Need help weaning my 2 year old off nighttime bottles

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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Tamiri

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 12:47 pm

Mama Bear, so essentially you are bowing to his wishes and he is the boss. That is one parenting style. The only problem with it is when he gets older and you STILL have no koach to deal with his tantrums... what then? Do you believe it gets any easier? I, for one, can tell you: it doesn't! And what if you G-d willing have another baby? Will THAT baby have to suffer the tantrums when older brother doesn't want to do what he is supposed to? Will older baby learn that behavior?
2 yo children can be untrained tyrants. It's our job to make human beings out of them.

Tamiri

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 12:51 pm

I will reiterate what I wrote before: your baby is playing you for a fool. He KNOWS you don't want to hear him wailing and that it breaks your heart. You will do ANYTHING to keep him from wailing and he knows it.
So, as I wrote before: give him PERMISSION to scream and yell as much as he likes. Grin and bear it. Tell him to scream as long and as loud as he pleases, you will enjoy it from your bedroom. Once he sees you are not that impressed with his might and will, he'll probably feel a little silly and simmer down. But it all depends on YOUR attitude.

gryp

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 12:53 pm

Mama Bear, he might surprise you and learn quickly, you never know. And one or two nights of some crying is much better than continuing to wake you up forever.

Quote:

There are some babies for whom the "iron hand" works and others for whom it does not. There are some babies who don't NEED the "iron hand" because they are just "good

Right.
My first slept on his own before 3 months, my second and third were major challenges. Nothing worked until they were ready to sleep through, and I tried EVERYTHING.
And guess what? My third put himself to sleep for naps and for bedtime since 2 months old. He was a dream come true after my second. Until teething set in- then he awoke every ten minutes before midnight and every half an hour afterwards, no exaggeration. I lived like that for months, until he was old enough to sleep long enough for us to get some sleep too.

momo2boys

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 1:23 pm

gr, this is what I meant about "training" you listen to the kid cry for just a couple of nights then they stop=trained Very Happy

mom42

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 1:32 pm

My daughter was 2.5 when I decided to take her sippy cup away from her.
I explained to her that after she stops having the cup, maybe she will wake up dry, and then she won't need diapers any more, and then we can buy her a new bed(she was still in the crib).
She was so excited, she gave me the cup right away, and woke me up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.
In the morning she woke up dry, ever since she's been dry and out of diapers.
Maybe if you take the time to talk to him before he goes to sleep, he'll understand better, you can also try bribing him with a sticker chart and a prize.

Good Luck!

gryp

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 1:35 pm

momo2boys wrote:

gr, this is what I meant about "training" you listen to the kid cry for just a couple of nights then they stop=trained Very Happy

yes, if the kid is ready for it. If he can't handle it, it's the wrong thing to do, in my experience.

Mama Bear

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 2:03 pm

I repeat. I know how to do the middle of the night screaming training. I just dont feel up to it right now.

I guess if there is no other solution I'll have to do that, but I'll postpone it with a couple of months, because I don't feel emotionally ready for it.

amother

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 2:06 pm

Oy Oy OY , mama bear, I could have written your exact post a few years ago. I made the exact same mistake, only I had TWO kids under age three who were waking up all night for bottles. I was going insane! By the next baby, I said never again! And I dont allow a baby to fall asleep with a bottle. Yes, he still get bottles, but he finishes it before falling asleep, and then falls asleep on his own and does not wake up during the night.

The only way to stop this is either by letting him cry it out for a few nights. Or give him the bottle before bed and dont let him fall asleep with it, and then put him into bed. When he wakes up in middle of the night, give him a drink in a sippy cup, let him finish it and then fall asleep again. The point is to get him used being able to fall asleep without something in his mouth.

(I remember a long time ago, you once posted that you give your baby a bottle to bed and I wanted to tell you- please dont do the same mistake I did!! It'll be so hard to get rid of it later!)

gryp

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 2:09 pm

Mama Bear, it will take a while to get him down to less than an ounce in his bottle. Maybe by then you'll feel up to a night or two of crying.

Mama Bear

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 2:28 pm

amother - how can *I* make sure he doesnt fall asleep with the bottle? I can't stand over his head like a hawk and force him to stay awake.

Btw he usually falls asleep after finishing the bottle because I find the bottle empty and somewhere under his pillow or in the corner of the crib.

