We are wealthy Bh. Ask me anything

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amother

Bronze

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 3:02 pm

Did your husband start his business from scratch or did he join an already successful family business?

amother

Peach

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 3:03 pm

amother wrote:

This question gives me the feeling that you’re ate financially well off too, correct me if I’m wrong.
This is one of the most challenging things for a wealthy family and it’s something that people don’t realize.
I definitely draw my lines where I should or shouldn’t spend money, my children know how to value money. Basically, we go along with the flow. We do what’s the norm in our circles. And sometimes, I have to think a lot before buying something for a child. For example- I bought a specific new necessatie for my dd. After using it for a few days she decided it wasn’t so in style, so she wanted another one. It was no big deal to replace it. It was all of $30. But we chose not to spoil her.

Wow! I really admire you for the chinuch you're giving your children!

Actually, I'm anything but wealthy (though not poor ch"v). My husband is the sole breadwinner, he is employed and we BH have what we need, but on quite a tight budget. However, the reason why I may have given the impression that I "get it" is because I know some wealthy people and have seen the other side, the struggles. Most people salivate at the thought of being wealthy but I really don't because I know it comes with a price tag.

amother

Orange

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 3:06 pm

carnation wrote:

Love this thread.

How do you prioritize who to give tzdakah for? What makes you want to give to a specific cause?

We give to everyone who comes asking for money. Sometimes more sometimes less, depending on the case and depending on the income of that timing. There are also some that we give without them asking, family or friends that we know need it. Some cases touch my heart more than others.

amother

Orange

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 3:12 pm

amother wrote:

Do you feel superior to other people?
I have a friend who is well-off and when I ask her for a recommendation- say for a good doctor she used-will respond with something like “He’s very expensive, try this and this other dr. who takes insurance”. So belittling.

No. No. No
I would answer: I used Dr A. He’s really good and I was very happy. Give them a call to schedule an appt and doublecheck if they accept your insurance.
She will find out from them that they are expensive.

amother

Orange

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 3:42 pm

amother wrote:

Did your husband start his business from scratch or did he join an already successful family business?

l

From scratch.

amother

Lilac

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 4:12 pm

What do you consider "wealthy"?

kneidel

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 4:31 pm

Why is this even a thing?
Why is it different to: I can sing, AMA; I have blonde hair, AMA?
What made you open this thread? Genuine question here.

amother

Orange

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 4:40 pm

kneidel wrote:

Why is this even a thing?
Why is it different to: I can sing, AMA; I have blonde hair, AMA?
What made you open this thread? Genuine question here.

Its a thing just like anything else on this site is a thing.
Who says it’s different? In fact, it’s pretty much the same. Being able to sing and being wealthy is both a gift from Hashem. Being blonde and being s mikvah lady is both something that Hashem sent your way. So I’m not quite sure what your question is.
I have no specific reason that made me open this thread. I’m sorry if you don’t like it.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 4:40 pm

kneidel wrote:

Why is this even a thing?
Why is it different to: I can sing, AMA; I have blonde hair, AMA?
What made you open this thread? Genuine question here.

I actually find it really interesting to read. I think alot of people dream about being able to afford anything... I really like all these 'ask me anything threads.'

Here's my question-
You mentioned you give money to family and friends. How do you go about doing that? Simply give them large monetary gifts when they have a simcha? Or just flat out hand them a check at a random time?

This is something I always wondered how I would do this if Hashem blessed me with a lot of wealth. How do you give without making them feel uncomfortable?

kneidel

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 4:45 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks Orange. I appreciate your perspective. I guess it's just the last question I would've put out there had I started a personal AMA. But hey, this thread is not about me.

amother

Oak

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 4:51 pm

I come from a very well known wealthy family and all my friends were not ( I guess I chose them). I was so jealous and hated my lifestyle. I still love to brag that the cleaner cost too much money or I'd rather go to department stores to buy kids shoes than local Jewish stores. My friends saved money to go to camp and I joined them. We collected all our babysitting money ... what an achievement ☺ I felt like my friends lived a family orientated life way more than our family that went vacationing to hotels twice a year.

gingertop

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 4:58 pm

Did your new wealth change your relationships with family or friends who are not wealthy?
My husband is doing quite well. I don't know if I would call myself wealthy at this point but we have everything we need and more. People know that I stopped working so I guess they realize that I don't need to work. But I'm uncomfortable living on a higher standard, especially when near some friends who can barely make ends meet. Do you feel inhibited?

amother

Lavender

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 5:23 pm

Would you consider not wearing anything with a brand name label that is visible on the outside? As well as not clothing your children that way?

For the purpose of not rubbing it in to poor people/ children in school etc

When I was a kid in school I would feel physical hurt in my heart when my classmates would wear obviously brand name clothing and school bags...my parents couldnt afford to buy me a shirt from walmart, and it hurt triple when I would see "tommy hilfiger" or whatever

amother

Babypink

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 5:26 pm

Could you give me $10,000 to pay off our credit card bill due today?

Nah only kidding. We'll manage somehow.

Nice thread.

amother

Cerulean

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 5:29 pm

Have you married off any kids? How do you navigate shidduchim when wealthy?

My very wealthy acquaintance has a hard time saying yes to a shidduch because she is always suspicious if the person is interested in marrying their child or if they want their money.

amother

Lawngreen

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 5:33 pm

amother wrote:

Could you give me $10,000 to pay off our credit card bill due today?

Same here. I'd be happy with 5k too.

amother

Navy

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 5:35 pm

Are people always asking you to lend them money?
Do they repay you?

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 5:39 pm

Do you fly first class (or business ) and what do you do with your kids ?

Simple1

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 5:57 pm

amother wrote:

The kids wearing brand names aren't always necessarily wealthy.

amother

Blue

Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:01 pm

You still didn’t answer what you consider wealthy. How much does your dh earn per month?

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