids out this late.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 10:28 am

Sorry, I didn't mean to put people on the defensive.(I'm not the op.) Sometimes you just notice something and wonder.

If it makes you feel any better, I once wondered aloud why everyone in Teaneck drove the same minivan. (The answer I got was low price, cheap gas, and not too many people into cars.)

Because we live in a world where not everyone is the same, sometimes someone will notice our differences and wonder about them. That's not a bad thing.

amother

Silver

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 11:07 am

Attitudes toward child rearing are very cultural. There are places where you would be looked at as rigid and odd if you declined to go out at night with your kids because they need to sleep early. Chalk this up to different things working for different families.

(Just want to add, perhaps there are some young children in those families who don't adapt well to schedule variations, and they do get the short end in that sense. On the other hand, they are absorbing an attitude of flexibility, which is a valuable thing in itself.)

amother

Blue

Sun, Jul 01 2018, 11:20 am

I’m curious about this because it seems to be a cultural thing. It’s not the odd person here and there - that one needs formula, that ones kids had a long nap. It seems much broader than that. I have done this once or twice when on vacation. Put the kids to bed 5 pm, woke them after shabbos to go out. Needless to say, they were very well rested and behaved and it worked out fine. So I don’t think parents are idiots for doing this - it makes sense sometimes. But I wonder about it as a general lifestyle. Can someone chasidish please explain it to me? Also, as someone pointed out - it’s interesting that black and Hispanic people seem to also do this. Is there a common denominator in mentality?