Grandparents Name on Wedding Invitation

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 10:50 pm

Is there a reason why some people put grandparents name on wedding invitations and others don’t?

BetsyTacy

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 10:56 pm

In my JPF circles it is personal taste, with more leaning towards not using. I learned about it from charedi invitations and think it is lovely.

amother

Beige

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 10:57 pm

In English side I only put living grandparents under the heading: honoured grandparents. In Hebrew I listed all 8, with zl as appropriate under the heading עֲטֶ֣רֶת זְ֖קֵנִים בְּנֵ֣י בָנִ֑ים

Why? Made sense to me, and I really like that half pasuk.

amother

Apricot

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 11:02 pm

my invitation had no names as none of our grandparents were alive.
by my kids G-d willing I would love to put on my parents and in-laws as a sign of respect.

keep in mind the generation after the war had few grandparents which may account somewhat for the some yes and some no.

also, some people have more complex family patterns with steps and exes and it can get quite sticky so that may be another reason to leave off.

chocolatecake

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 11:14 pm

I always put all grandparents on the invitation whether they are alive or not. I think it is a sign of respect.

agreer

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 1:25 am

I was at a wedding 3 years ago, Lag BaOmer. The zaide of the chosson was called up for a bracha. A neighbor of my parents was sitting behind me, a woman in her early 60s, and she remarked to her friend, "Wow, that zaide is so young. And to think...we didn't have ANY grandparents at our chuppahs."

I think it's a beautiful tradition. Especially if the grandparents are alive - what a way to honor them and thank Hashem for having them at their grandchild's wedding.

amother

Azure

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 4:42 am

What do people in dysfunctional families do? We'd be happy to put both of our fathers on the invitation, but both of our mothers have cut off contact with us and haven't even met our kids.

amother

Sapphire

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 7:17 am

OP here
The reason I posted is because at a wedding recently somebody mentioned to me that the reason why you only see grandparents name on the invitation sometimes is because the name gets put on only if they help pay towards the simcha. I was a bit confused when I heard that.

watergirl

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 7:59 am

amother wrote:

I have never heard of that. Then again, its not my practice to ask people who payed for their weddings and then double check the invitation.

Orchid

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 8:04 am

amother wrote:

Never heard that. That sounds ridiculous. Like a shul appeal- donate $xyz and your name goes on a brick.

amother

Smokey

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 8:18 am

amother wrote:

This is definitely not true at all.
We've always put grandparents names out of kavod and they have never helped pay for the simcha. It's just a nice thing to do.

amother

Sapphire

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 8:26 am

amother wrote:

This is definitely not true at all.
We've always put grandparents names out of kavod and they have never helped pay for the simcha. It's just a nice thing to do.

I never heard of paying for the name to be put on till recently by one person and it was really bothering me so I decided to ask.

amother

Beige

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 8:34 am

amother wrote:

I'm sure there are some breeds of dysfunctional families where that happens.

I will say that I have friends who pay and plan their own weddings, and their invitations sometime reflect that by writing:

Name of Bride, Name of Groom together with their families invite you to....

Metukah

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 8:56 am

We always put grandparents on invitations.

My parents always gave their parents a number of invitations to invite their own guests. It makes sense that their name should be on an invitation they are sending out. That is not the reason we do it though.

thanks

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 9:32 am

amother wrote:

As you can see, this is untrue. However, the converse is true. If grandparents contribute, it's very likely they will be on the invitation, and some of their close friends will be invited.

amother

Violet

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 9:36 am

It’s simply done out of respect.
I am working on a bar mitzvah invitation for my son now and I would like to include grandparents names- living and no longer living. After all, my son is only here because of them. The woman who prints invitations said not everyone does it on bar mitzvah invitations.

Ruchel

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 9:38 am

Occasionally I see niftar names
I often see alive grandparents
Not always

Go ahead!

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 10:29 am

Where I live, the common thing is to put the names of the living grandparents.
Niftar names – I happened to see a few times in the non-charedi circles in Israel.

keym

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 10:31 am

I like when grandparents especially the mothers parents are on the invitation.

When I receive old classmates invitations, I don't always remember that Esti Schwartz is Rabbi and Mrs Yossi Fried, parents of Moishy. When I see the grandparents name, it helps place the family.

Anyways I always thought this was a post war introduction, to remember the parents and grandparents who weren't physically there, but whose neshamos are there.

Personally, I love adding grandparents, living and not. Though I could hear that messy or dysfunctional families get complicated with the wording.