Remembering faces | Imamother

amother

Lemon

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 9:57 am

I admit I have an uncanny ability to remember faces (and names). Does not matter who it is- the cashier, the woman I speak to for 3 minutes by a simcha, etc. If I interacted with you I will probably remember your face forever. with that being said....

A few days after the school year ended my sister showed me a picture of her class that she taught that entire year, I mentioned that the children are adorable and she commented back "yeah they are, though I do not know who one of the girls are", to which I responded "was she not in your class?" and she replied "yes she must of been in my class but I have no recollection of her"
I found the conversation extremely strange, but than again I do have a really good memory of faces. So, is it normal not to remember a student you saw every single day?
what about someone you had a 15 minute conversation with at a wedding? or a new neighbor you chatted with when you brought over brownies?

singleagain

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 10:05 am

A lot of ppl have trouble matching names to faces... It took me almost two years to match up the girls in my high school. And only bc in made an extra effort, especially for ppl who I never had a class with.

In 2015 Disney/Pixar came out with a movie called Inside Out . The emotions inside a young girl and how they got along. Really cute. But I remember reading that they looked into a lot of psychology and understanding how the brain works. One thing that got cut was a scene of the place where "faces" are stored being in a constant fight with the place where the "names"are stored, making it hard for her to recall that info.... Point.. it's common enough that it was considered to be included in a motion picture aimed to everyone. (I think it was only cut for time)

There are also some ppl who actually don't recognize whole faces... It's called Prosopagnosia aka "face blindness"

amother

Blue

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 10:20 am

I have a lot of trouble remembering names and faces. Once I know someone really well I'll be able to... usually. But a 15 minute conversation, no way!
And if I see someone in a different situation than I usually see them or if they're in a tichel for example and I usually see them in a sheitel then I'll have trouble figuring out who they are.
One of the main cues I use to figure out who people are is their voices. If they say something I'll usually recognize them, I have a good memory for voices.

amother

Mint

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 10:38 am

I'm terrible at remembering both names and faces. I can sit next to someone, talk to them for half an hour but if I don't meet them again until six months later no way will I remember who they are. I taught a few classes though and after a whole year I knew every single student. I'd say by December or January of the school year I would have recognized every one of them off a picture. I think you and your sister are both extreme ends of the spectrum on this one.

I really appreciate when people introduce themselves or offer to introduce their friends to me. I know some people are shy or uncomfortable and others maybe can't be bothered but I'm always grateful to the people who do.
Letting you know OP in case you meet me again sometime soon. You might figure you remember me from that time three years ago when we stood next to each other on the check out line so of course I know who you are, but I have no idea.

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 11:02 am

I am face blind while my daughter can remember someone she just passed by on the street a long time ago. I am constantly asking her who someone is.

I can remember nitty gritty details of conversations. I can remember the names of anyone mentioned in conversation. Once I put the person to the conversation or how I know them, I am good.

So strange.

TranquilityAndPeace

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 11:18 am

This is so interesting.

I'm far from face blind; however, I am not great at faces. I can remember addresses and birthdays and clothing and food preferences very well, but I'm weak at faces.

Sometimes I feel like I need to meet someone 4-6 times until I will always remember their face.

If I meet someone wearing a tichel and the next day a Sheitel (or vice versa), I'm often stumped to place their face. And if someone changes their hair/wig color, I can be thrown for a loop.

When we watch movies with a lot of people, I know who is male/female, black/white, blonde, brunette. But if there are 2 main characters with similar characteristics, I mix them up throughout the movie!

leah233

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 11:27 am

I have a wonderful memory for most things but when it comes to faces... to put it this way, a month after I got engaged I passed my husband -then Choson- on a dark street one Shabbos night. Luckily he acknowledged me first because I wasn't 100% sure it was him.

Last edited by leah233 on Mon, Aug 20 2018, 1:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

Rubber Ducky

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 11:28 am

I have a lot of trouble remembering faces. People recognize me in the market all the time and I struggle to place them — this is especially embarrassing when the person is a current client in my residential & kitchen design business. But I do remember everyone's floor plans!

amother

Lemon

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 11:45 am

OP here- I usually feel a bit offended when I see someone I met a few times and they clearly have no idea who I am. I always assumed it was a processing thing- like the person does not bother to process our interaction, not bothering to actually remember who I am.
I am hearing here that it is normal for the average person to have a hard time placing faces/names, and it is normal not to remember people you do not know well (vs. family and friends)

I still think that not remembering a student you taught the entire school year is abnormal, am I wrong? (It was not that she remembered the child but could not place the child's name, she absolutely had zero recollection of the child at all!)

