What's your big challenge in Life??? HUGS!

Surrendered

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:29 am

Dear Husbands,
Can you please be a little more understanding of your innocent wife, she's really trying her best to make you happy. Why blame her? Don't cheat, she's willing to do anything for you as long as you're loyal and nice to her. There's only so much she could do to keep the house in order, with the time and energy she has. So what if the house is not tip top, can you give her a hand and a foot?

Surrendered

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:31 am

Seagreen, can we please be friends? You're such a sweet and caring person. Who cares about weight? As long as you wear your signature smile, you look amazing.

Last edited by Surrendered on Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:33 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Green

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:31 am

tf wrote:

Pleeeease see a social worker. Your past does NOT have to haunt you. You CAN love yourself.

What ? Why do I need to speak to a social worker. ? I love myself . Am I not allowed to be sad that I don't have a mother? Am I not allowed to be sad that my kids don't have a grandmother ? That's not called the past haunting me . I lost my dear mother and I'm in pain because I miss her so much .

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:31 am

I'm crying and davening for everyone. I lost my job and need money and a new job.but hopefully it's a short term problem

amother

Olive

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:37 am

So many people lost jobs, and struggling financially, I'm not the only one??? This is one of the most challenging nisyonos!
Where's Trump with his boasting in providing jobs? Hiding

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:39 am

amother wrote:

I'm sorry if I came across rude. It was not my intention. I also lost my mother when she and I were not ripe old ages. Not only did I get past it, but I also found a gift from this loss, as weird as it may sound. I also have many many more difficulties in life but my focus with this response was specifically on losing my mom. I feel sorry for all of those who have experienced it and were not yet able to find the gift. Before it happened I'd NEVER ask for it, but since it did and I'm past the phases of grief sorrow and mourning, I might as well bask in the gift.

amother

Green

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:42 am

tf wrote:

You got past it ?! Good for you . I will never get past it . I loved my mother dearly . She was an amazing person and we were very close . I will never get past losing her . Yes life goes on but the pain will always be there . How on earth can it be a gift ?

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:42 am

tf wrote:

whats the gift of losing a mother?

Surrendered

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:43 am

Psheee tf, you already got to the level of seeing the good in the seemingly bad. Good for you. How did you get to this acceptance stage in life?

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:53 am

amother wrote:

Maybe her mom was a crazy lunatic that abused her ?!

How would that be helpful to someone who loved their mother?

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:54 am

amother wrote:

Maybe her mom was a crazy lunatic that abused her ?!

Absolutely not. She was an amazing person. Finding a gift in any traumatic experience is looots of inner work. I still miss her. I still cry 30+ yrs later. But I also see how this has helped me.

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:57 am

I read tons and tons of self help books every. Single. Sentence. Over n over again and again until it was integrated in the very essence of my being. Crazy hard work. Extremely difficult. But worth it at the end of the day.

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:04 am

tf wrote:

Can you give one concrete example of something you incorporated into your life as a result of reading all the books?

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:09 am

amother wrote:

Can you give one concrete example of something you incorporated into your life as a result of reading all the books?

I regularly do "the Emett Example" by Miriam Adahan. Look it up online. This is exercise for emotional health, with 4 parts to it.
1- write down the trigger
2- name all emotions and immediate reactions
3- find a way to strengthen a part of yourself.
4- endorsement for doing this work.

Surrendered

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 3:00 am

Wow, this must be super hard, keeping a health condition a secret, for such a long time. I'm sure there are support groups out there for this condition. Wouldn't it make it easier for you to join such a group? Maybe even anonymous online group?

amother

Red

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 3:36 am

I have a debilitating phobia that only my husband really knows about. I've been working on it in therapy for years and making tiny steps in the right direction. But anyone who never experienced this can never understand how it can take over your life, constantly being on alert, being limited in things u can do. I was extremely depressed at 1 point on meds. Suicidal....
And no one really knows about it or how bad it is...

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 3:59 am

My dh who is fab hasnt held down a job in 20 years. When I nag, we fight, and he looks for work halfhertedly. He's just happy doing his "stuff" in his home office....
I constantly struggle if I should nag Or just leave it and struggle financially but have shalom bayit.
I know ppl have worse....and hugs to you all.
May hashem bring yeshuot to us all.
I just want to add that every so often I feel.a hug from above. Ex 2 years ago erev pesach we were struggling to make yt and suddenly got some extras from tax return
A few months ago we were again struggling and someone called my dh out of the blue with a small job which helped...
I keep looking for those hugs!

amother

Pink

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 7:33 am

struggling with life threatening illness. juggling treatment and family. I B"H have an appreciation every day. I no longer sweat the financial struggles, the house that may be taken away due to inability to pay the mortgage, the difficult people in my life and more. Facing your mortality makes one appreciate life for what it is and embrace and appreciate the day to day.
Hang in there all. Most struggles dont last forever ! Take one day at a time and search for the good you have.