Need help weaning my 2 year old off nighttime bottles

Mama Bear

Mon, Nov 19 2007, 11:09 pm

As you know, Shimon Moshe was always a bottlefed baby. he would eat every 3 hours around the clock, 24 hours. He'd wake up every 3 hours during the night as well. Eventually when we weaned him off formula he continued waking every 3 hours, so I gave him milk or diluted fruit juice instead. Fortunately by then he was holding the bottle himself, so it was just a matter of giving him his bottle and dropping back off to sleep. I would prepare a couple of bottles next to my bed so I wouldnt have to leave my bedroom in middle of the night.

But it's come to the point where he is very dependent on bottles to soothe himself back to sleep. So now at age 2 and 3 months, he wakes a gazilloin times a night, and he needs a bottle every time to fall asleep again. This leads to 3 big problems: 1) He wakes up SOAKED in the morning. I have to change his diaper once a night. 2) I am dead tired! A 2 year old should be sleeping through the night, not waking as often as a newborn! He usually wakes at 1:00, then at 3:00, sometime between 4 and 5, sometime between 6 and 7, and finally for the day at 9. The child drinks four bottles a night!!! 3) IYH if I'll have to leave him anywhere for my sister in law's wedding, or IYH one day if and when I'll have another baby and have to leave him somewhere for 2 weeks, NO ONE will want to take him! Who wants to get up 4-5 times a night to a 3+ year old???

So I have to start sleep training him. I'll probably have to do it before Pesach, because I want to send him to cheder after Pesach and I cant have him be tired and cranky in cheder. THe only question is: HOW??? I've tried giving him water bottles, 3 ounce bottles, nothing helps. He keeps waking.

I am absolutely opposed to Crying It Out. I was never able to do it - not when he was a newborn, not when he was a year old, never. I CERTAINLY can't start doing this in the middle of the night when I'm dead tired and bleary eyed and all I want to do is crawl back into my warm bed. Our rooms are adjacent to each other and I wouldnt be able to sleep if he cries. I cant listen to him cry. The last time I let him cry it out I had to pop a dvd into my computer and turn up the volume. Where am I supposed to go while I let him cry? Plus I simply dont believe in the theory. I dont think a 2 year old undrstands waht you want from him in the dead of night when all he wants is his soothie to fall back asleep.

Secondly, many, many 2 year olds rely on some sort of vice for comfort. A blankie, a stuffed animal, a pacifier, etc. His vice is his bottle. I think it's pretty mean to take away a means of soothing from such a young child. He is essentially still a baby.

I wish I could figure out a method of getting him to wake less often. WHY does he keep waking so often? Why cant he sleep for a couple of hours straight? it's wierd; I'm more tired these days than when he was younger, because he woke less! Now I'm lucky if I sleep for 2 hours in a row. I am so tired every day that I take a nap when he does. He has gotten so reliant on the bottle that he often wakes DURING HIS DAYNAP and will only fall asleep again with a bottle.

So people, please please help me out here. If the only solution is to let him cry, how can I do it in a way that neither of us lose our minds in the process? Is there another way? Anyone got any ideas?

Thanks muchly.

gryp

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 9:01 am

I did this with my two year old, it was just crazy refilling his bottle every time he wanted it, changing his diapers, and his crib sheets every morning.

What I did was give him less and less eventually until he doesn't care for it anymore. Drop by drop less basically, slowly until he gets used to his new amount of water in the bottle and doesn't need more than that. Then a bit less, and less.

He did have to cry a bit, not for very long since he caught on quickly that he gets one bottle when he goes to bed and no more. If you give in it just confuses him, holding firm in this will teach him quickly. I wouldn't start this though until he gets used to much less water in his bottle. If I saw he was really having a hard time falling asleep once in a while I would give him another drop in his bottle and tell him no more.

Other factors helped too, like the fact that he got a cold and couldn't fall asleep with the bottle in his mouth, since he needed his mouth to breathe.
And we put a spill-proof sippy cup in his crib with water so he had a drink if he was really thirsty. He never touched the sippy cup, he saw it as his enemy and the end to his bottles. I also put some stuffed duckies in his crib to try and get him attached to something else, which worked a little.