If you have a hard time placing faces/names do you have a hard time with remembering people you see on a daily basis like your co workers? neighbors? students? etc

Ruchel

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 11:48 am

People come to kiss me (women lol) and I'm like pretending I know who it is. Horrible.

BUT I'll remember the name of grandfather's great aunt, the daughter of the resistant who saved my dad, or whatever. When my dad was in hospital he was like "who was there when xxx saved me already?" and I knew.

singleagain

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 11:59 am

Could it be that this student was incredibly shy and in other ways just did not draw attention to herself...

And yes for me, it takes me a long long time to get ppls names
I actually had a teacher in 12th grade that if he still didn't know your name at the end of the year he bought that girl one of this large Hershey kisses... And my year I think there were two or three girls who got them.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 12:09 pm

I'm not great with names and faces either. If someone approaches me for a hug, or can't remember who I am, or anything like that, I try very hard to put them at ease. "Oh, don't worry, I do that all the time." or "Well, it's great to meet you again!"

I have a friend who is really, truly face blind. She doesn't recognize her own husband and kids by their faces. She has the most uncanny ability to remember voices, though. If you speak to her first, she will know exactly who you are. If I see her around, I'll come up and say "Hey, it's Shani." It helps her immensely.

Funny story, she once almost picked up the wrong boy from gan, because he and her son were wearing almost identical shirts. LOL

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 12:29 pm

Whether or not someone has a problem with faces it doesn’t make sense that your sister can’t remember any of her students just a few weeks later. Teachers of young girls interact with them on a personal level every day. Either she didn’t do a good job with her students or there is really something wrong with her. It just can’t be that after connecting with her students for a whole year she can’t remember any of them. I hope she wasn’t my daughters teacher.

Chayalle

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 12:33 pm

How much time has elapsed since she taught them?

I used to be really good with faces. I knew almost everyone in my entire school, at least by name/face, when I was in high school.

But as time has gone on and maybe because I've gotten older, my memory has weakened. I find that I don't remember names/people/faces as much anymore. I also don't remember events as well as I used to.

When I was single, I worked in a seminary for a year. I knew every single girl - face, name, and even to some extent, who her friends were.

But now, over 20 years later, I meet some of the "girls" (grown women, actually) and sometimes I don't remember them right away, or it takes me a minute or two to jog my memory. I really hope I don't hurt anyone's feelings, but that's just the way it is.

amother

Brunette

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 12:52 pm

Maybe the student looked drastically different on picture day. Or was a student who only attended for a while then switched schools. Or was a special Ed student who had special classes during your sister's lesson but they included her for the picture. I

amother

Coffee

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 3:15 pm

leah233 wrote:

That's me to a tee. Great memory for everything but faces. I don't recognize my kids sometimes. It annoys them.

amother

Coffee

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 3:21 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I also am very good at recognizing voices. Interestingly, also, voices don't change over time nearly as much as faces.

When I was a little girl, maybe around four or five, I remember after shul once putting my hand into the hand of someone who was the same general height and build as my father, and walking down the steps in front of the shul. Then he turned to me and spoke, and I realized he wasn't my father, but someone else. I was so embarrassed! Then I saw my father standing on the sidewalk and laughing and I ran to him. So I guess I had this problem even as a little kid. But it's worse now.

ora_43

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 3:45 pm

Not remembering a kid from her class is weird. Especially since it's just the one kid. Could it be that the girl really wasn't in her class? Like, she transferred out early? Or looked really different on picture day than the rest of the year?

But not remembering faces is very normal.

Quote:

I am really, really bad with faces. It's not like this at all! For me, the issue is that I just don't remember details of faces. I might remember someone's name and the entire conversation I had with them, but my brain only remembers, like, "she was around average height, somewhere between 25 and 40, and had dark hair."

If someone has unusual features, I can remember them almost immediately. It's really just a visual processing/memory thing. My brain just doesn't "see" the little differences between faces very quickly. Or even many of the big ones.

mommyhood

Mon, Aug 20 2018, 4:34 pm

amother wrote:

You're not wrong. It seems very unusual for a teacher to not even recognize a student so soon after the school year. Is she sure the girl was in her class for whatever subject she taught. There are girls that switch out for certain subjects.