We are wealthy Bh. Ask me anything

amother

Orange

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 10:45 am

amother wrote:

My hub had a good job....gave tzedaka...had prestige...and some fringe benefits from community......Then he lost his job......bigger adjustment besides not having the money was his identity....social standing....& all of a sudden all those fringe benefits stopped...that was the most hurtful. Lost many friends when he lost the money.

Those are the kind of “friends” who are only your “friends” because you have money. They are not true friends.

amother

Papaya

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 10:46 am

amother wrote:

People think having the money is bliss.....marbeh nechusim marbeh daage....anyone ever tried building a house how stressful that can be.....it starts with a doormat.....

Living on certain social standing & expectations.....if you have wealthy friends you need to keep up the standards of simchas you make....if you receive extravagant gifts from the Richie friends....you need to reciprocate.....these things can turn into a competition & be stressful to keep up.

There's the daage of losing the money invested in funds....stress over deals....seeing a hub being stressed about making more money.....once you have one....you want two....doesnt always bring happiness.....

Because you are up there....you have to be a role model....house always needs to be perfect....a fancy messy house doesn't make sense.....kids always need to look perfect because everyone is always looking at them...

Then there's dealing with people's stupid comments & jealousy....& people trying to get the money out of you...

Even the fear of money or valuables being stolen...lost....sometimemes even fear for own life...

Everything is on a bigger scale....
bigger house...more to clean..
More expensive jewelry worn....more fear not to lose...
Bigger investment-bigger loss when fails

Why do you feel you have to wear expensive jewelry just because you can afford it? I could afford expensive jewelry but don’t see its functional value. Aside from my wedding ring, I wear none. You can surely also choose to make smaller/lower risk investments?

Also, nobody is forcing you to keep up with social expectations or house cleanliness standards. Our house is well worn and definitely not a show home. In fact, by looks you might think we NEED tzedakah! I guess my question is why do you put this extra social pressure on yourself? Why not give the better gifts to your poorer friends who will appreciate them more vs your richie friends who don’t need more stuff?

amother

Linen

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 10:49 am

amother wrote:

So as long as others have more than you, you’re not gonna consider yourself wealthy. Stop comparing. That’s not healthy.

Your inference shows a lack of understanding towards what I posted. I'm not comparing. I'm saying that since I'm surrounded by so much more wealth, I don't consider myself rich. Just like if a poor American moved to Africa they may consider themselves rich, when they would be considered poor in my neighborhood. There is a big difference between having 1-5 million, 10-20 million, 100+ million, 500+ million, a billion, etc.

A person who makes $150,000 annually is considerably poorer than his neighbor who makes $5 million annually. However, that individual who makes $5 million annually is the same ratio poorer as his neighbor is to him with regards to a business associate who makes approximately $167 million annually... If someone making $5 million annually is surrounded by people making much more, he may not be considered rich at all. Makes sense?

amother

Orange

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 10:59 am

amother wrote:

No doesn’t make sense. Because if you earn 5 million dollars you’re rich, regardless of what your neighbor earns.

Of course there’s a difference between 1 million and 20 million. But just because your neighbors have 20 million while you have 5 million, doesn’t make you not rich. This is big time comparing. If you have 10 children and your neighbor has 13 children, does that make you have a small family? Your neighbor has a larg”er” family and is rich”er”.
Saying that you have a small family and/or that you’re poor, in my eyes, it’s comparing, jealous and unhappy. Because as long as your neighbor will have more you’ll want more too. Please be happy with what you have. Life is short.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 11:05 am

amother wrote:

100% agree.

Maya

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 11:06 am

amother wrote:

Ok. So I’ve disscussed it with Dh and we decided that I should answer Very Happy

Dh has a yearly profit in the lower millions.
So now it’s gonna be my turn to ask- is that WEALTHY wealthy or just wealthy Rolling Eyes

Thank you for clarifying.
I guess I just thought shopping and vacations was an odd way of describing and measuring wealth. As others have pointed out, many of us here can say the same without considering ourselves wealthy.

Also, based on some things you wrote, I’m going to guess you’re living a chassidish lifestyle, and that often saves you money in some areas, such as the second car+insurance, and the lower tuition. So that’s cool Smile

I admire how your priorities have stayed constant in the face of temptation to flaunt.

amother

Linen

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 11:08 am

amother wrote:

You are totally off. If you have 4 kids in the secular world, you have a large family. If you have 2 you have a beautiful size. If you have 4 kids and you live in Monroe, you have a small family. There is no "er" in any of those words.

BH we are wealthy and rich for an American; however, we are average or below-average for our surroundings. I've never been jealous or wanted something someone else has in any way shape or form or think about "er" at all.

NovelConcept

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 11:08 am

Maya wrote:

I admire how your priorities have stayed constant in the face of temptation to flaunt.

Maya, I admire this posting of yours.

Zehava

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 11:09 am

Maya wrote:

I admire how your priorities have stayed constant in the face of temptation to flaunt.

No way maya! She ain’t chassidish if most kids in her circles haven’t been on a plane and wear gap. And her husband drives a sienna even though he makes millions. Maybe she lives out of town? Like out of the metro area?

amother

Linen

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 11:11 am

Maya wrote:

Ok. So I’ve disscussed it with Dh and we decided that I should answer Very Happy

Dh has a yearly profit in the lower millions.
So now it’s gonna be my turn to ask- is that WEALTHY wealthy or just wealthy Rolling Eyes

So I consider this plain, simple wealthy; however, you have potential to significantly increase that wealth if allocated appropriately and of course if Hashem wills it. I wish everyone here overflowing wealth, health and happiness, you included.

amother

Lilac

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 11:13 am

amother wrote:

Earlier in this thread, I mentioned selling a business for a billion dollars. I know someone who did that.

Their house is not always perfect. Its lived in. The kids don't always look perfect. And since their clothes sometimes wind up in my house, and my kids' clothes at their house, I'm pretty familiar with their clothes.

I suppose they worry about their valuables being stolen, but not more than most people. They presumably have insurance.

You're living the life that you chose, not one that you are required to have.

As to the worries about losing investments, and the troubles of building a home, its called a "humble brag." And you really should be keeping sufficient funds to maintain your lifestyle in relatively low risk investments.

amother

Orange

Wed, Nov 07 2018, 11:17 am

Maya wrote:

I admire how your priorities have stayed constant in the face of temptation to flaunt.

Yes. Chassidish.
Was an easy guess. Wasn’t it? Lol