He's been going to sleep with not even a full ounce of water in his bottle, he still loves it. When he wakes up rarely in the middle of the night and says he wants more, he's happy to take a sip from a regular cup and go right back to sleep.

Hatzlacha! You must be zonked.

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 10:42 am

If (and I sincerely hope not) you still have this problem Pesach time, do what a friend just told me she did. Her son was also drinking bottles at night when he was 1.5, so Pesach time she just didn't get any Pesachdik bottles. There was nothing to drink from, and he learned not to wake up anymore for bottles, and then he slept through the night.
I know it's not much of a help, but sometimes not having the capability to have the crutch helps children sleep better.
You could start limiting the bottles -- Shimmy, when you finish this bottle, you can only have a new one when it's light outside. And slowly phase them out. He's old enough to understand. No, he won't like it, but it needs to be done, if only for his teeth. I would keep a cup if WATER in his bed so if he's indeed thirsty he can help himself.
Perhaps a reward system will work: first, only 2 bottles at night gets a sticker. A week later, only 1, a sticker. Then, if he goes through the whole night with no bottle and no crying out for Mommy, he gets a sticker for that.
Once he completes a level, give him a small prize.

TzenaRena

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 10:55 am

I'm sure everyone is aware of the risk of nursing bottle syndrome for the teeth, with nightime bottles. It's something to watch out for, I've seen numerous children with it, one needed to have all his front teeth pulled, they were so rotted. BH it's only baby teeth, but will take a lllooooong time till he grows new ones,.

qeenB

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 7:21 pm

when I wanted to have my 2 year old stop drinking all night, I got rid of all the sippy cups and told him I was so sorry but there are no more in the house the cleaning lady lost them. if he wanted he could have a drink in a cup. it worked pretty quickly and I would say within a week he had stopped. a few months later he relapsed so then I hid the milk and told him we didnt have any more milk and he could have water and that B"H cured it. its realy just a bad habit they need to adjust to stopping, and the cutting down doesnt realy force them to give it up. I always empathized with my kids yeah I wish we had milk etc so they felt I was realy wanting to give it to them and it wasnt some sort of punishment. my kids never had bottles but the sippy cups can be just as bad!

greenfire

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 7:32 pm

not an easy stitch since its his comfort ... can you get him a pacy maybe ... but patience and what gr said ...

pink car

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 7:40 pm

try to put less juice and more water in his bottle and fill the bottle less over the course of the next few weeks

try to leave the house without the bottle during the day, and try to limit the time he has with it during play time etc. to become less dependent on it.

have you ever tried giving him a cup to drink from? or a sippy cup? you could always bribe him by putting in a drink that he would like to try (I put apple juice, since he was only having formyula in his bottle, in a sippy cup for my ds to try it and I took out the insert to make it easier to drink the first time) it worked great, after 2 days, of drinking 100% juice (he loved it!!) I took away the bottles and then I slowly diluted the juice until it was mostly water, after a few months he was drinking just water!!

SingALong

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 9:22 pm

I had the same problem, my kid was addicted to bottles and drinking her way through the night. I left her a couple of spare bottles in her crib so she could help herself which let me sleep but rotted her teeth.
Sooooooo we went for her first dental visit, which scared her of course so I reminded her when she asked for a bottle that the dentist said no. it helped, and after a week of that, I threw them out and told her the garbage man took them away, she is big now only cups...
as for sleeping thru the night, well, she's 3 1/2 now and still waking me up to come into my bed!

Esther23

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 9:27 pm

Try telling him over and over how big he is, not a baby anymore and only babies drink bottles, mention a name of a baby he knows. Also, definitely stop putting in juice only water so automatically he won't be so thrilled with it. But it definitely seems harder than I had because my son only went to sleep with one and did not wake up at night like yours does so I don't know if my advice is so helpful.
Hatzlacha raba, I hope you succeed and meanwhile try to nap during the day!