He also has an adorable meshugaas that when I bring him a bottle he won't settle down until I take the old empty bottle away Very Happy

The last 2 nights he has only woken once a night for the bottle which is great, so I'm hoping maybe as he gets older he'll self wean slowly.

The other day he saw his wet sheet in the laundry and said innocently, Shimmie trinkt asach butties! LOL Very Happy

Esther23

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 4:14 pm

you can make sure he finishes his bottle before falling asleep if you give it to him before you put him in the crib.

anuta

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 5:17 pm

Mama Bear,

Here is advice my pediatrician gave me to wean my (much younger at the time, though) child off nighttime feedings. She said to slowly substitute the substance in the bottle with water. First swap one ounce for water, then two, etc, until the whole thing is water. Supposedly he will stop caring for it. (I didn't do it then, for the same reasons as you - didn't want to not sleep nights; he was breastfed, so I didn't want to get up and bother with bottles, was so much easier to just take him into my bed, give him my breast and continue sleeping. I perpetuated it until he was too old, I just recently sleep trained him...)

However, it might not work completely for your child, since he is older and this is also emotional for him. I was very much helped by the book by Dr. Weissbluth "Healthy sleep habits, happy child". He offers solutions to all kinds of sleep problems for kids aged from infancy to toddlerhood. He is a pediatrician specializing in sleep. Techniques vary depending on the age. For a 2 year old, crying out loud might not work so well alone..

I recently sleep trained my child; it was easy, but he is an easy kid. With my first (daughter) I also could have never done crying out loud, and with her it wouldn' work. With my son, I did; he didn't even cry that much (less than 5 min at his longest stretch), and on the third (!!!) night he was sleeping through the night. But he was about 15-16 months old.

Another thing; even to my 15- months old, I explained what I am doing. Before putting him to sleep, I would explain that he is a big boy, and he is going to sleep all night in his own bed... And if he wakes up he will have to go back to sleep by himself. And if I had to come to him at night, I would also whisper to him some of the same things... I don't know how much he understood, but I felt it helped...

zigi

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 8:29 pm

the way to make sure that your baby is not falling asleep from the bottle is to give him the bottle before he is in a crib, he finnishes thew bottle then change him and put him to bed.

good luck, I had to untrain my baby 2 years old. basically I did what everyone else suggested, water down the bottles, don't run in right away to give the bottle, untill its only water, then cut the nipples, good luck it did take effort to wean.

I gave him a sippy cup filled with water, just in case he gets thirsty.

718

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 12:17 am

SingALong wrote:

I had the same problem, my kid was addicted to bottles and drinking her way through the night. I left her a couple of spare bottles in her crib so she could help herself which let me sleep but rotted her teeth.
Sooooooo we went for her first dental visit, which scared her of course so I reminded her when she asked for a bottle that the dentist said no. it helped, and after a week of that, I threw them out and told her the garbage man took them away, she is big now only cups...
as for sleeping thru the night, well, she's 3 1/2 now and still waking me up to come into my bed!

gosh! I feel so guilty for all kinds of reasons
My son is 3.4 and still takes bottle when he goes to sleep- chocolate milk
I was wondering why his front tooth was turning brown until dh told me its prob from the bottle- which totaly makes sense!
I told him last few days that we will be going to see dentist and we need to throw bottles out cuz its rotting his teeth. So tonight I reminded him of this and he went to sleep without a bottle
But he just woke and wouldnt go back to sleep. He was crying and was koo-koo so I took the easy way out and made him small bottle. Of course I feel guilty too since its only harming him
I see most people said just let him cry, throw them away, give him water
but it wont work. I already told him well make a chart and hell get big prizes
Any other ideas?
Oh, and will the teeth get better or is it too late?

sweet

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 12:36 am

my daughter is now 2.5
about 3 months ago I "mistakenly" left her bottle by my inlaws when I was there for shobbas,
she cried for 2 nights, we put on uncle moishy to fall asleep and she forgot about it.

Although now shes all into uncle moisy, That when It comes shobbas she crys that she has to hear uncle moishy.

718

Sun, Sep 05 2010, 12:47 am

the crazy thing is that my son has a pacifier and blankie
So he has his comfort things but he goes balistic if he doesnt get his bottle.

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