Mama Bear

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 9:34 pm

all your ideas are great but you keep forgetting that int he middle of the night he refuses to reason and I dont have the energy to argue.

mummy

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 9:43 pm

The first thing I did was to cut down on the amount of bottles during the day and putting less in the bottle. Drink boxes are a treat for dd so I gave her those sometimes instead of a bottle to help break the habit.

Then came the hard part stopping the night time bottles altogether. Before bed time I gave her a bottle and held her and cuddled and sang together - no bottle in bed at all. In the night when she woke up for a bottle I offered her a sippy cup etc which she refused.

I know you dont want the crying bit but ill be honest. For 2 night I was up for 3 - 4 hours singing to her and rubbing her back, going in and out of the room. I was warned it could take a week or two but for me it was only a few nights and then dd was sleeping through the night and no more soaking bed.

Good luck. Its hard to hear your child cry but its the best for both of you in the long run. I cried with dd sometimes. Im not sure if it was out of sympathy or pure exhaustion.

MahPitom

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 10:04 pm

I am going through a similar situation now. First I started giving less and less in the bottle, that made a huge difference. When it came down to 1.5 ounces I started bribing her. I brought her a chocolate and the 1 oz. bottle and asked her which one she wants. She picked the chocolate!

This went on for a few days B’H and then she changed her mind. So now I’m simply bribing her with staying dry. I put a chocolate in to the drawer of the night table near her bed. I told that in the morning, she can have it if she’s dry.

Amazingly, she understood! She wakes up dry and tells me so! She totally gets it.

BeershevaBubby

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 12:57 am

Mama Bear wrote:

all your ideas are great but you keep forgetting that int he middle of the night he refuses to reason and I dont have the energy to argue.

Of course you don't have the energy.. you're getting up 6 times a night.

I'd start with the advice of putting less water into his bottles. No more juice no more milk at night, just a few ounces of water. Your mantra will become "Can I really afford all the dental work should his teeth start to rot?"

Yes it will be difficult, especially in the beginning. But your son (and you) need to get out of this unnecessary habit and pattern he's fallen into.

You're a strong woman. I know you have it in you.

gryp

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 10:05 am

I wanted to reinforce the part about rotting teeth. My 2 yr old has one slightly brown tooth on top (I noticed it only in sunlight) and I will forever kick myself for that.

momo2boys

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 10:23 am

PPL I just can't understand those parents giving kids bottles in bed, (ok I'm not talking about the ones that were bottle fed since birth) but why get babies used to a bottle in bed, my "2boys" NEVER went into bed w/ a bottle of any kind (or a sippy cup, for that matter) no such thing, you drink at dinner time and that's that, they don't even know of such a thing. And for you guys that want to wean them off, the only thing I can say is don't do it slowly, as in diluting the juice than going to only water, cause they'll get used to the water, and then won't mind it as long as they get to drink, GO STRAIGHT TO THE WATER, he'll be mad, he'll even cry and still wake up, but you keep giving him only the water, untill he'll give up, seeing that you won't give in, hey who wants just water 4 times a night. I hope it works for you!

gryp

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 10:27 am

Why? because my baby was 9 months and refused to sleep out of my bed until I bribed him with a bottle to sleep in his crib.

Also, when babies/kids have colds they want to drink extra. I don't see what's wrong with putting a bottle with some water in with them.

momo2boys

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 10:31 am

CAUSE THEN YOU CAN'T GET RID OF IT AND THEY WAKE UP FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't you want your' kids sleeping through the night from 6 mo. old?

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 10:31 am

I don't like bottles because the child can suck all night, and it's not good for the teeth, but I do get thirsty at night and my children can also! When my older son was 9 months old, I let him have a spill proof straw cup with water in bed for when he needed to drink. I don't see any problem with that. He still woke up to nurse, but it lessened over time.

momo2boys

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 10:34 am

yes....so if the child is not used to any drink during the night but once in a while wakes up for a drink I give him just cause it's not an official habit........

gryp

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 10:34 am

momo2boys wrote:

CAUSE THEN YOU CAN'T GET RID OF IT AND THEY WAKE UP FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't you want your' kids sleeping through the night from 6 mo. old?

I'm not sure what you're talking about. Why would 6 month olds be sleeping through the night? And what does that have to do with bottles?